I say'F*ck it.
Ya know, I agree with you, Wishful. Although a few years ago, it would never have occurred to me that a diminished cognitive state would affect my ability to perform the most basic physical tasks. But now
I’ve noticed that when I’m
overheated, overly-tired, or in pain, about halfway through the simplest of projects (even those I ordinarily enjoy doing), I lose all motivation and purpose, and end up making a terrible mess of things. Case in point: A month ago while simply trying to replace a cheap plastic toilet seat, I became very uncomfortable, and rather than stop and think it through, I began hitting the toilet seat with a hammer. As a result, I not only shattered an expensive porcelain toilet, I flooded the bathroom, cut my hand on a piece of porcelain, and ended up in the ER with seven stitches. I would have been better off if I’d just said F*ck it!
It’s embarrassing discussing this out loud. But before CFS, I was never a klutz. In fact, I always prided myself on being organized and patient. There is an old saying: “Going about (fill in the blank) like killing snakes,” which I think means—without a plan, or without thinking. But that is me—post ME/CFS. Going about my life killing snakes!