ladybugmandy, i relate to a lot of those feelings...when the information first came out i felt a bit like i might have something a bit akin to leprosy and thought a lot about the stigma attached to AIDS, particularly in the early years. the idea that i could pass this on to a partner or may have in the past and they could be a carrier scares me and evokes all sorts of emotional responses at various times. for now i'm trying not to get ahead of myself and just wait and see how it all plays out...