Thats very true, Jody. I dont think any of us at the outset really understood how much this disease was going to affect us in ways other than the physical.
Once I realised that I wasnt going to get 'cured' and return to the full normality of good health I had once enjoyed, I found the adjustment very hard.
There were resentments and plenty of 'Why Me ?' moments before I began to adjust to a more contemplative way of life, which was in direct contrast to the life I had been leading before.
I now had more time to study the Bible but funnily enough I studied even less, probably due to fatigue (or so I told myself). What I was really doing was chasing up every new piece of possible information on CFS, going all over the place mentally and exhausting myself even more.
Eventually I was forced to slow down,start opening the Bible again and seek a more spritual existence. I knew that there was not going to be a materia medica answer to CFS in the near future and so sought God for the 'magic bullet cure' prayer like some "name it and claim it " Christians advise people to do.
When that didnt work I went to a Benny Hinn rally, surely I would find healing there. Nope.
Next it was a Derek Prince Weekend seminar on Deliverance. Perhaps I needed a few demons to be cast out and that would do the trick. Nope.:Retro mad:
Finally I gave in and decided I would just read the Bible not expecting anything and just hang out with God. This proved to be the answer for me and now I just to hear passages such as Isiah 30:5 and it seems to help me find the peace and rest I need.
For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
or Isiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
I found I had to "let go,and let God " before I could find his rest. Its not always easy, especially after doing something stupid like overdoing it and crashing (again).:innocent1:
Why didnt I do this from the beginning instead of trailing around wasting time and energy?
Because I'm stupid and wilful and want to do things my way, instead of God's way.
All this reminds me of a story about a little 4 year old girl sat in church with her mother.
The Preacher got up and said in a loud voice " My sermon today is on the theme from the Book of Isiah, Be Still and know that I am God""
"Mummy, is that man really God?" the little girl piped up. "No Dear" the mother replied "He just thinks he is":Retro smile:
.