I've been having a tough time recently. I stupidly decided to wean off my antidepressant. All was going well until 3 months ago when I dropped down another dose and started suffering from anxiety again. I stayed at that dose for another eight weeks hoping it would balance out but I continue to get worse with my anxiety. I've increased my dose again which I am 5 weeks into now but the panic attacks and anxiety are still happening.
Looking back it was a very foolish thing to do whilst I'm still in the recovery of CFS and we are currently doing a lot of work on our house so I was taking on board a lot more responsibility at home so my husband could work on the house every weekend plus we have three children. My panic attacks began 4 weeks ago and I have them about 4 days of the week currently and I have been floored again by fatigue. Things had improved with my CFS fatigue ways but since the panic and anxiety has hit I am spending a lot of time on my bed again unable to cook or clean due to how much it is wearing me out.
I had CFS for over 18 months and things started to improve I had anxiety and adrenaline on my crash days but never to the point of severe panic. Since I've been having the panic attacks and my energy has dipped again I'm spending a lot of time on my bed so when I do walk around I've noticed that usually is what triggers my panic attacks. I start having a hot flush to my face, i shake, I feel dizzy, I panic that I will faint which trigger's my heart to be even faster and then I can be in a panic attack or high anxiety for up to a couple of hours after.
Things were improving slightly with my panic attacks until this week when the children went back to school, they had last week off so it was a slower pace. Since they've gone back I am doing 1000 steps before 9 a.m. and when they leave for school I go up to bed to have a rest and my heart is racing and I feel breathless and I feel like my body is very overworked and stressed. That's the best way I can describe it like my body feels agitated and stressed as though it's done too much. This morning after I saw the kids off to school I sat on my bed and my heart was racing I felt breathless and an agitated stress body feeling which triggered a panic attack, I rung my husband upset and he said it will be the CFS that has triggered again because I have had so much adrenaline in my system and it's been very draining on my body so he thinks the CFS has triggered again and when the body is stressed I need to rest. So he thinks because I am busy in the mornings and hitting 1000 steps I'm actually adding further stress to my tired body and causing panic attacks. Could he be right?
I think I've had a breakdown in the last few weeks due to panic attacks and anxiety. I think I took too much on doing the extension on the house and all the decorating and thinking I could cope with the children and all the house work without my husband's help. I have no other support other than my husband because I don't have any family, so I think it lead to feelings of high stress in my body taking so much on. Weeks before I started having panic attacks I felt extremely stressed, I started getting aches across my shoulders and my arms. I also started to feel quite tired again not to the point of crashes but I was having signs that my body and mind was stressed and then one day I just had a huge panic attack out of the blue and ever since I've been crippled by anxiety and frequent panic attacks. This has been really frightening because they're not classic panic attacks, I just get a huge flush of heat to my face, I shake uncontrollably, I feel sick and I panic every time I'm going to pass out. It's terrifying because I can shake for a couple of hours after due to the high anxiety that lingers after an attack or I can have several attacks for about an hour and then eventually it starts to calm. I've never had breathing difficulties or chest pain with panic attacks. I had panic attacks about 5 years ago for about a month after I was attacked by my brother and they did feel similar to this but this I think has become panic disorder and I so I've been extremely tired dealing with this every single day.
I've had to rest the last couple of weeks since this anxiety hit me hard because I've just felt too tired to function and I've also lost a lot of confidence in walking around the house like I did when my CFS was at its worst. My husband has been great helping at home every night after work and my children have been amazing warming up their own meals that we leave in the fridge but I am feeling guilty because I can't cook for them at the moment or clean the house due to how i've been feeling and also how the panic attacks hit if I over exert myself. I am feeling like the worst mother and wife right now because for the last few weeks I have been out of action and unable to clean and care for my family. My daughter has been washing my hair for me every evening and she's happy to do that but she's only 12 and I feel a burden on her. My husband and children are amazing and keep telling me to rest and that my husband will do the cooking and any cleaning and my kids all have a chore every evening but I still feel that I should be downstairs cooking the evening meal and I should be cleaning from my family. So after three weeks of this I'm feeling terrified that the panic attacks will never stop and my CFS is going to destroy me again
I was attacked by my brother in late 2012 I also lost my grandmother 3 months prior to this. I then started suffering from anxiety and agoraphobia, I struggled to leave my house for about six months in 2013 but then I have therapy and by early 2014 life was getting easier again and I was back out living my life 80%. I had a great 2014 from the summer onwards, I had my first good Christmas in a couple of years and a good start to 2015. Then late 2015 my son was bullied in school and he became suicidal it was during this time that my health started to deteriorate. The NHS let my son down terribly and I had to take matters into my own hands and give him therapy myself from what I have learnt about anxiety and depression and within 3 months my son was back out in school and living his life happily. I then became bedridden with fatigue dizziness and severe stress. All of last year I was practically bedridden with the odd good week where I could get put herr and there for half an hour to the park or the short drive but I did spend the majority of last year in my bedroom. If force myself down to do meals and washing clothes but I spent a lot of my time upstairs.
I was diagnosed early last year with an underactive thyroid which received treatment and was then back in normal range but my fatigue and energy crashes was so severe that my GP diagnose stress and ignore the warning signs that I had CFS. I spent the year having constant blood tests and the stress that caused me lead to more anxiety as he never gave me any answers. Earlier this year my GP kept repeating diabetes tests, sodium tests, full blood counts and he referred me to a haemotologist in the hospital because he had no idea what was wrong with me. All he found was that my lymphocytes were slightly over Range by 0.6 or 0.7 (rang up to 3.65 and mine were 4.3 ish) and my GP at the time terrified me that this could be cancer. This lead to a rocket in my health anxiety and depression. My GP left and moved to a different surgery so I was taken on by a new GP in July this year. My husband met with my new GP to do a handover as I couldn't face it, and she told my husband that there has never been any need for the constant blood tests and there was no issue with my lymphocytes being 0.7 over range. My husband queried this because my old GP had told us that a hematologist had wanted me to do further tests but my new GP said that was not true, and the letter from the hematologist clearly said that no further action was needed as my lymphocytes were fine slightly over rang. She was puzzled as to why I had been told otherwise. She also told my husband that she thinks that I had medical trauma caused by my last GP constantly repeating tests that were unnecessary instead of diagnosing what was obviously staring him in the face. She diagnosed me with CFS and referred me to a CFS clinic which I'm still waiting to hear from.
I had a good three months this summer with no crashes just some mild to medium fatigue despite taking on the house and the children whilst my husband threw himself into the Renovations that we have put off while I'd been ill. And now I am struggling with general anxiety again and panic attacks which sometimes can be daily or sometimes I can go a few days between having them. I am struggling to accept my anxiety and panic attacks so when they happened I have a meltdown and cry because I fear fainting whilst I'm on my own full stop I'm also afraid now how exhausted I feel just from going downstairs to make a drink my heart can race and I can feel completely floored which can trigger panic attack. My husband seems to think a lot of this could be my CFS as he said my body sounds like it is under a lot of stress and I am still trying to function every morning so that I can see the children off as normal and feel like a proper mum which results in me doing about 1000 steps before they leave. Once they leave I often have my panic attacks in the morning and it's not because I'm alone it's because of how stressed and out of breath my body feels after being so active in the mornings, it then triggers the fight or flight and I have a panic attack. I keep worrying my cortisol levels must be very high due to all the anxiety recently which worries me more as I have had a high cortisol levels in the past but my GP was never concerned about them she said they lower as the stress levels come down.
I apologise this got so long I hope somebody can make some sense of this and reassure me what I'm feeling is very normal because right now I'm just feeling very afraid that this is going to be me forever and I'm going to be stuck in this fight or flight and stressed body feeling. I am trying to use essential oils to lower stress, I am doing gentle yoga and meditation. I just can't seem to function as normal which I am beating myself up for every single day. My husband said to me last night if for now we just have to master you functioning better upstairs before we tackle downstairs then that is fine you don't need to cook or clean right now. That just upsets me because I worked so hard to get to where I was and everytime life seems to get a bit better I get hit by another curve ball. I do suffer from sads which can make me depressed and anxious in the winter which may be adding to this but I don't usually experience panic attacks to this degree.
Sorry again this got so long. I had to use voice text so. I apologise for any mistakes I've missed when correcting it.
Thank you
Jem
Looking back it was a very foolish thing to do whilst I'm still in the recovery of CFS and we are currently doing a lot of work on our house so I was taking on board a lot more responsibility at home so my husband could work on the house every weekend plus we have three children. My panic attacks began 4 weeks ago and I have them about 4 days of the week currently and I have been floored again by fatigue. Things had improved with my CFS fatigue ways but since the panic and anxiety has hit I am spending a lot of time on my bed again unable to cook or clean due to how much it is wearing me out.
I had CFS for over 18 months and things started to improve I had anxiety and adrenaline on my crash days but never to the point of severe panic. Since I've been having the panic attacks and my energy has dipped again I'm spending a lot of time on my bed so when I do walk around I've noticed that usually is what triggers my panic attacks. I start having a hot flush to my face, i shake, I feel dizzy, I panic that I will faint which trigger's my heart to be even faster and then I can be in a panic attack or high anxiety for up to a couple of hours after.
Things were improving slightly with my panic attacks until this week when the children went back to school, they had last week off so it was a slower pace. Since they've gone back I am doing 1000 steps before 9 a.m. and when they leave for school I go up to bed to have a rest and my heart is racing and I feel breathless and I feel like my body is very overworked and stressed. That's the best way I can describe it like my body feels agitated and stressed as though it's done too much. This morning after I saw the kids off to school I sat on my bed and my heart was racing I felt breathless and an agitated stress body feeling which triggered a panic attack, I rung my husband upset and he said it will be the CFS that has triggered again because I have had so much adrenaline in my system and it's been very draining on my body so he thinks the CFS has triggered again and when the body is stressed I need to rest. So he thinks because I am busy in the mornings and hitting 1000 steps I'm actually adding further stress to my tired body and causing panic attacks. Could he be right?
I think I've had a breakdown in the last few weeks due to panic attacks and anxiety. I think I took too much on doing the extension on the house and all the decorating and thinking I could cope with the children and all the house work without my husband's help. I have no other support other than my husband because I don't have any family, so I think it lead to feelings of high stress in my body taking so much on. Weeks before I started having panic attacks I felt extremely stressed, I started getting aches across my shoulders and my arms. I also started to feel quite tired again not to the point of crashes but I was having signs that my body and mind was stressed and then one day I just had a huge panic attack out of the blue and ever since I've been crippled by anxiety and frequent panic attacks. This has been really frightening because they're not classic panic attacks, I just get a huge flush of heat to my face, I shake uncontrollably, I feel sick and I panic every time I'm going to pass out. It's terrifying because I can shake for a couple of hours after due to the high anxiety that lingers after an attack or I can have several attacks for about an hour and then eventually it starts to calm. I've never had breathing difficulties or chest pain with panic attacks. I had panic attacks about 5 years ago for about a month after I was attacked by my brother and they did feel similar to this but this I think has become panic disorder and I so I've been extremely tired dealing with this every single day.
I've had to rest the last couple of weeks since this anxiety hit me hard because I've just felt too tired to function and I've also lost a lot of confidence in walking around the house like I did when my CFS was at its worst. My husband has been great helping at home every night after work and my children have been amazing warming up their own meals that we leave in the fridge but I am feeling guilty because I can't cook for them at the moment or clean the house due to how i've been feeling and also how the panic attacks hit if I over exert myself. I am feeling like the worst mother and wife right now because for the last few weeks I have been out of action and unable to clean and care for my family. My daughter has been washing my hair for me every evening and she's happy to do that but she's only 12 and I feel a burden on her. My husband and children are amazing and keep telling me to rest and that my husband will do the cooking and any cleaning and my kids all have a chore every evening but I still feel that I should be downstairs cooking the evening meal and I should be cleaning from my family. So after three weeks of this I'm feeling terrified that the panic attacks will never stop and my CFS is going to destroy me again
I was attacked by my brother in late 2012 I also lost my grandmother 3 months prior to this. I then started suffering from anxiety and agoraphobia, I struggled to leave my house for about six months in 2013 but then I have therapy and by early 2014 life was getting easier again and I was back out living my life 80%. I had a great 2014 from the summer onwards, I had my first good Christmas in a couple of years and a good start to 2015. Then late 2015 my son was bullied in school and he became suicidal it was during this time that my health started to deteriorate. The NHS let my son down terribly and I had to take matters into my own hands and give him therapy myself from what I have learnt about anxiety and depression and within 3 months my son was back out in school and living his life happily. I then became bedridden with fatigue dizziness and severe stress. All of last year I was practically bedridden with the odd good week where I could get put herr and there for half an hour to the park or the short drive but I did spend the majority of last year in my bedroom. If force myself down to do meals and washing clothes but I spent a lot of my time upstairs.
I was diagnosed early last year with an underactive thyroid which received treatment and was then back in normal range but my fatigue and energy crashes was so severe that my GP diagnose stress and ignore the warning signs that I had CFS. I spent the year having constant blood tests and the stress that caused me lead to more anxiety as he never gave me any answers. Earlier this year my GP kept repeating diabetes tests, sodium tests, full blood counts and he referred me to a haemotologist in the hospital because he had no idea what was wrong with me. All he found was that my lymphocytes were slightly over Range by 0.6 or 0.7 (rang up to 3.65 and mine were 4.3 ish) and my GP at the time terrified me that this could be cancer. This lead to a rocket in my health anxiety and depression. My GP left and moved to a different surgery so I was taken on by a new GP in July this year. My husband met with my new GP to do a handover as I couldn't face it, and she told my husband that there has never been any need for the constant blood tests and there was no issue with my lymphocytes being 0.7 over range. My husband queried this because my old GP had told us that a hematologist had wanted me to do further tests but my new GP said that was not true, and the letter from the hematologist clearly said that no further action was needed as my lymphocytes were fine slightly over rang. She was puzzled as to why I had been told otherwise. She also told my husband that she thinks that I had medical trauma caused by my last GP constantly repeating tests that were unnecessary instead of diagnosing what was obviously staring him in the face. She diagnosed me with CFS and referred me to a CFS clinic which I'm still waiting to hear from.
I had a good three months this summer with no crashes just some mild to medium fatigue despite taking on the house and the children whilst my husband threw himself into the Renovations that we have put off while I'd been ill. And now I am struggling with general anxiety again and panic attacks which sometimes can be daily or sometimes I can go a few days between having them. I am struggling to accept my anxiety and panic attacks so when they happened I have a meltdown and cry because I fear fainting whilst I'm on my own full stop I'm also afraid now how exhausted I feel just from going downstairs to make a drink my heart can race and I can feel completely floored which can trigger panic attack. My husband seems to think a lot of this could be my CFS as he said my body sounds like it is under a lot of stress and I am still trying to function every morning so that I can see the children off as normal and feel like a proper mum which results in me doing about 1000 steps before they leave. Once they leave I often have my panic attacks in the morning and it's not because I'm alone it's because of how stressed and out of breath my body feels after being so active in the mornings, it then triggers the fight or flight and I have a panic attack. I keep worrying my cortisol levels must be very high due to all the anxiety recently which worries me more as I have had a high cortisol levels in the past but my GP was never concerned about them she said they lower as the stress levels come down.
I apologise this got so long I hope somebody can make some sense of this and reassure me what I'm feeling is very normal because right now I'm just feeling very afraid that this is going to be me forever and I'm going to be stuck in this fight or flight and stressed body feeling. I am trying to use essential oils to lower stress, I am doing gentle yoga and meditation. I just can't seem to function as normal which I am beating myself up for every single day. My husband said to me last night if for now we just have to master you functioning better upstairs before we tackle downstairs then that is fine you don't need to cook or clean right now. That just upsets me because I worked so hard to get to where I was and everytime life seems to get a bit better I get hit by another curve ball. I do suffer from sads which can make me depressed and anxious in the winter which may be adding to this but I don't usually experience panic attacks to this degree.
Sorry again this got so long. I had to use voice text so. I apologise for any mistakes I've missed when correcting it.
Thank you
Jem
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