ME/CFS Forums = IMEA
The directors of IMEA have burnt too many bridges to be credible -- they have insulted key members of many advocacy organizations, retrovirologists, physicians who treat CFS/ME, and members of their own forum, as well as this forum.
Thank you kjm for the important points you’ve made on this thread. I think your above paragraph is spot on, and I have observed the same. From my perspective, it sums up succinctly why anybody with ME/CFS should
very wary of having the leaders/directors of ME/CFS Forums representing our interests.
My own experience: Last year, I was invited by Wildaisy (Partricia Carter) to join their forum, and signed up shortly after. Each time I visited however, I saw a lot of what was described above, and generally stayed away. On one visit however, I felt Dr. Nancy Klimas was being treated disrespectfully by Gerwyn (apparently Gethin Price), and posted that I felt she deserved better than what she was getting.
My 3-4 posts (very mild in my opinion) resulted in a separate thread being started (with my name in it) by one of the members, pillorying me for apparently having the temerity to ask that a little more respect be shown to Dr. Klimas. Some members voiced strenuous objections to this thread; a moderator quickly locked it, until he/she had a chance to discuss it with Wildaisy, who I think is considered an administrator.
Wildaisy’s reply: We are not here to force members to show good manners. We are not here to babysit members. Just because someone finds a message distasteful or rude does not mean we lock the thread.
OK, to me, this is a failure of leadership. And now she wants to assume another leadership position with the IMEA representing us? I find this a little difficult to fathom, since she really doesn’t seem to care about the well being of those who come to visit/post on the ME/CFS forums.
Once her decision came down, it was a green light for others to join in. It soon degenerated into a free for all piling on thread. Many seemed to take great delight in the hilarity of this exercise. They made various comments suggesting how “free” they felt to post anything they wanted with no repercussions. Others however, objected strenuously. Parvofighter, from what I can gather is a respected member of both forums, posted the following:
Parvofighter's Reply: I am dismayed to see this forum disintegrate into outright, and sanctioned abuse of forum members who dare speak up against abuse-against-fellow-patients. This is waaaaay beyond an issue of "bad manners". It is nothing short of mean-spirited, tasteless bullying. It's Lord of the Flies all over again. And yes, I felt intimidated about posting this, those of you with the sticks. You have done a fine job of creating a culture of initimidation here. Talk about groupthink. It's sickening.
Here's the thing: I can choose to be a silent bystander. I can jump in and trash a forum member gratuitously. Or I can speak up. So I'm speaking up. Any of you who have fragile PEM know that stress, much less ridicule or abuse, can prompt a lengthy and debilitating crash. Shame on you for so gratuitously turning patient-beating into a sport. Why don't you form a private club and PM each other with your garbage. Just don't spread it around on what otherwise could be a fine scientific forum.
Belcanto and others, thank you for your voices of reason and humanity. For gawd's sake to the rest of you, focus your abundant energies on advocacy. This thread is a pathetic example of a science-based forum. If this is "freedom"... if this is advocacy: to publicly trash with gay abandon members who dare dissent from the party line - and to sanction it - then I want no part of it.
I'd much rather discuss Singh's latest oeuvre than muck around in this bull$hit. For crying out loud, show some integrity and clean up your act.
Another poster replied with the following:
Posted by Frickly: I just saw this thread and was shocked that the forum admins here would allow a thread based solely on mocking and hurting another forum member. This just sickens me. AND IT IS NOT FUNNY!
Keith Baker, one of directors of this new IMEA, seemed fairly distressed by what was transpiring, and posted several reasonable and responsible posts. He eventually made a point regarding the original post:
Keith Baker reply: I would also like to point out that I have and was disturbed by the line "like an anarexic locking the refrigerator" I have a cousin who is anorexic and my wife has bulemia and I think that allowing a statement to be tolerated like that no matter what the context is B.S.
Others agreed, and the originator of this thread eventually deleted his original post.
Gerwyn and Robyn both chimed in: Gerwyn felt I had gotten “what I deserved” and had some disdainful remarks regarding “gratuitous niceness”. Robyn argued for an un-moderated forum, and felt I at least didn’t have to worry about being banned. Perhaps she felt that should be some kind of consolation to me.
So, four of the five listed directors of this newly formed IMEA replied on that thread. Of those four, Keith Baker is the only one who comported himself in a way that would lead me to believe he could be trusted with a position of responsibility involving our interests. Robyn’s post was fairly neutral, but certainly did not display any leadership qualities I would look for in an influential advocate. Gerwyn and Patricia exhibited qualities that I feel should preclude them from ever being given license to speak for all of us.
Final thoughts: This IMEA, which is apparently attempting to represent all people with ME/CFS, seems to be essentially an offshoot of the ME/CFS Forums. If they want to create some kind of separate “advocacy arm” of the ME/CFS Forums, that’s fine with me. Just spell it out clearly, and don’t use an acronym that can be easily confused with any other ME association. If they are all so certain about the ideals they live by on that forum, then they should be able to create a name for themselves that can draw on the strength of that forum. Perhaps something like, “The Advocacy Arm of the ME/CFS Forums”.
Some may wonder why I ever decided to post on the ME/CFS Forums to begin with. In short, I was hoping I could perhaps “bridge” some of the differences between PR and this new ME/CFS Forums, something I had expressed on some of my PR posts. I was also hoping to “reconnect” with some friends/ acquaintances. Interestingly, two of the ones that I had looked forward to reconnecting with the most ended up joining in the piling on. Hard for me to figure out. I thought for sure they would refute some of the accusations being made against me (such as being a flamethrower and a troll). I guess the momentum of a piling on thread was too much for them to resist. Very strange behavior over there. Leadership from that forum seems like it could result in some very strange behavior in important advocacy situations. As I mentioned in an earlier post: No thank you.
Wayne