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What do you say when...

Never Give Up

Collecting improvements, until there's a cure.
Messages
971
What do you say when you are out and run into people you know who ask how you are(if you're the one who is sick), or how your child is(if he's the one who is sick)? They just keep asking, and asking endless probing follow up questions.

I don't want to discuss it, it's too horrible. When my son actually manages to leave the house he doesn't want to discuss it with people either.

If they actually cared, wouldn't they drop a "thinking of you" note in the mail, or a meal at the door from time to time?

We dread running into people we know and haven't figured out how to handle it yet. What do you do? What do you say?
 

Dreambirdie

work in progress
Messages
5,569
Location
N. California
It is strange that they would ask endless probing questions. I've not had anyone do that to me in my 36 years with this disease. If they did, I would probably say something along the lines of what you said above: "We're dealing with a devastating neuro-immune disease and are not up for discussing it right now. If you would like to help out with meals and home care, then please call me at home." That ought to give them a reality check.
 

Mij

Messages
2,353
What do you say when you are out and run into people you know who ask how you are(if you're the one who is sick), or how your child is(if he's the one who is sick)? They just keep asking, and asking endless probing follow up questions.

I don't want to discuss it, it's too horrible. When my son actually manages to leave the house he doesn't want to discuss it with people either.

If they actually cared, wouldn't they drop a "thinking of you" note in the mail, or a meal at the door from time to time?

We dread running into people we know and haven't figured out how to handle it yet. What do you do? What do you say?

It depends, if you don't see them often or they're just chit chat friends, then I would say "I'm ok, how are you?". You don't have to tell them about your health do you? I try to avoid it. If they are people you are closer to and know they are genuinely concerned about how you're doing, then you can say that you haven't been too well and that you have a "medical condition". If they probe further and you feel comfortable you can tell them the truth and that you are having a difficult time getting out, cooking etc.

I've been sick for 23yrs and I try to avoid it altogether, I'm over needing people to drop notes, care etc,. but during the first 6-7yrs it was appreciated when old friends offered to help.
 

minkeygirl

But I Look So Good.
Messages
4,678
Location
Left Coast
Tough situation. I don't think well people have any idea how hard it is. I'd just say "we're managing" or something to that effect and move in. If they continue to probe tell them what you said here. I'd rather not discuss it. If they get huffy, tough for them.