• Welcome to Phoenix Rising!

    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of and finding treatments for complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia, long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

    To become a member, simply click the Register button at the top right.

A Brutally Honest Thread? * Possibly Not for the Faint of Heart

HowToEscape?

Senior Member
Messages
626
It is a brutal condition to be in, especially if you have not already completed your tasks in life, and cant just drift along watching it pass.

Once in a while I get very tired of trying to put on an acceptable face, and want to state the truth about it. But I can only do that on the Internet, doing that in person drives people away with considerable force.
 

hmnr asg

Senior Member
Messages
561
...doing that in person drives people away with considerable force.
Exactly, every single time i thought i could trust someone and tell them about this, i ended up driving them away very quickly. The people who remained thought of me as a whack job and a wreck or gossiped behind my back that im a head case.
I feel bad for those of us who are too idealistic to give up the notion that you can trust people with your illness. Now I lie to people and i say i have migraines :D
Lie lie and more lies! lying is your friend.
Whoever said dont lie didnt have CFS.
 

HowToEscape?

Senior Member
Messages
626
Exactly, every single time i thought i could trust someone and tell them about this, i ended up driving them away very quickly. The people who remained thought of me as a whack job and a wreck or gossiped behind my back that im a head case.
I feel bad for those of us who are too idealistic to give up the notion that you can trust people with your illness. Now I lie to people and i say i have migraines :D
Lie lie and more lies! lying is your friend.
Whoever said dont lie didnt have CFS.

Well, now you know who were fake friends. Unfortunately, sometimes a pleasant illusion is better than knowing the truth.
 

AngelM

Senior Member
Messages
150
Location
Oklahoma City
I feel like each of us could probably write an essay about this concept in the film, and it’s relation to CFS… would be very interested to hear what people have to say…

“You know, hope is a mistake. If you can’t fix what’s broken, you’ll go insane”.

My interpretation of the dialogue may differ from that of others. I see it as meaning Acceptance not in the sense of giving up or becoming a victim of circumstances, but recognizing the difference between what you can change in your life, and what you cannot. Very Alcoholics Anonymous. And people with more knowledge of the 12 Steps than I would be better able to explain the concept. I think society has taught us that “acceptance” means weakness, when the truth is (in my opinion) that “denial” is the opposite of “acceptance.” And surely we can all agree that living in denial is an unhealthy coping mechanism, primarily because it keeps us stuck where we are.

Under the definition of “acceptance” as recognizing what you cannot change, “hope” can be a mistake—because it becomes “false hope.” Trying to fix something that can’t be fixed—or having false hope is like constantly denying human mortality—“you’ll go insane.” I believe in the context of the movie, that is the very profound message.
 

David Jackson

Senior Member
Messages
195
Yeah, @AngelM, I totally see what you mean, but I'm starting to wonder whether it's really that simple for us...

recognizing the difference between what you can change in your life, and what you cannot.

I just think that with us, and our health (or at least mine), it's not so clear what cannot be changed. If I were to accept that I might never again have comparable energy levels to a normal person, just because sometimes it feels that way, I might be closing the door on a whole bunch of improvement that I could have otherwise made... that's kinda the way I'm starting to think about it now... gunning for the full recovery, that is.

Maybe my comparison of CFS to the post-apocolyptic world of Mad Max was not as good as I initially thought... I mean their whole world was a nuclear wasteland... but even they managed to turn things around for themselves, going back and capturing the citadel, their Green Place.

And, yeah, guys, I watched that movie, Heat, but didn't think it was all that great. It was OK, but I certainly think there's better out there, don't you reckon?
 

ahmo

Senior Member
Messages
4,805
Location
Northcoast NSW, Australia
Addition: I posted earlier about giving up hope and will. But didn't give a context. I tried many things, unsuccessfully, for my first 8 years of illness. Then, 2012, I stumbled onto the right path. I changed diet, detoxxed, corrected methylation. I finally reached a state I could live with, much better quality of life. Since then I've seen no protocol or information that would suggest I could get further improvement. And so, in accordance w/ my broader understanding of the world, I've relaxed (as much as possible) into a new acceptance of my condition. I guess it comes under the category of change what you can, and accept what can't be changed. cheers.:balanced::balloons:
 

AngelM

Senior Member
Messages
150
Location
Oklahoma City
,I changed diet, detoxxed, corrected methylation.

You mention detoxing. Can you tell me a good way to go about it? Or is there something on this site that would help? I am a little afraid of trying it because of “gut issues.” I work hard to keep my IBS (or whatever it is) under control. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t take much to set it off. And once the pain begins, I am “off to the races.” Takes weeks to get it under control again. Is detoxing gentle or harsh?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

AngelM

Senior Member
Messages
150
Location
Oklahoma City
RE: my post above.
I apologize for the rather stupid comment about detoxing. When I see the word “detoxing” I think of those products on the shelves like “Colon Cleanse”— For some reason I never think of methylation as “detoxing” but, of course, that is exactly what it is.
 

ljimbo423

Senior Member
Messages
4,705
Location
United States, New Hampshire
RE: my post above.
I apologize for the rather stupid comment about detoxing. When I see the word “detoxing” I think of those products on the shelves like “Colon Cleanse”— For some reason I never think of methylation as “detoxing” but, of course, that is exactly what it is.

There are also very gentle herbs like dandelion root that are very effective detoxing herbs but also very gentle at low doses. You can buy it as a tea, in capsules or powdered extracts.

I found improving methylation gave me brutal detox symptoms when I first tried it, hence my suggestion above.:)
 
Messages
4
Addition: I posted earlier about giving up hope and will. But didn't give a context. I tried many things, unsuccessfully, for my first 8 years of illness. Then, 2012, I stumbled onto the right path. I changed diet, detoxxed, corrected methylation. I finally reached a state I could live with, much better quality of life. Since then I've seen no protocol or information that would suggest I could get further improvement. And so, in accordance w/ my broader understanding of the world, I've relaxed (as much as possible) into a new acceptance of my condition. I guess it comes under the category of change what you can, and accept what can't be changed. cheers.:balanced::balloons:
Do you now ever coach people or help with their methylation issues?
 

frozenborderline

Senior Member
Messages
4,405
Not to turn this into a movie thread but "Heat" (1995) is one that had me break a sweat the first time I saw the bank job.
Both Heat and Fury Road are worth multiple viewings, Heat for the plot, Fury road for the scenery.
And Equalizer (Denzel Washington), of which the sequel is out soon.
Heat is a fucking great movie. I'm not very well-educated in film and noirs but the pacing and acting and everything about it is amazing.

I tend to lack the energy to watch movies often but in terms of action films I liked "Drive" with Ryan Gosling--also set in LA, and for more LA noir, the second season of true detective
 

outdamnspot

Senior Member
Messages
924
Heat is a fucking great movie. I'm not very well-educated in film and noirs but the pacing and acting and everything about it is amazing.

I tend to lack the energy to watch movies often but in terms of action films I liked "Drive" with Ryan Gosling--also set in LA, and for more LA noir, the second season of true detective

The second season of TD was seriously underrated ..
 

frozenborderline

Senior Member
Messages
4,405
The second season of TD was seriously underrated ..
Yeah people like the first season b/c it's got super stylized badass existentialist detective... and yeah it was good, but second season has very real, emotionally intense acting, and I liked the setting.
 

frozenborderline

Senior Member
Messages
4,405
As far as LA noir goes, I just watched "Nightcrawler" with Jake Gyllenhaal, and I really can't recommend it enough. very eerie, messed up movie about the profession of "stringers"
 

sb4

Senior Member
Messages
1,659
Location
United Kingdom
I too liked the second season of true detectives as much as the first. I think many people wrote it off because it was a slow burner and I guess wasn't as cool as the first. Shame there won't be a season 3.
 

frozenborderline

Senior Member
Messages
4,405
I too liked the second season of true detectives as much as the first. I think many people wrote it off because it was a slow burner and I guess wasn't as cool as the first. Shame there won't be a season 3.
there is a season 3 planned, set in the Ozarks
 

Judee

Psalm 46:1-3
Messages
4,488
Location
Great Lakes
“You know, hope is a mistake. If you can’t fix what’s broken, you’ll go insane”.

The next day he stops them all just as the begin to ride out across the salt, makes them see that the green place is really back the way they came - something they already knew - and, although it would be a very difficult journey, that was the only way they’d get the redemption they were looking for.

I haven't seen the movie. I don't watch a lot of television but this reminds me of a story in the book Return with Honor by Capt Scott O'Grady where he is talking about survival and how some people stick it out and survive through months or even years in the worst of situations while others check out when they are ridiculously close (even just hours away) from being rescued. These stories helped him to survive when he was shot down over Bosnia and until he was rescued.

I have to think that we are so very close to the solution to all this mess and since we cannot know or see into the future, it just makes sense to try and stick it out a little longer.
 
Last edited:

YippeeKi YOW !!

Senior Member
Messages
16,047
Location
Second star to the right ...
Lie lie and more lies! lying is your friend.
Whoever said dont lie didnt have CFS.
My husband's favorite saying: It's the lie, not the dog, that's man's best friend.

I used to shake my head in wonder over his cynicism :rolleyes:, what with his wide, sea-green/blue mid-western eyes and all.

Not any more . Have lost two of my oldest friends to the truth, and others have become notable by their absence, at least until I can start singing my happy little chirpy cricket song again. Frack 'em :mad:.

Tends to sour the disposition :meh:, which is one of the many reasons that I value this site so much. Less pretense, waaaay less pretend :woot::thumbsup:.