Warning: more philosophy.
Hi peggy-sue, I too have come across discussion that the quality of the patient-counselor relationship is what determines outcomes more than anything. Like you I don't have references, its just stuff I have read over the years. Good therapists tend to be effective no matter the technique. However this information was before the rise of CBT, so I suspect they will argue that CBT is better than that.
Mind and emotion are inseparable. Argument about rational mind, as opposed to mind, came to dominance in the nineteenth century, with the idea that rationality was the most important thing. Cognitive science grounded in symbol manipulation discounts emotion, its all about symbols. This is old school thinking, and so close to totally debunked I consider it ancient history. Emotion and thought are inseparable, so deeply entwined that the whole notion of rationality is currently in question. Nobody is, nor can be, completely rational. Kahneman won a Nobel prize for his work in proving that we don't think rationally and showing that "rational" actors in economic theory, for example, are not even close to rational. Emotion plays a huge part in that, and is an important factor in motivation and bias.
Theory of mind is indeed something else. Recognition of self and others and the thoughts of others indicates someone has a theory of mind ... even some chimpanzees do this. Paint a red streak on the back of a chimp and put them in front of a mirror, and watch the antics when they see it. I don't think chimpanzees have a great capacity in this area, though I am more than a decade or two out of date on this.
Symbols themselves have no meaning. WE, as people, and our brains and experience, give them meaning. That meaning includes emotional overtones. Its not entirely rational.
There is so much more I can say on this but this is not the forum for it.
Bye, Alex