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What type of person were you prior to falling ill

What type of person were you prior to falling ill

  • Highly active and pushed myself

    Votes: 45 60.8%
  • More motivated than average

    Votes: 19 25.7%
  • Rode smoothly in that 9-5 lifestyle

    Votes: 4 5.4%
  • More laid back than most because that's my vibe

    Votes: 6 8.1%
  • My life was basically a drum circle

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    74

crypt0cu1t

IG: @crypt0cu1t
Messages
599
Location
California
Wondering if there is a trend in those of us who end up here

I'll add another part to it- for those who pushed themselves, do you think it was in a healthy way?
I was fairly active prior to sickness into weight lifting, airsoft, paintball, BMX and MMA but I'm pretty sure I've already told you all that. I always wondered what the correlation is between personality types.
 

Aerose91

Senior Member
Messages
1,401
I think pretty much along the lines of what @Jyoti said. We had all the factors in place, some of us were likely already riding a little under a baseline and our activity may have put it over the top. I tend to put myself in that category- I knew I was pushing myself way too hard but I never thought chronic disease would be the end result. And, to be honest, I liked it.
 

Jyoti

Senior Member
Messages
3,379
Shortly before I got sick, I was hiking up this very long and steep hill with my now ex, then husband, and as always I was pushing to go as fast as I could, get the most exercise out of it, just trying to bite into it. I did this hike pretty regularly and I liked to do it fast, to get to the top winded and feeling like I gave it my all. My ex was actually walking behind me at a much more leisurely pace, but we were talking a little about output.

He told me he liked to keep his at about 85%. I was baffled. I mean....it was pretty clear this was in line with how he lives but I had never thought about it in those terms. And it was just such a different way to live than the one that was familiar to me (110%). We had about a block to go to the crest the hill, and he challenged me to race to the top.

Of course, he beat me easily. I made it to the top, but hadn't the extra energy to put on the speed. It was a graphic demonstration for me. And it makes sense--to me-- that when I was assailed by a couple of highly stressful life situations followed by a bad case of pneumonia, I didn't have what it took to right my ship, as it were. I don't know what caused my illness--could have been any number of things and more, but I have some suspicions and I think it is probably safe to say that the fact that I had been living outside my (healthy) envelope for most of my life didn't help much. But like @Aerose91, I liked it.
 

Aerose91

Senior Member
Messages
1,401
everything you just said there, @Jyoti, echoes how I lived. I had just passed the first tryouts for the show Ninja Warrior, I was in talks to become a stuntman and had just produced and released a high level, functional training program. I loved pushing myself but I realized two things:

I took confidence in my physical abilities because I had worked so hard to earn them and that made me want to keep evolving

I didn't really push myself mentally or spiritually. I had no fear doing the stuff that I did and it excited me. I lived in that excited, somewhat "on" state. However, just because I didn't fear the things I DID do doesn't mean I didn't have fears, they were just in a different plane. I, without realizing it, hadn't really approached some of my deepest fears and hesitations. One, because I didn't really know they were there and two, because I felt that my constantly trying to push through physical barriers was a healthy form of growth. It wasn't. My methods were off kilter. I sometimes wonder if that little tension I carried was an avoidance of something. This situation gives one plenty of time to reflect on that.

@Jyobi, if we recover let's go climb a mountain...….. at 85%
 

Dechi

Senior Member
Messages
1,454
This is a topic that has come up again and again since the beginning. The idea that sufferers of CFS are people who overworked themselves into illness is the origin of the derogatory term from the '80s of "Yuppie Flu." This kind of unfounded assumption has led to both society and the ill themselves blaming the sufferers for the disease. Here's a good essay on the topic: Why Attributing 'Type A' Personalities to Myalgic Encephalomyelitis Needs to Stop

I'd answer the question of "what type of person was I before I became ill" with: Healthy and active!

Maybe so (about the yuppie flu), but why do certain people become chronically ill after catching a viral infection, while others recover ? Could it possibly be because those who don’t recover had a frail immune system, due to years and years of pushing through and not listening to their body ?

I mean it has to make a difference. That’s what I think happened to me. Being riddled with anxiety since a very early age and living an incredibly stressful life and not sleeping much surely had a major consequence on my immune system. Then came the infection, and down I was.
 

YippeeKi YOW !!

Senior Member
Messages
16,047
Location
Second star to the right ...
@Dechi
Could it possibly be because those who don’t recover had a frail immune system, due to years and years of pushing through and not listening to their body ?
I mean it has to make a difference
I agree. I'm not sure to what extent and depth that contributes to this niggling little wood-boring beetle of a disease, but I'm almost certain there is a connection.


Like so many here, I pushed myself hard. I was in a tough, competitive business that required a multi-level and frequently antipodal skill-set, and those skills had to be well-honed. Some of them came to me naturally, some of them had to be painfully learned the hard way, and there was not much room for multiple failures.

There were other stressors, medical and emotional. A lot of stress and grief and loss.

And then ..... this.

I understand your angst, @Aerose91 .... you spent a lot of time, effort and energy honing your skill set, and seemed to be on an onward and upward path, and to be slammed to the mat with this is painfully hard. But something good is coming out of all this, tho it might not be what you expected from your life-plan.

Or you could suddenly and magically recover and train back into your former self. It's happened !!!
 

Jyoti

Senior Member
Messages
3,379
I look forward to that leisurely climb, @Aerose91!

It may be that we will never know why it is that we got sick, or at least not why we got sick while others who dealt with similar circumstances did not. And in some ways, this leaves us with both the wondering and questing for answers as well as the chance to know ourselves in new ways. Not welcome ways, of course, but what can you do? You can kick and scream (well, actually that is kind of big ask some days for many of us) or you can be where you are and just go where it is possible to go. I imagine a lot of us do both. Depends on the day for me.

And maybe one of the big things to contemplate is how we would live differently if we got the chance to have our former energy back. This is a tough one for me. I know I'd want to take on too much; it would be a real struggle to hold back. I have a lot of growth yet to do in that regard. I am sure you are engaged in loads of personal growth, @Aerose91 -- It is now time for your mental and spiritual growth to take center stage.

They say that Saturn is a great teacher, and Saturn brings the energy of limitation. Learning to live with limitation is so hard.... especially for some of us. But as one of my friends says: Obviously, you are taking the advanced course!

I hope so.

niggling little wood-boring beetle of a disease,
Brilliant!
 
Messages
30
I was a very normal teenager, optimistic, and LOVED to be active, running, long walks etc climbing mountains being one of my absolute fave things to do! Could not just sit around had to be doing something! But I don't think I pushed myself and I put my illness down to a very stressful experience just prior to getting sick (who knows if I'm right of course)
 

Stretched

Senior Member
Messages
705
Location
U.S. Atlanta
I was fairly active prior to sickness into weight lifting, airsoft, paintball, BMX and MMA but I'm pretty sure I've already told you all that. I always wondered what the correlation is between personality types.

I had two speeds pre-MECFS - wide open or stopped. I was into many non-team sports, also working out and ‘getting ahead’ in business and pursuing success. I was burned out when I contracted this illness, which I think was/is involved in the causation.

As to the more academic classified personality types, e.g Myer-Biggs 16 variants, I was and still am an INTP.
[FWIW, there are readily available, downloadable books, e.g. on Amazon on the formal classifications of studied personality types, a la industrial psychology. A Dr. A. J. Drenth (PhD)is a popular author in the field. Some of his books include self testing - ideal for a PWME who has time and is curious and introspective.]
 
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belize44

Senior Member
Messages
1,664
I was definitely an A personality! I did basic training in the USAR at age 19, trained to be a Medical Assistant the year after that, did activist work, then went back to school part time while raising children and working. I also made and sold homemade crafts, participated in church activities and helped with the local girl scout troop. Whew!
 

Rufous McKinney

Senior Member
Messages
13,377
I am very aware of my good fortune in having had a lot of time to live full out (I did it often ignoring the signals my body was kind enough to send me), and still, I am pretty sure that I am doing some pretty serious balancing of that now....

Thats very similar here, and I probably should have checked the first box. But highly active sounded physical and my version was mostly mental.

I pushed thru about 4 years, ending a career, that was a big mistake.

There is a whole theory that at least sometimes, we are people who raise their hand first. We fully participate. We are engaged. Others aren't.
 

Stretched

Senior Member
Messages
705
Location
U.S. Atlanta

hb8847

Senior Member
Messages
432
Location
United Kingdom
Just want to add to some of the comments here - my personal belief is that it's not necessarily due to being a Type A personality (in the sense of being highly ambitious, active, personable, etc) that is necessarily the cause for coming down with whatever illness has caused their SIBO.

That would just make no sense to me when clearly the cause of a lot of people's CFS issues are things like adverse gut health caused by antibiotic use or whatever, and there shouldn't be much correlation between that and a certain personality type, if any.

What I do think though is that Type A's might ignore early warning signs and push through, convinced some of their issues might have been in their mind and could simply be overcome by ignoring it and continuing with their active lifestyle, which ironically is the complete worst thing to do if the body is fighting off infection.

This was definitely the case for me at least. I was a high academic achiever at school and was very sporty with an active social life. I'm also a stereotypical male and had an aversion to going to the doctor unless I was basically about to die. So when over a number of years in my late teens and early 20's I developed depression and some pretty worrying cognitive symptoms I ignored it.

I think part of me didn't want to face the reality that there could be something seriously wrong with my health. I was also on track for a quintessentially "successful life", whatever that is, and had mentally prepared myself for that eventuality. And my whole sense of self worth was tied up in that need for achievement, so when it began to look like something might derail me from that course I was completely unable to accept it for fear of being a failure, until it was too late and I was left with no other choice.

It wouldn't surprise me if had I been less obsessed with this needing to be a high achiever I'd have been OK with seeking help sooner, and taking my health issues more seriously sooner, before it developed into something as serious as it ultimately did.

The second factor that I believe contributes to the high amount of Type A's on this forum is merely the fact that naturally driven and active people are going to be similarly driven to get themselves better. That means doing the research, finding the doctors, joining the forums, engaging in different treatments and ideas. I've no doubt there will be lots of Type B's (or less driven, lower achievers, whatever you want to call it) who have CFS, they're just not here, spending all their time researching and trying to fix it (which also isn't their fault, or even a negative - people are just different, and the world needs Type B's as much as it does Type A's).

Ultimately recovering from something like this will be the hardest thing most people ever have to go through in life and is probably a lot tougher than what the average person ever has or will ever experience. The mere fact you're on this forum engaging with people and actively trying to find a solution probably puts you in that top bracket of being driven and motivated.
 
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keepswimming

Senior Member
Messages
327
Location
UK
Interesting discussion @Aerose91

I was definitely the first kind of person. Nothing made me happier than being busy, and I loved my life. I had a career I loved, plus I was involved in volunteer work which I loved even more. I also care for my disabled husband.

I think too, its not always how much you do, it's the speed at which you do things - I'm a perfectionist, I always gave 110%. Time resting to me was time wasted, unless I got to the point I literally couldn't do more.

The last year before I got ill was an exceptionally stressful one. My husband became very ill with an anxiety disorder, and I was also faced with possible redundancy at work. I powered through, supporting my husband while juggling all my other activities and worries.

When I first got ill (with EBV) I tried to do what I've always done in the past when I got ill - I took painkillers and pushed through. I had a couple of days off work but then went back, thinking, I can't have more time off! I remember one day feeling dreadful but pushing myself to clean the house - then collapsing on the sofa afterwards.

The result in the short term was I nearly ended up in hospital with liver damage due to the EBV, and in the long term chronic fatigue.

I don't blame myself for getting ill. I don't view my lifestyle as the cause but I think it was probably a factor. But I was just living life in a way I loved - I don't feel guilty about that. I didn't know what would happen. I do wish I'd rested those first few weeks when I got ill. I wonder if that would have made a difference. But I don't dwell on it. I just didn't know any better.

I think one of the hardest things for me mentally has been to stop giving 110% - which is like losing myself, because it was such a part of my personality. Initially with my fatigue I would storm through an activity giving it all I'd got, and then crash. I'm learning I need to keep energy in reserve, that I need to do less even than I feel capable of in the moment - but its a struggle. I'm working on it.
 

Aerose91

Senior Member
Messages
1,401
Just want to add to some of the comments here - my personal belief is that it's not necessarily due to being a Type A personality (in the sense of being highly ambitious, active, personable, etc) that is necessarily the cause for coming down with whatever illness has caused their SIBO.

That would just make no sense to me when clearly the cause of a lot of people's CFS issues are things like adverse gut health caused by antibiotic use or whatever, and there shouldn't be much correlation between that and a certain personality type, if any.

What I do think though is that Type A's might ignore early warning signs and push through, convinced some of their issues might have been in their mind and could simply be overcome by ignoring it and continuing with their active lifestyle, which ironically is the complete worst thing to do if the body is fighting off infection.

This was definitely the case for me at least. I was a high academic achiever at school and was very sporty with an active social life. I'm also a stereotypical male and had an aversion to going to the doctor unless I was basically about to die. So when over a number of years in my late teens and early 20's I developed depression and some pretty worrying cognitive symptoms I ignored it.

I think part of me didn't want to face the reality that there could be something seriously wrong with my health. I was also on track for a quintessentially "successful life", whatever that is, and had mentally prepared myself for that eventuality. And my whole sense of self worth was tied up in that need for achievement, so when it began to look like something might derail me from that course I was completely unable to accept it for fear of being a failure, until it was too late and I was left with no other choice.

It wouldn't surprise me if had I been less obsessed with this needing to be a high achiever I'd have been OK with seeking help sooner, and taking my health issues more seriously sooner, before it developed into something as serious as it ultimately did.

The second factor that I believe contributes to the high amount of Type A's on this forum is merely the fact that naturally driven and active people are going to be similarly driven to get themselves better. That means doing the research, finding the doctors, joining the forums, engaging in different treatments and ideas. I've no doubt there will be lots of Type B's (or less driven, lower achievers, whatever you want to call it) who have CFS, they're just not here, spending all their time researching and trying to fix it (which also isn't their fault, or even a negative - people are just different, and the world needs Type B's as much as it does Type A's).

Ultimately recovering from something like this will be the hardest thing most people ever have to go through in life and is probably a lot tougher than what the average person ever has or will ever experience. The mere fact you're on this forum engaging with people and actively trying to find a solution probably puts you in that top bracket of being driven and motivated.

I think this is a good point and I agree with it. I did the same- ignored the early signs and kept pushing through because I couldn't fathom what I would do if I had to stop or slow down. I do wonder if gut health can fully cure this for most of us ... permanently. I dont see why not