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Quilp interviews El Contaminantez part 2/3 ( Elsie )


Senior Member
Having managed to escape security Quilp was once again able to continue his interview with Elsie the most feared mouse in all of Mekkiko....

Elsie I tells you a stories about EL McClure. I spends time with my fat greek friend El Parker at Imperial College, last weeks I thinks. He very nosey, deceitful man, but we no go into that for legal reasons and things.
Anyways I listening to Tupac Shakur on full blast whens I hears EL McClure singing and then I sees her dancing, likes how you says.with bumble bee in pants ?

Quilp Nothing wrong in being happy Elsie

Elsie But I no happy and me thinks bumble bee he no chance he survive in those pants..
Always the same song If we cant find the positive, we cant find the virus, and if we cant find the virus we cant find the positive..I dont know what else to DOOOOooooooooooo
My picture of Tupac, he fall off the wall

Quilp Well she is entitled to her opinion. Thats what science is about. ( we have no independent verification that that was in fact Dr McClure, though I could be 100% wrong )

Elsie I tell you EL Quilp, it get so bad I have to hide. I jump in EL McClure make-up bag.

Quilp And ?

Elsie It very big shock, like a big mushroom cloud explode in mini black hole.
Its a so bad I think I jump from 10th floor but I no really want to die and I worried maybes EL Coffin hes on holidays this time.

Quilp What about your friend EL Parker, was he ok ?

Elsie oh yes I nearly forgots. He gets shellshocked. I told him there no bloody room in side make-up bag. Anyways he wants to ends it for sure so he decides to jump from 11th floor instead.

Quilp Why the 11th ?

Elsie He want miss EL Coffin beard for sure. But he cant jump because he all stiff, like how you say, struck by process lightning ?

Quilp Struck by lightning ?

Elsie Si si lightning process. But he jump anyways. Its ok I no like him, he always charge me lots of money and give nothing back.

Quilp I can see and understand why you might harbour a sense of injustice but these viruses are new human gamma retroviruses of hitherto unknown etiology. We humans are very afraid.

Elsie AFRAID ?! AFRAID ?! I give you bloody afraid. Everyday Fat Brain the Imperial College cat he try to eat me. I write to Queen and tells he needs punishments for war crimes. Execution, prison, car accident in French tunnel it all same to me.
Why he not like like Schrodinger cat ? I close my eyes but he still bloody real.

Quilp I understand Elsie please calm down.

Elsie I no calm down, I no calm down. Let us all go free, no more POW labs. Except Mickey Mouse, he no real.

Quilp Haha quite, and Speedy Gonzalez too !

Elsie Speedy Gonzalez, my cousin, I makes jokes around here El Quilp

Quilp Apologies

Elsie No mice, no poo, no poo, no contamination. Its a not War and Hair piece you knows, its a very simples.
I very fed up of you, why you no tickle Fat Brians reproductive organs instead. Maybes you make him happy.
Next time I sees Sam Shat instead, he much nicer and he give chocolate biscuit.

Quilp you mean cheese ?

Elsie QUE ? No I mean chocolate biscuit

Quilp but you are a mouse, you eat cheese..

Elsie Oh so you now racist too..

Here there was a short interlude taken on the grounds of health and safety. Primarily Quilps Health and Quilps safety. Thank you for your patience, Quilp will be back with a spare pair of underpants soon.


Senior Member
Columbus, Ohio, USA
Thanks for the latest chapter. This is fiction, right?

What do you think of posting all parts as blog entries so they are easy to read together, one after another? Maybe you are already doing this. I haven't checked.



Senior Member
Hello Merry, yes I did think about this, but it is in three parts and that might be too much to read in one go. I don't know. Glad you liked the first two parts.
Hello Alex3619, yes wouldn't that be wonderful.

Kind regards, Mark