My parents called CPS because of my CFS...

[sometexan84]

I'm a single dad of two little kids. I'm very good at it and they're well taken care of. But my parents know about my health situation, and about times when I've been in bed for extended periods of time.

Anyway, CPS came to my house, and it was my parents who contacted them. Nothing to do w/ drugs or alcohol or abuse or anything like that. Apparently they don't like the idea of me sleeping when the kids are not sleeping (age 7 and 5).

I have no point, I just wanted to share.

 

[xebex]

I guess your parents aren’t supportive enough to come and actually help out when you are sleeping?

 

[Zebra]

Hi, @sometexan84

I am so upset to read about what your parents did to you.

For what it's worth, I remember when you joined PR, and I simply do NOT believe that you've been anything but a devoted father and capable single-parent, despite your CFS.

I hope you will feel comfortable to continue posting about this matter as it evolves, and I hope you will be met with support from the PR community.

Warmly,
Z

 

[Judee]

Even if you have to sleep while the kids are awake, kids are resilient. Just give them lots of love when you can. They'll understand.

However, I'm not sure what to suggest about your parents. What did CPS say when they came? Surely, they have seen much worse situations.

Plus, you're certainly not the only single parent out there trying to hold everything together as best as you can.

 

[Hip]

It's likely your parents don't really understand ME/CFS. Most ME/CFS patients when they first get their disease have the experience of their family just assuming they are lazy.

Even if you tell them you have ME/CFS, many family members will not accept ME/CFS is a real disease, and think it's all about a lazy attitude.

If your parents like to read, you might buy them a good book on ME/CFS, as this can help with the education process. Something which is authoritative, but easy to read and interesting even for the layperson.

But it can take years before family members finally come around to understanding and accepting ME/CFS.

 

[Lovalab]

@sometexan84 Idk if it will help but here is a link to the article that was in Time Magazine.

https://time.com/5897992/long-haul-...twLUqQ6xSI8fZTdN-30WnOWUTqvzz3tgP9jbOTx4WLlQU

Make a copy if you can and give to CPS and your parents. It states ME is real and the affects of covid 19. Maybe it will convince your parents how you are doing the best you can with this disease. If you had cancer would they be calling CPS or doing all they could to help you raise your children? Best of Luck, my prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Mary]

@sometexan84 - wow - I'm so sorry to hear that! I was a single parent of twin boys for the first 9 years of their lives. They're great kids, but parenting is the hardest job in the world. I was very fortunate that my health did not start to go south until they were in their teens.

Anyways, I'm sure you're a great father! Kids are resilient as @Judee noted.

It sounds like your parents don't accept or understand anything about ME/CFS. Books can be good. Another suggestion is to watch Unrest on Netflix. Another good film is "Voices from the Shadows" - it says you can watch it free here, using the code "voices": https://vimeo.com/ondemand/22513/108797012

There's one more film, but I can't think of it right now, if I remember it, I'll post it.

 

[sometexan84]

The kind words are truly appreciated.

My parents do believe in ME/CFS, and everything I've told them about it. Plus they know how I was before I got sick. So they know, and they've been very concerned about it. They're actually TOO concerned.

And I agree about kids being resilient, whereas it appears my parents are not of that mindset.

and no, I'm not really speaking to them. I don't really trust them now.

CPS person was not concerned at all. They had no reason to be. She was like, Why am i here....?

 

[ljimbo423]

CPS person was not concerned at all. They had no reason to be. She was like, Why am i here....?

This is great to hear!

 

[Rufous McKinney]

CPS person was not concerned at all. They had no reason to be. She was like, Why am i here....?

Well, thank good ness somebody level headed - showed up. How redeeming.

That is all incredibly upsetting.

Perhaps I thought I"d just say- that your parents are concerned for their grandchildren...that part is at least understandable. Their approach was incredibly hurtful and betraying. Had they discussed their concerns with you before all that?

Maybe there are some additional measures you could deploy to make it a bit safer feeling. I agree with others that we are infantiling our children. They are far more capable and resilient than we give them credit for.

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

CPS person was not concerned at all. They had no reason to be. She was like, Why am i here....?

This is great to hear!

Well, thank good ness somebody level headed - showed up. How redeeming.

I'm with all the above sentiments .... it's very fortunate that a reasonable, level-headed social worker showed up, soe responses can be.....excessive

and no, I'm not really speaking to them. I don't really trust them now.

I'm with you. Perhaps an extended vacation from both you and their grandchildren will give them the time and space they clearly need to consider, oh I dont know, their humanity?? The concept of loving kindness? Their future without y'all?

 

[Lovalab]

Sometexan84 it's been a bit since your 1st post, how are things now? Have things settled down? Did you take a break from your parents to let things cool off? Hope all is well. Lovalab

 

[sometexan84]

Yea, things have calmed down. My mom won't stop messaging me about how sorry she is. I just don't want to deal w/ any of that drama right now. I've been 100% focused on my treatment. The periods of extended sleep that started this were from the treatment too, I've just been herxing a lot from all the stuff I'm on.

 

[roller]

My mom won't stop messaging me about how sorry she is.

what did she think is happening when she reports you.
mothers get away with everything.

 

[sometexan84]

what did she think is happening when she reports you.

That I was too sick to take good care of my kids.

I actually think my dad is the one who initiated it all. Also, he was mad at me at the time, and I think his anger largely influenced his decision. I think my mom just sort of went along w/ it.

 

[bensmith]

This is crap im sorry. My folks are similar but not before i got ill. Argh, so sorry for yall that is not cool.