This is not a silly question at all!!!! It's frikin hard, and I'm still learning. It's a constant reassessment, as things can change from week to week. But here are a few things I have learned though that may be helpful?
-don't underestimate anything. I mean anything. Something as simple as how many times you went from sitting to standing, how long you were on a computer, a shower, a conversation, what "shouldn't" be considered over exertion unfortunately for us can be just too much
-payback (crash whatever you want to call it) can take way longer than a day to hit. I'm slowly learning this! For me it can take up to a week, which is crazy, a lot of things make more sense now that I have realized that!
-energy can be "fake". Ok, this one may not apply to everyone, but for me I will get adrenaline surges. When this happens I feel like I suddenly have a lot of energy, and I will want to do things, but I have learned the hard way it is fake energy. If I use it I crash hard. It's very confusing, and I still struggle with this one, but if I am able to ride it out and keep to my pacing, things are muuuuuch better!
I can definitely say that while pacing is not a cure, it has helped me feel more stable. the lows are not quite as low, and that can make a world of difference! I hope that's a little bit helpful? Just remember it's is haaaaaarrrd so don't be too tough on yourself!