In Memory of Patrick Johnson "PatJ"

[Diwi9]

Phoenix Rising was contacted today by PatJ's sister with the following message:

I wanted to inform you that my brother Patrick Johnson of Whitehorse Yukon, Canada ended his suffering this morning. His wishes were to let this group know. I would like to thank you all for the friendship and support that you have provided to him for the duration of his illness. He was a kind and gentle soul and he was a light in our lives.

PatJ was an avid supporter of the Phoenix Rising community for many years, volunteering with technical support and when his health declined he still consistently posted a welcome message with resources that he put together for new members. As his sister says, he was a kind and gentle soul. A friend to us all.

We will post more information as it comes to us.

Please take a moment to remember PatJ. May he rest in peace.

 

[bensmith]

I only got to know you through a brief passing on here but you seemed kind.

i always liked reading his quotes. They helped me and really expanded my mind when i am no longer able to otherwise. His post were some of my favorites. Sometimes i thought he was speaking to me. And it cut through my ego or pain like butter. He was truly a special man.

i pulled this one at random, and its somehow exactly what i needed to hear with my stuff going on. He helped me tonight.

Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them.

—don Miguel Ruiz

goodbye pat. i am very upset and sad. I hope there is something after and you are doing much better my friend.

 

[Gingergrrl]

I am absolutely devastated by this horrible news and have been crying since I read your post, Diwi. Pat was my friend off the board for about five years. While he was always very sick, there was a period that his health was better, and during that period, we used to e-mail each other almost every day. He told me about when his mother was killed and later he was extremely supportive of me when my mom died of colon cancer. In fact, he found the poem for me that I read at her funeral.

Pat was a true artist and he created these beautiful ATC cards (artist trading cards) and in 2017 he mailed me four cards that he had drawn for me plus an ATC card that his niece drew for me. I framed them immediately and they are still hanging on my wall today. We exchanged photos of ourselves and our families and even though Pat would constantly tell me that he was consumed by brain fog which he felt affected his empathy, I can attest through the years that we communicated that he was one of the most empathic people that I have ever known.

He loved quotes and when I was going through my divorce (or other health-related or life issues), he used to e-mail me quotes that pertained to whatever I was dealing with. He encouraged me to start a journal to collect quotes and I started one a few years ago because of him. Back in 2017, he told me that some day if he got better, he would like to meet me half-way between where we each lived (which would have been Seattle or Vancouver area).

My health greatly improved starting in 2018 while his declined but I always prayed for him and in my mind, I envisioned that in the future, we would still meet in person some day. My greatest regret is that I did not create an ATC card to send back to him. I had planned to do it but I was not as skilled artistically as he was and I felt that anything that I created would not be very good. I truly regret this now.

Pat had been on my mind for the last week and I thought about e-mailing him but I knew that he was taking a break from PR (and we had not e-mailed in quite a while). So I talked myself out of it because I thought that it might be disturbing him. I really regret this, too, and wish that I could go back in time.

If his sister, brother-in-law, niece or nephew are reading this, I want you to know from the years that Pat and I were in close communication, that he loved you all very much. He spoke very highly of all of you and how much you meant to him and what amazing care you took to make sure that he had what he needed.

I cannot believe that I am typing this right now and my heart is truly broken. Pat, may you rest in peace, you were a great friend and I will miss you very much. Your memory is a blessing to me and to everyone whose lives you touched

 

[pattismith]

He had not posted on PR for a month, I am very sad

 

[Treeman]

Very sad news, Wish his suffering could have ended a different way. My thoughts are with all who loved him.

 

[Eastman]

Very sad news indeed. He was a stalwart of the forum and will surely be missed.

 

[manasi12]

Very sad.. he was a really empathic and very supportive person. He helped me in crucial times .
May his soul rest in peace..

 

[andyguitar]

He was a truly great guy. Wish I could have met him. Maybe someday in another place.

 

[lenora]

That is heartbreaking news to read.

May his soul rest in peace; may his family find peace through talking to each other. I feel for you and am so sorry that you had to report this news. Yours, Lenora.

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

The nature of social media threads, even this one which is sooooo far above most of the others, is that, while we all get to know each other on some levels, and some of them very personal levels, the connections are often fleeting and superficial, and fragile enough to be blown apart by very small things.

This wasn’t the case with Pat. As others have commented here, he was incredibly gentle and empathetic, kind to the core, and endlessly, generously, gloriously giving.

Even as he himself was getting worse and feeling the burden of this illness in ways that many of us are fortunate enough not to know, or at least to have been lucky enough to move beyond to whatever extent, he was the first to have that piece of information about a supplement, a treatment protocol, a medication, a research study, an herb or a cocktail of herbs, a doctor, a country’s medical system’s ins-and-outs that another member needed but had been unable to find, until Pat posted it for them.

Not just short, ‘ ….here’s the basics, Google the rest …” posts, but deeply detailed information that would have taken a very long time to develop, and an even longer time and a greater strain on limited, febrile energies to post..

He shared all that, and his wonderful quotes, with a free-handed generosity that would have been impressive had he been fully healed, but given the constraints that this pitiless, vile illness and his endless loss of one ability after another, his generosity reaches almost saint-like proportions.

There are few people in this meagre little world who could live up Pat’s example were they suddenly stricken in the same horrible way, for the same endless length of time.

I treasure him, not just for the many ways he either made me smile, or turned on that bright “Aha!” light that so many of his quotes did, or for the helpful and valuable information he shared, or for his guidance on IT issues related to problems on this site, but because he made me believe that the world was a better, kinder, gentler place than it so often shows itself to be, and that we all had a better, happier role in it than the one we were placed in now.

I’ll think of him every time I see a particularly good quote and inevitably think, “Oh, Pat would loooove this one ….”, or often recognize it as one that Pat had already posted on his Quote Of The Day thread at some point in the past; or find a piece of information that he might be able to use himself, or maybe incorporate into his incredibly generous, detailed intro for newcomers to these threads, which he continually updated with new information and refined until it was a polished diamond of an encyclopedia of treatment protocols, supplements and medications that showed promise, ways to navigate the often treacherous waters around getting appropriate treatment from doctors, what to avoid and why ….. the list is almost endless.

And I’ll try to bring him immediately to mind when the world, with all its pettiness and smallness and meanness and evil and vicious, pointless cruelty starts to wear me down and sour me on humanity.

Here are two quotes from @PatJ ‘s own heart. The first is one he lived by, every day that he drew breath in these threads and on this site, and no doubt in every other aspect of his life:

This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is very important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving something in its place I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss — good, not evil. Success, not failure in order that I shall not forget the price I paid for it.

―Heartsill Wilson

The second is a personal reminder to ….. well, all of us, but to me right now particularly:

We must find time to stop and thank the

people who make a difference in our lives.

―John F. Kennedy

Given the depth of the sadness I ‘m feeling, an unrelated, shadowy presence on a social media site, I can barely imagine the pain his family is feeling, and I have no way to express how profoundly I hope that they can find some solace here in this thread, at the outpouring of love and appreciation for their brother, brother-in-law, and uncle, and the universal mourning at his loss.

I’m deeply, deeply saddened by the loss of him, like something bright and good and healing has departed from my life. From all our lives.

 

[ljimbo423]

I just found this thread. My heart sank in my chest when I read that Pat had passed. I feel very sad.

I can't remember pat being anything but loving and supporting to me and others. He truly seemed to understand how I thought and felt and responded accordingly. I read the quote's he posted in the "Quote of the day" thread, almost every single day.

In light of @YippeeKi YOW !!'s second quote, above. Thank you Pat, you will be missed.

 

[Sushi]

This news hit me so hard last night. Like many of us who have known Pat for years I was devastated and still cannot stop crying. While we all saw his incredible kindness, fewer know how much his work as a volunteer on the tech staff helped PR move forward. He was instrumental to the upgrade to XenForo2.

But it is this quote which he shared with us that touches me deeply today:

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving something in its place I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss — good, not evil. Success, not failure in order that I shall not forget the price I paid for it.

―Heartsill Wilson

Today is his ‘tomorrow’ and I truly trust that his trade gained him deep peace.

 

[Mary]

I was so sorry when I heard this news! This illness is so cruel, unimaginably cruel for many, but Pat shone a light in the darkness - not an easy thing to do! He will be greatly missed - I too hope there's something after, and that he is doing much better - many thanks to his family for letting us know.

 

[Wolfcub]

I am very sad to hear this news. Pat was always a lovely light here in our community. He was helpful and kind.

My kind condolences to his family, and may his Soul be blessed. Thank you Pat, for everything you have done. You were appreciated.

 

[Rufous McKinney]

I greatly appreciate his family letting this group know...and if there is...anything we can do in his Honor...please share.

 

[Diwi9]

Thank you to all who have taken time to remember PatJ.

His sister has kindly provided us with the following message about Pat, and with two photos to share. I have shared a link to this thread with his sister so his family may be aware of his supportive impact on this community over the years and the friendships he built.

His battle with ME/CFS has come to an end. His Buddhist teachings say that Patrick has moved on to his next life. He is free to explore the world in a way he was never able to before. He was kind, gentle and wise. He lived with grace. He taught his niece and nephew so many valuable things over the years and was especially close with his neice Bailey. His family was so happy that he was able to take the trip of a lifetime to New Zealand earlier in his life and until his health no longer allowed it, Pat loved to be outside in nature walking his beloved dog Octavia. He always had a craft or educational activitiy to do with the kids. His knowledge of computers and computer programming never waivered despite his brain fog. His mind was a wonder. In his later years he lived life though his family who were always nearby. He was always surrounded by love. His generous, kind and compassionate spirit will live on through us. He will be so very missed.

 

[gbells]

I often read a lot of obituaries that are puff pieces that exaggerate people's accomplishments and lack any real sentiment from their aquaintances. These tributes tell me that PatJ meant a lot to people and that he lived a good life.

 

[Diwi9]

While we do not have an obituary to link at this time, Pat's sister, Shannon, has recommended the following for those that would like to do something in remembrance of Pat:

I would say to make a donation maybe to their local food bank or there’s was a Buddhist group he liked to support.
‘The Minding Centre’ www.themindingcentre.org/dharmafarer/

For those with limited funds I would say just live life with kindness and do something good for a fellow human.

Additionally, if you would like to contact his sister to send her a personal message, she has invited users to contact her directly. Please DM and I will provide you with her email address. As this is a public thread, I do not want to broadcast her email to non-registered users.

 

[YippeeKi YOW !!]

His sister has kindly provided us with the following message about Pat, and with two photos to share.

Oh, @Diwi9 , thank you from the pit of my shakey little heart for both the pictures and the additional message from his sister, Shannon.

Oddly, I always pictured him with a beard and glasses .... I have no idea why ....

Thank you again, Diwi, for your very thoughtful postings, its much appreciated, as well as the options for donations in his name ....

 

[Diwi9]

Pat's sister has shared a quote a family friend received which she believes was from Pat:

Additionally, Shannon wrote the following:

If any of his close friends on here would like to write him a letter I will print it off (I won’t read them) and it will be placed with him.
Letters can be emailed to me. Thank you for being such good friends to him.

I have provided Shannon's email to a few members upon request. If you would like it, please PM me.