bitter sweet

I have returned after a (hopefully brief, time is a blur) break from this place as things got rough for me. What I have taken out of recent times though is that there is from my short kratom relapse that in my case there is a clear opioid receptor splash effect rebound recovery that gets more flatlined the further sensitized I get. In fact I'm many days off and still have retained feelings of drive and focus as well as desires back to enjoy things. Considering the sustainable opioid receptor rebound effect I think it was good that I avoided LDN as that probably would have destroyed all progress I made so far. So there was from the stumble an actual improvement. I also like I detailed in the "strange dietary changes" topic have had long range improvements that were set back a bit by last weekend when I went out to eat indicating something else about what is going on.

Today was the third day post eating like crap that night and I feel pretty flu-y right now, just that general strange drunkness feeling. I'm cognitive under it but it's in the way of everything going on, what is interesting is I'll sometimes have little windows where it will lighten up a bit post reaction to something so it's definitely an ongoing neuroinflammation thing. I also have a bit of obnoxious feverish warm feelings in my face which have been on and off in intensity all day. Tonight I will make dinner as I'm seeing how I'll react to the most bare bones meal I can make and if it improves or worsens my current state then working from there. I feel I'm getting closer in being able to specifically target what is going on but I still don't entirely know what is going on here yet.