Martial
Senior Member
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- Ventura, CA
Martial-
First off, Thats AWESOME that you're already feeling better. I'm sure this signifies that perfect health is on the not so distant horizon for you. I'm real happy to hear it, man. And I greatly appreciate all the help, I fancy myself a fairly intelligent person as well and stubborn as hell, tho not always sure if that works in my favor!
In terms of my reduced brain function after PEM, it was just a kick in the face when they happened. The first was after taking a long drive to see a doctor, the next day I woke up and was massively more dissociated and there was a very eerie silence in my brain. I just felt much more spaced out and my memory had declined as well. Just an overwhelming..... nothingness. Second was after a short walk, I don't know how to really describe it but even while i was walking I could feel more "depth" of life fading away, like layers of my being were going down, leaving me with a much greater feeling of emptiness. The third and worst was when I first traveled to NYC to see Dr Enlander. It didn't hit me until about 4 days later but I woke up in the middle of the night extremely revved up; nerve pain, sweating, shaking, loud tinnitus, heart pounding- but at the same time I could just feel parts of my brain going down. I could feel my very ability to feel existence, being, time and ability to process thoughts diminishing. This went on for about 3-4 hours until it began to calm down, however I was left with the deficits. This was the one that really brought me into psychosis because I now have a lot of trouble keeping grasp on the very little reality left that my brain can feel.
I have never recovered from any of these instances. It almost feels like my brain doesn't have the power to access certain parts anymore.
One thing i will mention tho that is interesting is that when this first started for me I had more classic brain fog symptoms- cognitive problems, speech problems, math problems etc.. Then, the first major setback I had (after that long drive), instantaneously almost all of my cognitive deficits went away and got replaced by this lack of presence, dissociation and hollowed feeling. Its like the hypoperfusion just moved to a different part of my brain. That's the only thing I can think of.
The first 6 months or so of this illness it was almost exclusively brain problems but now those have slowed down and the physical symptoms have been increasing- fatigue, muscle weakness, nausea, POTS, OI. To the best of my knowledge I didn't have OI before a couple months ago but I have been told that I may have but just couldn't feel it. Either way, it sucks more than anything in life has ever sucked before. My parents constantly ask me to explain what's going on in my brain to them and the only response I can give them is just "my brain is so, so far gone"
Thanks for all those links, too. In regards to diet I haven't eaten sugar or any flour for the better part of a decade. I also am heavy on the coconut products and ferment my own coconut kefir. I sure hope this can get rid of the Candida and allow my diet to do some good for once. My doc is going to put me on lipid therapy soon to treat the cell membrane damage so I'm hoping that will reap some benefit. Then maybe things will start working correctly again.
So I guess I'm not quite sure- is brain dysfunction due to hypoperfusion from some sort of blood reduction or is it hypometabolism due to mitochondria damage? Or both?
Thank you Jeff! It is definitely a huge part of thanks to Fred and his protocol, as well ad Dr. Buhner, and Dr. Jernigan.. I also had a lot of unconscious emotional discords, and pains come up since getting sick and I believe probably got me sick in the first place, I had the lyme for a while but really severe emotional stress seemed to stop my immune system just enough for the infection to really take hold.. Obviously I feel like I need to work a lot of that out before I get really fully better again...
Interesting to see what you noted, I know your diet has always been perfect and that will defnitely serve you well for sure. The lipid therapy will also help to repair the cell membrane damage as well, it is not as if they are permanently damaged anyways. The body is more then capable of healing itself and restoring normal functions so long as it is given what it needs.
I wouldn't think too much or introspect on the brain issues either, once you get proper blood flow to the brain again this stuff should be corrected.. You maybe had the POTS/OI before but being bed ridden or not doing as much physical activity made it less noticable? Also extended bed rest/de conditioning can make pre existing POT/S worse. Obviously it makes sense as to where the POT/S was started as well..
I think the Diamox would be really promising of a therapy alongside the lipid replacement, and I would definitely also suggest the enzymes I mentioned.. they don't have any adverse effects and are very useful especially in your situation!
Fred's methylation protocol would be another excellent addition, this will help your bodies natural de tox mechanisms, and strengthen the immune system to better be equipped in killing whatever pathogens could be involved. So long as you follow the protocol correctly and pay attention not to trigger paradoxical folate deficiency and low potassium you would benefit greatly.
I don't know if the brain issues stem from hypo perfusion, or hypo metabolism due to cell membrane damage or both but since you are working on correcting both then at least this is all that matters! It is hard to say but I can promise that it will repair itself once everything is correctly put into place!
I experienced similar feelings of intense emptiness, and the like. Sometimes with brain issues our consciousness can seem to come back into its natural state, similar to when you are in dreamless deep sleep and are most present, without any sense perceptions or pleasure/pain cycles of the mind; just pure awareness.. Also similar to being unborn or an infant that has not constructed a strong sense of self yet. You are definitely not in psychosis either or you would not be here writing, and co hearing perfect intellect and self awareness, Psychosis is a much different issue then dissociation.
It may FEEL like you are distant or far gone so to speak, but usually it is the opposite, you are just far away from the old way of perception through the brain and analyzing, judging, and mentally constructing a false sense of reality. Also it is obvious you are now in touch with what is absolutely real because if this wasn't the case and the ego state was absolute reality you would be comotose or dead. Keep in mind too a lot of what you are feeling could be from severe sleep deprivation as well, that would put a strong spell of dissociation into even the most healthy of individuals.
Regardless once you get the perfusion again and correct the cell membrane damage things will just sort of fall into place for you, though I never got testing to know what it was specifically with me on a cellular level I also had brain issues, and the like from inflammation/hypoperfusion from the lyme disease. It tends to just kind of correct itself with time and proper treatment and eventually just spontaneously or slowly correct itself.
I am confident you will recover pretty quickly with all the treatment you are doing now and catching everything early bud!
Did they ever run an IgeneX test by the way? I am curious if that could be the source of your problems, if it is something like then you would really need to focus on correcting the infection fully to keep a full recovery..
Also remind me again have you ever had amalgam fillings, eaten a lot of ocean fish, or had a previous serious exposure to any heavy metals?