Please remember.. we arent all the same!

[u&iraok]

Sometimes people get irritated at things they do themselves. Human nature. But they could try to be patient.

My memory's always bad, sometimes it's worse. I try to look at the bright side--you forget negative things.

 

[Mya Symons]

I can understand how worrying that would be with family members with Alzheimers. At one point with the ME (when my brain was worst) I didnt recognise my sisters husband when he come to the door and then had to "fake it" for 10 mins till I realised who he was, only cause he started to talk about my sister. Thank God that still isnt happening to me. (In that incident I knew that I knew him but had no idea how I did or who he was).


I'm sorry you had to go through that. You handled it so well. I think I would have panicked.



Im thinking about going back onto my B12 as that has helped my brain some in the past.

I hope you find something which improves your memory some.

Thanks Tania.

I was taking B12 with biotin at one time, and all around I did feel better. I also had thick nails and my hair around my temples was growing back. I should search for some with smaller pills.

 

[taniaaust1]

I still have this problem but it used to be a lot worse. As you said, memory problems can go up and down depending on so many factors.



taniaaust1, I have a few stories like that, too. The worst one happened while I was still working. As I was walking down the hall I passed this man. He said "Hello" and I said "Hi" in return. But I was thinking, "Who is that?" I knew that we were supposed to know each other somehow. But I did not remember his name, his face, or even how I knew him.

It was not until a few days later that I figured out (not from my own memory, but by some other event, perhaps seeing him go into his office) who he was. He was my former boss. I had worked for him for about 6-7 months during the previous year. We had seen each other almost daily, attended regular staff meetings, and he had given me my performance review. And yet, when he passed me in the hall, I had no idea who he was. Thankfully, it never came up that I didn't recognize him so no embarrassing or awkward moments.

This type of memory problem is not the same as simply forgetting a name or face. This is having no memory of name, face or relationship. As Mya said, this type of memory problem can be a bit worrisome.

Memory problems are so strange. I can be very deficient in one area and still do well in another. Once I left my grocery list at home. I could visualize it in my mind's eye and I was able to remember most of them - I think I got either 9 or 10 out of 11 items. So, in that particular area, my memory is pretty good.

But in other ways my memory is terrible. My worst problem is remembering what I was doing. If I'm interrupted then whatever I was doing is gone from my mind as if it were never there. If I don't have some visual cue for what I was doing before the interrupt then I'll probably never get back to it. I have lots of little paper To Do lists so that I won't forget things. My teenage nephew was visiting us once and he saw one of my little lists. It had an item for "brush teeth" - rather embarrassing.

The good side of this particular memory problem is that I'm very good at being "in the moment."

Seriously, I'll never forget telling the doctor that it had been weeks, probably a month, since my last migraine. My husband looked at me (this was when I was too sick to go alone and he took me to all my appointments) and he said, "But you woke up with a migraine just a few days ago." I had completely forgotten about it until he mentioned it. I wasn't trying to ignore my symptoms or minimize them to please the doctor. I actually did not remember it. But just as soon as he said it, then I remembered it.

And this has happened to me not just about things that happened a couple days ago but even after maybe 30 minutes. Let's say my husband tells me he has a work lunch tomorrow. A little while later I will ask him what he wants for lunch tomorrow. He looks confused/frustrated and I wonder what's wrong. Up until the point when he actually reminds me that has already told me about his lunch plans I have no memory of him telling me. Then as soon as he reminds me, it all comes flooding back, including all the details.

I don't know what this kind of memory problem is called (is there a name for it?) but whatever it is I have it all the time. And it is so frustrating!

Back to the original post, it is all too true that we have a wide range of cognitive problems that can change from day to day. It's so hard even for those who know us well. I'm thinking of how my husband still gets surprised, even after all these years, about how big the difference can be between a good phase, when I can think clearly and even speak in complete sentences, to those bad phases when I can barely think and can't even come up with nouns for common household items (I can picture what I'm trying to say but I can't think of the word for spoon or table or refrigerator).

It's good to have this thread to help folks remember (see what I did there? ) to be patient with each other.

Sending HUGS to all.

It really amazes me at times when I hear others with ME speak of their memory issues as most of us have the same kind of strange memory loss. eg I too if I forgot a shopping list can often still remember more then half of the list... but something which should be simple eg just remembering to take the library books Im taking out to the car when Im going to the library, I'll end up leaving them home.

The good side of this particular memory problem is that I'm very good at being "in the moment."

Seriously, I'll never forget telling the doctor that it had been weeks, probably a month, since my last migraine. My husband looked at me (this was when I was too sick to go alone and he took me to all my appointments) and he said, "But you woke up with a migraine just a few days ago." I had completely forgotten about it until he mentioned it. I wasn't trying to ignore my symptoms or minimize them to please the doctor. I actually did not remember it. But just as soon as he said it, then I remembered it.

I do that exact thing.. and tell people I havent had a symptom in ages.. and then the next day or I'll remember myself a short time later, that I actually had that symptom only a few days ago (Ive done that at this site a lot, I probably confuse people a lot).
My memory makes it so one really cant trust what Im saying. I also give my doctors the wrong impression on what is going on, as often cant remember things, so they often never really hear what things have been like.

 

[u&iraok]

I do that exact thing.. and tell people I havent had a symptom in ages.. and then the next day or I'll remember myself a short time later, that I actually had that symptom only a few days ago (Ive done that at this site a lot, I probably confuse people a lot).
My memory makes it so one really cant trust what Im saying. I also give my doctors the wrong impression on what is going on, as often cant remember things, so they often never really hear what things have been like.

It is really strange to have memory problems. It's like you think having a bad memory is just not remembering until something or someone recalls it and you say, 'oh, yeah, I remember.' But forgetting things completely like they never happened? Important things? That's so weird.

It's so true that people can't trust what we're saying. I have similar experiences like your migraine experience. And I am now losing some older memories which is really scary. I thought those were in some locked untouchable vault in the brain.

 

[Gavman]

Hi Tania,

It sucks that you felt low due to it. I think oftentimes i blame myself when someone says they dont like something about me. But we're all entitled to forget things and be angry and be sad. Or whatever else comes up. Its difficult to process due to our low state though. I struggle with judgemental people myself, but its their view of the world. So the good part is we dont have to be them 24/7

Cheers,
Gavin

 

[CAcfs]

The reason I had gotten *slightly* frustrated was because you had been what I perceived as judgmental, when I was talking about how I had a hard time getting up in the morning and needed coffee to function, but that I couldn't mix up my powdered supplement I needed to take 30 min before the coffee, without the coffee, because I was too drowsy. You just acted really shocked and made a few comments, and it hurt my feelings.

Then later on, I was pretty sure you weren't listening at all to what I was saying, because you were typing way more than me, kind of typing about yourself and disregarding my comments, which were about what you were talking about anyways...POTS.... and when I said a few things that I was sure you would have commented on if you read them, because they were something you would have wanted to know, you said nothing. So later on, I finally said, "Did you see what I said above? I said that like 3 times tonight." In no way was I trying to comment on your memory.....my perception was just that you hadn't read what I said in the first place. So I was frustrated not with your memory, but with you not even reading what I was saying. That is where the frustration was coming from.

I'm sorry this upset you so much, but it really upset me too, frankly. I actually felt very hurt, and stayed away from this site for awhile. I don't feel like your perception of what happened matches how I saw the conversation at all.

 

[CAcfs]

Also, just wanted to say that I debated if I should leave my last post up, but I decided to, because I was so upset, that I really felt I needed to vent too, and that bringing this up was the only way I'd be able to move past it too, and enjoy chat. If you want me to take my post down, I will. I wasn't sure if I should PM you alone, or if this is better, since you started the topic anyways.

I am very sorry that my attitude, or what I said, hurt you so much. Please accept my apology. I think it was a case of two sick people with strong personalities, who weren't having a good night, clashing. I really hope we can just move past it, forgive each other, and be friends. I am sorry you are having such a hard time with your memory and everything else. It sounds awful. I really feel for you. I didn't mean to hurt you in my post above, but I really felt I needed to let you know exactly how things happened from my perspective, in order to be honest, so we can move on from this.

Again, really sorry for hurting you. I had no idea me being "short" with you would be that upsetting, and if I knew, I wouldn't have said anything, because it isn't worth hurting someone else who is sensitive. I felt pushed, so I pushed back, but I assumed that maybe you were stronger than you are, and wouldn't have meant to hurt you. The reason I logged off so quickly that night was because I was actually pretty upset and just needed a break.