Anyone live in a townhouse?

[Mouse girl]

oh yeah, i get it, we don't know our neighbors, for sure. But....it's pretty darn hard to get convicted and this little area has the most sex offenders so close by. Sex offenders also bring down the value of homes because people don't want to live by them. Geez, if only i thought of all this when i went insane and sold my beloved home due to the ptsd anxiety spiral. I did think of so much just got talked out of all my concerns because i was so not right in my mind at the time. it still doesn't seem real, it's so not the real me. It was ptsd me and i now, i'm super depressed, worn down, sad, grieving weird me.

i love all the imput, it's good. thanks

 

[Rufous McKinney]

I love swimming soo much but sometimes the clorine is too much for me. I wanted to get a pool of my own and make it saltwater. I smelled the pool water (I think?) and didn't smell too bad.

well a pool would be a plus, you might luck out and discover they don't treat it as intensely as some public pools are. Also, there tends to be the day pool man comes, more chlorine then- so timing is good to attend to.

We are all chlorine sensitive, too, my husband alot, he gets rashes etc.

 

[Rufous McKinney]

But....it's pretty darn hard to get convicted and this little area has the most sex offenders so close by. Sex offenders also bring down the value of homes because people don't want to live by them

I think my friend told me 195 sex offenders were within striking range of her two sons in this pleasant, not huge town...

 

[andyguitar]

Well, the thing is, i don't know how much more of this looking i can take. It does me in physicaly, mentally and emotionally.

Could you get an agent to look for you?

 

[Mouse girl]

@andyguitar No, i have to go to see if it works for me..... but, it's more than just going, it's all the stress and all the ongoing stress and strain and just living with constant uncertainty and fear as prices just continue to rise and rise with so many offers and demands of sellers. And none of the things I can afford fit my needs really. I can't handle all this stress and activity. At the best of times, i can only handle a few minor things a week, but this ongoing insane hardcore stress, loss and duress for three years solid. The thought of ever selling buying any home thing again makes me just think the worst. At home i got to recuperate in quiet and darkness at night instead of glaring streetlights. I could have windows open during the day and night and hear birds and crickets. I could rest, nap and go outside and listen and watch nature and animals. Now, my life is just constant struggle with noise and lights that make my nerves worn to the max. My cats were so happy there too and i just ruined it for them.

It's too too much to do all on this alone and while i'm so emotionally done in. It was too much to lose my home that i loved so much that helped me heal and be so happy and connected after losing my dad. i'm really worried that i have health complications now too. i worry i won't make it. so i do feel some urgency to get somewhere at least near familiar things before it's too late.

some friends have been a bit mean about it all too sort of implying i need to just get over it and put on my big girl panties. these are healthy people who have supportive families, who can work and play and have people who help them. some of these friends also told me to sell my home when i was confused and brought up concerns with them. I've handled all kinds of stress and strain and loss and change all alone and even when i got very ill in the early years, no one helped me or had concern for me or helped me navigate doctors, health insurance, work or massive bills. I did it all on my own plus navigating a horrific lawsuit from my brothers after my dad died all alone. None of my friends have done anything like that. sorry. it's a hard hard night. i am done in. thanks for being there. sorry this is so dreary.

 

[Juanita Vee]

@Mouse girl ... so sorry to hear you're struggling with finding a home. Any updates? I moved from a condo to a house. The stairs are hard for me and I try to minimize the amounts of time I go up and down them. I miss my condo, it was more manageable being all one level and small, but there is now a ridiculous special assessment on it and it's turning into a money pit that I can't even sell to get rid of.

What about a tiny home or a mobile home or something of the like?

Take care <3

 

[Mouse girl]

Hi @Juanita Vee . Thank you for asking about me. I've been looking and tried to get a small house but someone else got it. Looking is just so hard on me physically and emotionally. It's very hard for anyone to get a home in so cal right now. Praying i will find a nice, safe place. I just can't move somewhere new all alone. i need help and i have one friend here helping me.

I'm so sorry about the condo situation. Can you rent out the condo? Or are just just stuck with it? I can imagine the stairs would make things so hard.

I have thought of a moble home if i can't find a home. They are still pricey here if they are in a nice area and in fire zones but so are alot of the homes availible.

So, praying that something will eventually turn up for me. And i hope i can handle all of this. It's honestly way too much for me. I'm having a hard time. I'm scared.

 

[maddietod]

I sold my house 3 years ago and moved into a rental townhouse, to downsize and to be close to some of my kids. This place is half the size of my old house, but still bigger than I want. I can manage the stairs fine, but there will come a day when I can't get up that one high first step from the sidewalk, and I'll move. But moving into another rental will be relatively quick and easy, so I don't stress about it. I'm a big fan of no-stress.

 

[Juanita Vee]

Renting won't help cover costs and I can't do any extra work involved in that.

What if you find a home that has more than one story, is it possible to just live on one level and not have to do stairs?

Realtor websites often have notifications they can send you if you set up a profile on their system and they know you're looking for a 1-bedroom condo in downtown Edmonton, for example, and one becomes listed.

I'm glad you have a friend helping you, that really makes a big difference. Am praying you find the right place and that it is, like maddietod said, no stress.

 

[Mouse girl]

@Juanita Vee I get it about the costs and such. I'm sorry about that. condos can be so tricky it seems. I'm glad you are living with your parents. That is the best thing and that you are safe there.

I"m working with a realtor. I tried to get a house this weekend in an area that is not near my old place but is more affordable. I thought it could really be nice for me. I had the best offer and gave them everything the seller wanted and more but the seller wanted to sell it to a real estate agent. Her realtor had no idea why and had tried to talk her into taking my offer. My realtor and I worked really hard and done fast. It's so disheartening and I'm so sick, I am very scared. I can barely function and i need to find a place. I've never been so scared and stressed and depressed and down. I'm so scared and sad.

 

[Juanita Vee]

I'm so sorry to hear mouse girl. I hope you get a place soon and that it is worth every tear and heartache you've had to endure. Keep on going, it will happen! And then you can rest and rest and rest!

 

[Mouse girl]

thank you. i'm so sick. I'm so scared. I just don't know if i will make it. i can't really rest properly and i dont' know if i've ever been so sick. i can't believe people pushed me to sell knowing i am so sick. i mean, it's hard to believe i was so out of my mind, i even thought about moving, but seriously, one person, someone should have said something. i even wrote to so many friends with ME saying i was worried i might be making a big mistake and how sick was just trying to decide. someone should have said something, but either they said nothing or mhy healthy friends and that crazy therapist who did my head in, pushed me to sell and now, i am just having the hardest time in my life.

 

[Mary]

@Mouse girl - I learned a long time ago that worry only makes things that much harder - it prevents me from seeing clearly and making good decisions. You were very stressed when you sold your house and made a decision you wish you hadn't. You're very stressed now and it's very hard to make good decisions when we're stressed.

I don't think you can see your options clearly - e.g., you have money to buy a house - that's HUGE! Yes, it's not easy finding the house you want, but it's not easy for anyone. But at least you have the most important thing, which is money to buy one. I guess I'd like to urge you to focus on what you do have and what you can do, and not on what you can't do, which just wastes energy.

I think it would be helpful to calm down. I know, easier said than done - but there are ways to do it - meditation, relaxation tapes, breathing exercises (e.g., see Box (4-sided) breathing: activate parasympathetic NS, lower BP, help with sleep | Phoenix Rising ME/CFS Forums )

I remember when I first meditated. I was astonished to find out that it was possible to stop thinking. I literally never had done that before - my brain was always going, and I thought that was the way we were supposed to be. And it was so soothing to calm my brain, at least for a little while. I can't recommend it enough.

Also, have you ever tried inositol? It's generally considered one of the B vitamins though it's not a vitamin. It can be very helpful with stress: 5 Evidence-Based Health Benefits of Inositol (healthline.com) It helped me with sleep when I first took it. One of my sisters used to be constantly stressed about her job - I recommended she try inositol and it calmed her down almost immediately. She liked it so much she recommended to a friend where she worked who was similarly stressed. I think she was taking 2 a day of these: Now Foods, Inositol Capsules, 500 mg, 100 Veg Capsules - iHerb

I think you may be in a better position than you think you are -

 

[Mouse girl]

thanks @Mary . Yes, very hard to calm down with all I have gone through and going through but it would be good if I could do it. Will try, have been trying. I will check out the vit. Thanks for the ideas, i have tried breathing and grounding stuff and meditation doesn't seem to work as i'm so stressed. i did try some chanting too. I did order some of the isotol, i got another brand but will try it. i've been trying different vits since i've had so much anxiety and loss and stress.

Well, the thing with affording a house where i live is that in just a few months i can no longer afford a home in an area i know and i'm so worried as it's so hard to get a home right now since all homes have mulitple offers way over asking and the prices keep going up every few weeks, so i may not be able to afford anything in a safe area very soon. homes sell in just a few days and it's hard to get in to view them and then you have to come up with an offer right away. i've never done anything like this and have no help. i'm not sure i can do all the paperwork or comprehend everything i'm so sick. it's hard to just go online and look and then go see them and then go through all the stress and then not get the homes over and over again. all the acitvity ad stress ongoing is making me so sick, it's scarey. i need help now to just do errands and i only have one friend who can help me once a week. it's just making life so hard. i need to live where he can help me. i need to be at home, resting, happy with my trees and my area, safe and cozy. and it's all gone. i felt my dad at my home and now he's gone.

i'm far from the life i knew and had set up so it's hard for me to even find my way around if i can get out. it's just a scarey situation. thank you for understanding about selling my house. i miss it so much, i miss my old life that i loved so much. it's very hard. full of grief for my dad and my old life. i'm trying so hard to get a home, it's just been so very hard in this market, hard for anyone to do it let alone someone so sick with no experience and so full of grief, sadness and real concern for how i will survive being so ill and having no one but the one friend to help. i'm sorry. i'm really full of despair and worry and this year has just been getting worse and worse with more activity, stress and worse health so i'm scared. my friend can't take care of me full time.

 

[Mouse girl]

one thing to add. Last time i turned off my worry, and listened to all these people around me who i thought were friends, i ended up turning off my brain and making a grave mistake that was catastrophic effect on my life. took away my life, my home, my health, my entire well made, well loved life and all my memories that warmed me in my home. i had worries about moving and i let others tell me it would be ok.

 

[andyguitar]

thank you for understanding about selling my house.

This is a bit of a long shot, but do you know if the people who bought your house are happy there? Because if they dont like it maybe they would sell it back to you. Or is that impossible.

 

[Mouse girl]

Well, they did love it. It is a rare find and they were lucky to find it. They also remodeled it and were going to build something in the back. That house would be worth three or four times what i sold it for, could never afford it and they wouldn't sell. Prices have gone up so much out here, it's insane. I didn't know that my area was sought after and didn't get how valuable and my friends who pushed me to sell should have known since they said they knew real estate.

And it's not my home anymore, i can't even think what they did to the backyard. it's gone. it kills me that it's gone. that home as it was was just my heart and soul as it was. i was going to fix it up how i wanted which would have been simple but friend and therapist tried to talk me out of remodeling and didn't help me deal with my fear of my brother, they just didn't think of what was good for me at all.

I am lucky i had it at all. I miss my dad so much. I saw him everywhere there and talked to him about the new animal sightings or what was going on in the nieghborhood or with the cats. he doesn't know this place and would be so mad at me for selling. or so sad maybe. i'm so sad. i had all my memories of my family there, my mom, other relatives, friends. oh, all that familiar was so important to me especially during stressful times like now. very hard loss. trying to get through, hoping to survive. very ill. getting worse and worse.

 

[Tammy]

Have you thought at all about renting instead of buying? I always thought buying would be the obvious choice as far as investment goes but with CFS limitations, if something breaks down you have to have the money to hire someone to fix or enough money to replace an appliance, roof, yard upkeep etc., whereas, with renting most of the time all that is taken care of by landlord. Just a passing thought.

 

[Mouse girl]

I'm renting now and i don't like it. plus with renting, you can have it raised until you can't afford it or they may want to sell the place or whatever. too much uncertainty. as long as i can try and get a place of my own, i will do that. it's so hard because i didn't need to be in this situation. i loved my old home. very odd thing that happened and i ended up in this situtation. it's really made me to so sick. trying to get through. like everyone during hard times. thanks for the suggestions. diffferent things work for different people. i think i got advice from people who thougth about what they would do not what was good for me and i was just too freaked out with ptsd and greif to think strainght. so not like me but can't fix the past so trying to move forward. thanks hon.