Thanks Rufus, but some of his suggestions go against what modern traumatologists are teaching, and many who have suffered severe trauma, have amnesia over much of their childhoods, like me, where I only have snapshots and no continuing narrative.It is very important, when there has been severe trauma, to have tools in place for when one is retraumatized by flashbacks and going into dissociation.I ran into this philosophical commentary from Jungian psychologist Dr. Jordon Peterson, earlier today. It seems pertinent to this discussion.
"
Advice- Confront the Memory
Reduce The Probability Of Catastrophe
The parts of your psyche that bring back memories of being humiliated, for example, are part of an alarm system. It is the same alarm system that tells you unexplored territory is dangerous. If the consequence of being in a particular social situation is that you are being humiliated and undermined, then you have not mapped out that situation very well. While there may be all kinds of reasons as to why that is the case, it does not matter so far as the alarm system is concerned because it is fixated on the fact that the situation is not good for you — and you are unable to forget that.
Often, traumatic memories are repetitive; people cannot get them out of their minds. But if you try to avoid them, you ignore the alarm system, which in turn only causes the alarm to go off more. That does not work. The proper antidote to the desire for unconsciousness in the face of the vicissitudes of life is a conscious willingness to advance in the face of tragedy and malevolence.
Instead, confront the memory. Ask yourself exactly what happened and exactly what part you played. Is there anything you could have done earlier or differently? If you allow yourself to make contact with the rough edges of the natural and social world, the probability is rather high that you can learn incrementally how to map the world and your actions in it; the probability is much reduced that you will be pathologically prone to catastrophe and betrayal."
I have learned to trust my mind bring forth the things that it can deal with and my therapist respects that.
It is true, that we need to confront the memories, when they come up, with a therapist when necessary.
Asking yourself what you could have done differently is a problem area when one is still beating oneself up about things. We need to know that we did the best we could under the circumstances with the resources at our disposal.
|