heavy eyes

"every week I find myself continually caught in a wave of health bs I barely have any control over" -> so true, i could write songs about this!

how does it help your eyes? i got eye problems my self right now, kinda desperate wanna something which helps.

If I could do music I probably wouldn't have this condition but listening to really angry sludge metal or grindcore helps blow some steam. The sarcosine made them a little less heavy and achy but that was it, it bounced back rather quickly after the dose and on the rebound it was worse. I can't find any real pattern to the heavy and strained eyes thing or anything that immediately relieves it besides things I should not do which is what cutting down on dopamine feedback loop I had working before a bit better made me crave as it seems like it's the only way my brain can function well and when this is gone I just crash and can't do anything. In fact this is probably why when I got PFS ( I got it from saw palmetto) it got so bad for me because there is nothing really supporting this one pathway keeping my brain going. So when rewarding, dopamine chaining cascade was no longer working at all my brain just shut down altogether landing me in severe territory housebound besides occasional trips to the store that used all the energy I had.

Currently I'm trying to piece together a couple peoples theories on the condition (conditions in the PFS/PSSD sphere) and how it relates to how bad this got for me. Though this may not apply to everyone here even though we likely have something going wrong in the glutamate NMDAr system which is what it was based on and why as what I'm about to explain on the rebound helped revert what happened to the pre-sarcosine dose state I was in. Because my cravings got so bad when the sarcosine cut me down I relapsed on kratom and on the rebound I got back to where I was before the sarcosine. I just had to ride out yesterday which was absolutely terrible as it wasn't strong enough leaving me in a psuedo-withdrawal state all day but this morning I felt better. Better physically and at a baseline mentally but I still have the same cognitive barriers. I tried to read this morning but got lost fairly quickly in the text, I couldn't complete the other work on connecting the theories I was going to for days now, and like usual I have a little window in the morning and in the evening to do things like that with. I notice later at night reading is easier for me though as well as watching shows and listening to music. But see that's the thing, I don't want to spend the daily windows working, I want to enjoy myself but if I don't keep putting in the work I'll never make any progress.

I may go back to drinking kava as its the lesser of all substance evils for me personally, gives me enough of a brush on the opioid receptors for me to function as well as the cannabinoid receptors. There's also no chance of severe addiction and jumping off is much easier. I really wish I had another way to make my brain work closer to normally for longer periods of time. It doesn't matter what I do though because I still have the same PEM barriers, substances just give me more window time and functionality in general in between. If I do the same thing for the same amounts of time I'll still take the same hits but the physically extending PEM symptoms won't hit as hard.