Hi all.
I'm turning 40 next month and I wont lie I'm dreading it. I've lost 3 years to cfs (last year especially when it hit hard) and 8 years in total of anxiety since I was attacked by my brother and lost my mum and sisters as a result of not forgiving him. The trauma led to severe anxiety and PTSD. I then started with health issues a few years later.
Although I'm much better than last year I still don't get out and recently hit a bit of a crash again so I'm devastated. I was back house cleaning a bit each day, showering alone, cooking every night, sitting in my garden etc Now I'm back upstairs and am struggling to go down to the kitchen like last year. I have to rest much of the day. This makes me feel embarrassed to admit and I hate my children seeing me upstairs again and although they're all teenagers I feel less of a mum not cooking for them. Hubby is back doing the cooking and washing clothes after work. I hate I've lost that again these last few weeks. I was so ill for a year last year and I worked so hard this year to get 50% better and my depression lifted too. I became very depressed during last years horrific crash.
I'm scared of turning 40 incase I'm stuck resting on my bed, or not up to a photo with my family. I'm scared of it being a huge let down for my family even though I know they wont be upset if all I do is rest. I think I'm upset I cant do what I see other people doing on huge birthdays on my instagram etc. Any advice please on how to deal with this? It's in 3 weeks and I've been struggling all year with this date approaching but a few weeks ago I thought at least I can sit downstairs, have a little birthday tea together and cake. Now im back stuck upstairs. Its embarrassing I'm not like other people. Being in a bad fatigue crash and my anxiety has risen again since in the crash it's so hard.
Any tips on ways to think about this big birthday without feeling anxious or down about it? I just feel sad I'm 40 already and lost nearly a decade of my life. I'm glad to see the back of my 30s but only if I could say life begins at 40 lol
Even typing this has wore my arms and eyes out. I'm really struggling with screens and light too. Is this normal with cfs? Walking from room to room, the light changes affect me and can make me have a rush of anxiety. Screens flare my crash worse too. I'm guessing it's all cfs.
Ju
I'm turning 40 next month and I wont lie I'm dreading it. I've lost 3 years to cfs (last year especially when it hit hard) and 8 years in total of anxiety since I was attacked by my brother and lost my mum and sisters as a result of not forgiving him. The trauma led to severe anxiety and PTSD. I then started with health issues a few years later.
Although I'm much better than last year I still don't get out and recently hit a bit of a crash again so I'm devastated. I was back house cleaning a bit each day, showering alone, cooking every night, sitting in my garden etc Now I'm back upstairs and am struggling to go down to the kitchen like last year. I have to rest much of the day. This makes me feel embarrassed to admit and I hate my children seeing me upstairs again and although they're all teenagers I feel less of a mum not cooking for them. Hubby is back doing the cooking and washing clothes after work. I hate I've lost that again these last few weeks. I was so ill for a year last year and I worked so hard this year to get 50% better and my depression lifted too. I became very depressed during last years horrific crash.
I'm scared of turning 40 incase I'm stuck resting on my bed, or not up to a photo with my family. I'm scared of it being a huge let down for my family even though I know they wont be upset if all I do is rest. I think I'm upset I cant do what I see other people doing on huge birthdays on my instagram etc. Any advice please on how to deal with this? It's in 3 weeks and I've been struggling all year with this date approaching but a few weeks ago I thought at least I can sit downstairs, have a little birthday tea together and cake. Now im back stuck upstairs. Its embarrassing I'm not like other people. Being in a bad fatigue crash and my anxiety has risen again since in the crash it's so hard.
Any tips on ways to think about this big birthday without feeling anxious or down about it? I just feel sad I'm 40 already and lost nearly a decade of my life. I'm glad to see the back of my 30s but only if I could say life begins at 40 lol
Even typing this has wore my arms and eyes out. I'm really struggling with screens and light too. Is this normal with cfs? Walking from room to room, the light changes affect me and can make me have a rush of anxiety. Screens flare my crash worse too. I'm guessing it's all cfs.
Ju