The Ten Golden Rules of Argument
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xchocoholic
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Number 11. Live alone.
Number 12. Ask yourself if the other person's opinion or way of doing something really needs to change.
Tc .. x
Number 12. Ask yourself if the other person's opinion or way of doing something really needs to change.
Tc .. x
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#10 can be hard to do sometimes.
adreno
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Number 13. Don't talk.
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I find this easier said than done in the midst of an argument.
alex3619
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What kind of argument? There are different kinds. The rules are different for different kinds. I get the impression this is about interpersonal arguments - domestic argument, though not limited to spouses etc.
There is also political argument. A totally different beast.
Scientific argument - which today is often more political than scientific, so its several different scopes of argument.
Legal argument - which I only grasp enough to know when I need a lawyer.
Formal debate - which is different from all the above.
Public relations - argument with agenda.
Advertising ... this is a form of argument, most closely related to public relations.
Etc ... I am bound to be missing a few on my list.
Interpersonal/domestic arguments also depend on the purpose of the argument, there are subtypes.
Sometimes argument is darn hard, particularly with ME but even without it.
My most basic rule, which I fail to adhere to on occasion, is to show respect. I think this should be number one. It doesn't matter if you are talking to a gang member on the street, a small child who thinks they have done something wrong, or a friend or family member. Respect is number one.
People who abuse that and put other people down create problems. Sure they can gain power, or satisfaction, but it is a power based relationship. It will not persuade, it will not discover, it only creates obedience or rebellion. Someone who does this may be feared, they will not be respected.
There is also political argument. A totally different beast.
Scientific argument - which today is often more political than scientific, so its several different scopes of argument.
Legal argument - which I only grasp enough to know when I need a lawyer.
Formal debate - which is different from all the above.
Public relations - argument with agenda.
Advertising ... this is a form of argument, most closely related to public relations.
Etc ... I am bound to be missing a few on my list.
Interpersonal/domestic arguments also depend on the purpose of the argument, there are subtypes.
Sometimes argument is darn hard, particularly with ME but even without it.
My most basic rule, which I fail to adhere to on occasion, is to show respect. I think this should be number one. It doesn't matter if you are talking to a gang member on the street, a small child who thinks they have done something wrong, or a friend or family member. Respect is number one.
People who abuse that and put other people down create problems. Sure they can gain power, or satisfaction, but it is a power based relationship. It will not persuade, it will not discover, it only creates obedience or rebellion. Someone who does this may be feared, they will not be respected.
I remember reading john gray men are from mars and women are from venus many years ago. Addressed communication between the sexes and how to fix it 
In a top ten of importance to males, number one was respect. It was further down the list for women.
Cant remember what number one was for women.
Sorry was something the male brain was often reluctant to say due to the idea of losing respect, saving face.
However female brains found it much easier to say and often a necessity.
http://www.wikisummaries.org/Men_Are_From_Mars,_Women_Are_From_Venus
I think all that is changing again now as language is in a constant state of flux.
Apparently females have adopted traditional male style language in part due to internet forums.
In a top ten of importance to males, number one was respect. It was further down the list for women.
Cant remember what number one was for women.
Sorry was something the male brain was often reluctant to say due to the idea of losing respect, saving face.
However female brains found it much easier to say and often a necessity.
http://www.wikisummaries.org/Men_Are_From_Mars,_Women_Are_From_Venus
I think all that is changing again now as language is in a constant state of flux.
Apparently females have adopted traditional male style language in part due to internet forums.
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alex3619
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@golden, this issue is closely related to not be willing to admit a mistake. Power based culture is in part about giving an impression of infallibility. I am not sure its about males so much as about entrenched power, which in our society is largely a male dominated pursuit.
In my view once you realize you have made a mistake, then the best course is to say so and not give the other parties time to bring it up. At least I try to live up to this, but I am not infallible.
In my view once you realize you have made a mistake, then the best course is to say so and not give the other parties time to bring it up. At least I try to live up to this, but I am not infallible.
Snow Leopard
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Exactly. Different methods for different fields.
Some or all of those '10 rules' can be inappropriate, depending on why and where you are arguing.