When people ask you to dinner

rockymountainmama

rockymountainmama

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23
Location
New Mexico
Timaca

Timaca

Senior Member
Messages
792
Along the lines of dinner, I've discovered that I have multiple food intolerance issues, so when I go out with people or to their homes I just bring my food with me. That way I have what is safe to eat. And they understand if I can't make it due to feeling poorly....but honestly (knock on wood and thanks be to God) those days are much less than they used to be....
 
lafarfelue

lafarfelue

Senior Member
Messages
433
Location
Australia
I've started defaulting to the same response too.

No. No, sorry. No, I'm too sick. No, I'm too unreliable. No, I'd love to, but... no.

But honestly, once I decided that my default is making no plans/ turning down invitations... It's just so much easier and less stressful to continue with daily life, rather than be burdened with the anxiety, sadness, grief, anger etc (and so on and so forth ad infinitum) that comes along with trying to be open to Doing Things (and then failing). And of course, that default position doesn't mean it's 100% exclusive of activities... just that that is my standard response to Doing Things. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


That's a good little piece in the NY Times. Thanks for sharing. :)
 
DoggerFisher

DoggerFisher

Senior Member
Messages
152
it is so much EASIER not to. last time I got better was by becoming a hermit, but it's definitely not my natural inclination, i'm usually the host and the bringer together and it's one of the toughest things to give up and really hard to manage the fallout - this relapse have lost yet another friend who just had a paddy as I hurt her feelings by "not wanting to see her anymore". I don't have enough energy to fix the situation. This is a massive friendship sieve and only the biggest chunkiest people stay in it - usually those who have some similar experience of being "useless to the world" I find
 
A

Alvin2

The good news is patients don't die the bad news..
Messages
3,087
I sometimes force myself to go, a full, tasty meal is a luxury :redface:
I pay for it mind you, but its not like i could afford such a meal in preparation energy or cash.

I have almost no friends so its not a matter of not wanting to talk about ME, so those who invite me know how unreliable and burned i am.
 
Hell...Hath...No...Fury..

Hell...Hath...No...Fury..

Senior Member
Messages
1,082
Location
UK
DoggerFisher said:
This is a massive friendship sieve and only the biggest chunkiest people stay in it - usually those who have some similar experience of being "useless to the world" I find
Click to expand...

I LOVE that analogy :rofl: for me the only chunky people I have left in my sieve are the ones who are self absorbed and had their empathy surgically removed during childhood.

They're quite hideous beings but on the plus side, I don't have to feel guilty for being ill like I would, dealing with a normal person with feelings.

Every cloud... :whistle:
 
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