so how is it going today?
@linusbert
thanks for asking, i didnt want to flood the post
a bit complex background, if its too much reading, skip ahead to the ***
my family used to go to a summer retreat, i know I'm super fortunate
because of work and such I haven't been in a long time
then I got cfs and for many years my fam didn't take it seriously, I ascribe this to me being tucked away at my girlfriends house that they didn't get along with, or perhaps they thought I was exaggerating, though I will never know
after I broke up with that girlfriend, i had already lost the ability to work and all my savings had gone to her and her house so i had no choice but to move in to my parents house, where upon seeing me directly they started taking my condition seriously, then i got covid and it got even worse
then they decided to enroll me in a clinic that seemed promising, so promising on paper at least that they bought me a ticket to go to the summer retreat last year, but i didn't feel confident going
then the ticket was extended to this year but the therapies at the clinic weren't working and I didn't feel confident traveling and didn't go, the house is in a rural mountainous village and with episodes unpredictable i wouldn't be able to even walk from the parking area to the house, much less enjoy the retreat
*** Yesterday was day 4 of questioning 'is this pem or an episode?', Definitely an episode as I slept until 4pm, I had no choice, and when I got up I wanted to see my family return so I took an inordinate amount of Kratom Alvesco pym albuterol etc, though I was dizzy and almost stumbling the whole time. Their arrival was delayed and I had managed to clean up, shower and dress nicely. So yes it was an episode but qualitatively less severe as it had me questioning for 4 days whether it was an episode.