Thats very true, Jody. I dont think any of us at the outset really understood how much this disease was going to affect us in ways other than the physical.
Once I realised that I wasnt going to get 'cured' and return to the full normality of good health I had once enjoyed, I found the adjustment very hard.
There were resentments and plenty of 'Why Me ?' moments before I began to adjust to a more contemplative way of life, which was in direct contrast to the life I had been leading before.
I now had more time to study the Bible but funnily enough I studied even less, probably due to fatigue (or so I told myself). What I was really doing was chasing up every new piece of possible information on CFS, going all over the place mentally and exhausting myself even more.:ashamed:
Eventually I was forced to slow down,start opening the Bible again and seek a more spritual existence. I knew that there was not going to be a materia medica answer to CFS in the near future and so sought God for the 'magic bullet cure' prayer like some "name it and claim it " Christians advise people to do.
When that didnt work I went to a Benny Hinn rally, surely I would find healing there. Nope.
Next it was a Derek Prince Weekend seminar on Deliverance. Perhaps I needed a few demons to be cast out and that would do the trick. Nope.:Retro mad:
Finally I gave in and decided I would just read the Bible not expecting anything and just hang out with God. This proved to be the answer for me and now I just to hear passages such as Isiah 30:5 and it seems to help me find the peace and rest I need.
For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
or Isiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
I found I had to "let go,and let God " before I could find his rest. Its not always easy, especially after doing something stupid like overdoing it and crashing (again).:innocent1:
Why didnt I do this from the beginning instead of trailing around wasting time and energy?
Because I'm stupid and wilful and want to do things my way, instead of God's way.:ashamed:
All this reminds me of a story about a little 4 year old girl sat in church with her mother.
The Preacher got up and said in a loud voice " My sermon today is on the theme from the Book of Isiah, Be Still and know that I am God""
"Mummy, is that man really God?" the little girl piped up. "No Dear" the mother replied "He just thinks he is":Retro smile:
.