i thought id update u guys cause im a little bummed out and felt like sharing.
everything was going great for the last while with the caregiver. she was kind, thoughtful and took a lot of chores off my plate so i could focus on recovering and working on projects and things. i dont drive and she was helping me get around to errands and grocery shop which made my life so much easier. its sucks taking the bus to the grocery store and the driver apps are pretty pricey
anyway i spent the first few weeks "training" her and getting to know her and i consider her a friend at this point. we even went out for a drink together after work a couple times when i felt up for it.
Ive started relying on her the last month and was so happy with how thing were going. just this last week i started fully trusting her in my room on her own and with my more personal/delicate chores.
Then today a few hours after leaving she calls and quits

she says its for health reasons and shes going to the hospital as we speak. she didnt give me more detail she just apologized a few times and didnt give further explanation.
Im dealing with alot of stuff at the moment in addition to my health things and really didnt need this right now. i feel like ive lost a friend as well as a valuable resource. not to mention i am worried about her well being and hope she is doing better soon, i wish there was something i could do for her but the way she was talking i got the vibe she didnt want to involve me. she made it sound like i wouldnt be seeing her again even when i offered to just meet socially when she feels up for it in the future.
not really sure what im gonna do about all this. i was feeling pretty overwhelmed and overworked even with her help and am barely managing to stop myself from crashing as it is. i feel like if i dont get some help soon either my body or my responsibilities are gonna crash hard and fast.
I dont really have the energy right now to build trust and negotiate with a new person even if i did manage to find someone right away.
right now im thinking about whether i should disregard my responsibilities and rest or push through it and crash

(
i may try to look for another person to fill her place but i dont think it will be easy. i only got 3 responses to my CL add last time and 1 of them was a guy saying im crazy for expecting someone to help in my price range .
anyway not feeling so great sorry for rant tired myself out dont wanna reread it sorry if it reads bad
Thanks guys!@