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A treatment that helps me tremendously

Johannes

Senior Member
Messages
327
I tried eating sugar several times for this anxiety, which I would also call high mental stress. I found out that it helps only if it causes my body to produce hormones that cause happynes or good feelings. I found better help from other things that produce more of these hormones such as comforting words from my friend, and helping a stranger. I pet hugging would also do the trick. Why? Because when my wife was still with me, these symptoms were a lot less. She didn't need to hug me but just be there for me and close to me, and it helped. The same thing happened to me when my friend moved to live with me on January. But now that I am here in Spain alone, I can't feel the presence, and the symptoms are worse.

I know drinking alcohol did help but I haven't drunk for 11 days, and I won't drink for a long long time.

But the fact still is that if I don't eat protein containing food every 3 to 4 hours, I feel lousy.
 
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Nord Wolf

The Northman
Messages
594
Location
New England
My wife passed away last night. 😪 Her heart failed. I miss her so much!
Fucking hell man. Dealing with vision loss, the waiting for new visual aid tech, learning how to navigate and use it, struggling through a prolonged winter, getting sick twice since December… etc, I didn’t even find this news until now. Words can’t express the sympathies. I know you and I are near the same age, and cannot even fathom your loss. I’m sorry your year began that way and I’m not surprised your health as been extra challenging ever since.

Just a stray idea for you… I recently started using this device for vagus nerve health. It has settings for stress, anxiety, burnout, sleep, and pain. I notice using it multiple times a day makes a difference in both insomnia and nervous system burnout. I have a friend who got it last year and uses the burnout setting for grief and claims positive results.

Pulsetto

https://pulsetto.tech

Not any guarantee it would help with anything for you, of course, just a random idea.

I do miss the sun. We have had four major storms in the past 4 weeks. The 4th one is ending tonight. It was yet another blizzard that dropped 2.5 feet (76 cm) of snow and we lost electricity for 20 hours yesterday. A week ago, we had another storm that dropped 27 inches (69 cm) of snow. The week before that we got hit with 18 inches (45 cm). And the week prior to that one, 16 inches (40 cm) of snow fell. I want to sit in the sun and feel the warmth of spring already.
 

Johannes

Senior Member
Messages
327
"Fucking hell man. Dealing with vision loss, the waiting for new visual aid tech, learning how to navigate and use it, struggling through a prolonged winter, getting sick twice since December… etc, I didn’t even find this news until now."

Sorry to hear about your struggles @Nord Wolf !

"Words can’t express the sympathies. I know you and I are near the same age, and cannot even fathom your loss. I’m sorry your year began that way and I’m not surprised your health as been extra challenging ever since."

Thank you! It has been tough. But only at the end of last week I got rid of my stress and anxiety. My depression is almost gone. I feel it coming back every now and then. The sun has finally done its job 🙂 I still have some memory problems and problems with my muscle recovery after walking more than 3km per day. And I don't exactly feel pleasure normally, from food, or other. But I do feel happyness every now and then. I am still a bit tired.

I have done most of my greaving. So soon, some might say? I still miss my wife a lot but as my positive feelings happen at the same time, it is hard to be sad. And my cognitive functions are not exactly healed yet.

I had a good marriage. All good memories. Nothing to regret. We loved each others dearly. And she was the best for me. We were a match in every way. When I go back home, I will take her ashes to a forrest, where she wanted to have her final resting place, by the sea.

"Just a stray idea for you… I recently started using this device for vagus nerve health. It has settings for stress, anxiety, burnout, sleep, and pain. I notice using it multiple times a day makes a difference in both insomnia and nervous system burnout. I have a friend who got it last year and uses the burnout setting for grief and claims positive results."

Thanks for a tip. I tried similar piece of equipment and it didn't work for me.

"I do miss the sun. We have had four major storms in the past 4 weeks. The 4th one is ending tonight. It was yet another blizzard that dropped 2.5 feet (76 cm) of snow and we lost electricity for 20 hours yesterday. A week ago, we had another storm that dropped 27 inches (69 cm) of snow. The week before that we got hit with 18 inches (45 cm). And the week prior to that one, 16 inches (40 cm) of snow fell. I want to sit in the sun and feel the warmth of spring already."

wow! So much snow! In Finland, where I live, it is some 5 to 6 degrees Celsius day time. The snow is gone. But the trees are still not green.

Here is a picture taken from my terrace at Spain.
 

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Johannes

Senior Member
Messages
327
Something happened the 10th of Aprill, when my fried and her daughter arrived. I was affraid that I would be so very tired after spending time with them daily and sightseeing the country but I am only slightly tired after walking 6 to 9 kilometers per day and driving car daily for couple of hours for a week. My bowel isn't iflammated after eating food in restaurants. I can't explain why I am feeling as well as I normally feel at my best on August. My ques is that my loving friends have positive effects on me and my psychological stress and my being so much sunbathing during the last year or so. Also the psychological stress that I had concerning my wife's sickness is gone. I had it for four years. And some of the stress caused by my wifes death is gone.

I can't explain this otherwise. I feel healthier than ever since 2011 I got sick.
 

Johannes

Senior Member
Messages
327
Back at home. It seems that some 6 to 9 kilometers day was too much but I think I can easily walk some 3 to 4 km a day and do cooking and shopping. I am recovering quite fast from the last two weeks. I am now at my best summer condition and summer in Finland is about to start.
 

Johannes

Senior Member
Messages
327
The sun has been shining only for a week or so, since I came from Spain. It has been quite cold in Finland. But for the last five days I have been sunbathing. But I have done too much. Lots of work in the garden. So I have been very tired. But now I am resting for a longer period of time. It shouldn't take more than four days to feel OK. I can already feel that sunshine helps.
 

Johannes

Senior Member
Messages
327
I have been so quiet because I have been quite exhausted. I have tried to find a balance for my life after my wife's death. My wife did so much to help me. My friend who moved into my house to help me is causing me challenges because of social interaction that causes me fatigue. We talk too much. And as much as we like to talk, both of us are experiencing that it causes too much fatigue. Her daughter is very lively and that too is having the same effect on us. It makes us tired. She ofcourse chooses her daughter over me, so many time I just have to be quiet so that I don't cause her fatigue. It is unclear what her diagnosis is. Doctors don't yet know. To me it looks like maybe EDS/CFS plus something else.

Now that I had had so much sunshine I thought I could do more. So I have cooked a dinner for us daily but that seems to be too much. Also I have done too much work at the backyard.

And sailing is now causing me troubles. Although my friend is eager to participate all the things onboard, she doesn't yet know much about sailing at the archipelago. In addition to everything I did before at the sea, I now have to steer my boat, navigate it and read the sea charts. And listen to her daughers constant talking. That all made me very tired only after two nights at the sea. After five days we came home exhausted. My friend also became very tired of our sailing. She has now been laying in her bed for the last week. Me too on my on bed.

All this has made me quite tired. I now know that I have to sell my boat next year, unless she learns to help me more at the sea. Also, I am about to stop making dinners for us.

Another problem is that it is more expencive to live in this house than I thought. I may have to sell it and move to my brothers new house that will be ready at the end of next year. My 84yrs old father is moving in too. I like the idea.

Althoug I have become to like my friend and living with her and her daughter, this arrangement makes us both too ill. We like each others. Well, maybe I am a bit atracted to her too. But this relationship can not work. It makes us both very tired.
 
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