rlc,
Nooooooooo...you NEVER EVER invite vampires in. How could you not know that? Have you never wasted hours on end watching eighties vampire movies? Step away from your computer, immediately, and get yourself down to the local video store and hire out Buffy, the full series, to familiarise yourself with appropriate vampire protocol. (But um...just ignore the bits where Buffy has...um...relations with the undead, don't think you need to mimic that part.) Because I, clearly, know more about vampires than you do, I never envisaged the blood letting taking place indoors. I always pictured it happening outside at night, with lots of trees and buildings nearby where the vampire's buddys could lurk in preparation for their ambush. Then again, yes, some vampires manage to conveniently get
hold of ancient amulets that give them special powers, like not turning to dust in the
daytime, but as you pointed out, finding a vampire who knows when to say when and who also has access to such a trinket, might be slightly unrealistic.
Don't just take garlic with you, eat buckets of the stuff prior to your next round of
tests. Spike that blood...
Oh I do like the idea of a Captain Chelation. Very nice. Although, if he's going to be
like Santa, will he enforce unrealistic requirements too? Will I have to be good to
qualify for demineralisation? Hmmmmm. How about "The Copper Bopper" a dude in an
appropriately coloured leotard who will "bop your copper problems on the head". Of course, he'd need some kind of copper bopping tool. Will mull that over. See what my overactive imagination can come up with.
Maybe golf is responsible for more than just the world's medical problems. I seem to
recall Douglas Adams blaming lots of stuff on cricket. Maybe golf is the new cricket. We could be onto something here. (Okay, so I accept that it was your idea, not mine, so I will edit that sentence accordingly in order to avoid accusations of plaigarism-
you could be onto something here.) Shall we take appropriate action? Start a "club a golfer for a better world" campaign?
On a more serious note, I don't think you read my last couple of posts properly...the
lepracaun doesn't live inside my head, he lives in my roof cavity (which is not a
euphenism for the carry case that my brain usually resides in...although I do kinda like the way it sounds). So there. The fact that your lepracaun does live inside your head is, quite frankly, a cause for concern. You really should get someone to look into it. And no, I don't mean another lepracaun.
4 Cheaper and faster air travel is needed immediately so we can get out of here, because were all going mad in are isolation.
I'll second that.
Yes, I concur. We aren't exactly great advocates for our country, are we. Do they still charge people with treason nowadays? I was actually wondering if "say when" is a phrase only used by kiwis that may confuse any non-kiwi folk reading this. I seem to recall a tv ad that drummed it in, way back...when. But then I realised that thinking that other people have read what I've written is just straight out paranoia, another copper thing. Sigh. So I'm going to just assume that the world can't read me. Guess that means that richvank is one of my lepracauns alter egos. Crap! That means you are too! OMG! You actually admitted it! All this time, I've just been conversing with that smarmy little sneak! OMG! OMG! OMG! That means that I might not be me...I might just be another one of the lepracaun's alter egos...I have to go...and find a mirror...check my face for lepracaunish features...can lepracauns shapeshift?
Hang on...if I'm not real...does that mean I don't really have a copper problem? Result!
ps-I hope you're not still reading this, rlc. You're supposed to be on route to the video store...
pps-thanks for making me laugh. Needed that.
ppps-you forgot to mention we have hobbits here too. Haven't spotted any in my roof cavity, but I'm cautiously optimistic. I could do with one, or two, to help me gang up on the lepracaun. I reckon the lepracaun would probably try to convince me that I have started hallucinating, and that the hobbits aren't real, but I know now I can't trust that little stirrer anymore, he did, after all, hack into my account. Crap! He might've hacked into my email accounts too...that means more passwords to invent, and remember...groan...tis going to be a long day...