Hi everyone, I hope I haven't completely exhausted the forum's attention yet because I wanted to share something else. Like a lot of the other stuff I've posted related to spirituality, you will only agree with this post if you already know it to some degree and can recognize it. This isn't something you can analyze and agree with me on.
There is a phenomenon that happens in life in which when we experience a deep loss or painful event, other aspects of our lives, often completely unrelated, become uprooted and questioned. Here are a couple of articles I quickly googled that describe what I mean:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...e/201010/why-certain-life-events-lead-divorce
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/qt/losstriggersmidlifecrisis.htm
My intention for posting the articles is only to show how common and universal this is; I disagree with the analysis of why this happens. I want to propose that this doubt and upheaval that we feel in other areas of our life after experiencing pain and loss has no logical or rational basis. For instance, we rationally know that the loss of a loved one is a possibility and should have no impact on how we feel about our job or marriage, but it sometimes does.
I also want to propose that this doubt isn't motivated by emotion either. This one is trickier, but my point is that our universal emotional reaction to pain is to protect ourselves, avoid change, and be risk averse. The doubt and potential upheaval is the opposite of that.
Rather than being based in logic and/or emotion, I have come to realize that this event is intuitive. By intuitive, I simply mean it doesn't come from us and is always true. The message we are being sent during our times of deepest pain is that our coping strategies, our habits of pain relief are unsatisfactory.
You see we all have various ways that we relieve pain. When we are in crisis situations, those ways get surfaced and exposed as ultimately unsatisfactory. When someone loses a close relative and then soon after questions their marriage, it's not based on logic or emotion; it's that person's intuition saying you were using your marriage to cover your pain, to fulfill you in some way, and it can't do that. It's the same message to the person who begins to doubt their religion after, for instance, a near death experience.
That message the pain is communicating to us is meant to help and guide. However, there is another voice that we hear after our intuitive message. This voice IS emotional and based in fear, deceit, and over-protection. This voice is risk averse and rationalizes our past decisions to avoid change and uncertainty.
So, you have someone who gets fired, begins to doubt their religion, but then decides that if they just pray more and keep the faith, then everything will be okay. Can you see how this works? Or you have someone who thinks that money will make them happy, and then when they experience a loss and doubt their path, they rationalize and then double down on making even more money.
Now, let's relate this to dealing with chronic illness. We all have our hopes in something, our ways of coping. We also constantly experience rough periods where we face upheaval and feel like giving up. We can choose to be drawn into our pain, where the guidance of our intuition is, or we can get caught up in the emotional reaction, clinging to our preferred coping methods.
If you can see some potential truth in what I've laid out, then here is my advice. When dealing with the day-to-day pains of chronic illness, use those moments as opportunities to build resilience. Choose to transcend the pain and emotional reaction by practicing mindfulness. Train yourself in this way and then prime yourself to be prepared when facing the eventual crisis time. Constantly remind yourself that when you face that doubt and upheaval that you are going to take advantage of it by facing the pain and connecting to your intuition. Build resilience, be prepared, and then execute in the moment. This entire thing is a struggle. Chronic illness allows us to take risks and be courageous since opportunity cost is low and we have motivation for change.
There is a phenomenon that happens in life in which when we experience a deep loss or painful event, other aspects of our lives, often completely unrelated, become uprooted and questioned. Here are a couple of articles I quickly googled that describe what I mean:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...e/201010/why-certain-life-events-lead-divorce
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/qt/losstriggersmidlifecrisis.htm
My intention for posting the articles is only to show how common and universal this is; I disagree with the analysis of why this happens. I want to propose that this doubt and upheaval that we feel in other areas of our life after experiencing pain and loss has no logical or rational basis. For instance, we rationally know that the loss of a loved one is a possibility and should have no impact on how we feel about our job or marriage, but it sometimes does.
I also want to propose that this doubt isn't motivated by emotion either. This one is trickier, but my point is that our universal emotional reaction to pain is to protect ourselves, avoid change, and be risk averse. The doubt and potential upheaval is the opposite of that.
Rather than being based in logic and/or emotion, I have come to realize that this event is intuitive. By intuitive, I simply mean it doesn't come from us and is always true. The message we are being sent during our times of deepest pain is that our coping strategies, our habits of pain relief are unsatisfactory.
You see we all have various ways that we relieve pain. When we are in crisis situations, those ways get surfaced and exposed as ultimately unsatisfactory. When someone loses a close relative and then soon after questions their marriage, it's not based on logic or emotion; it's that person's intuition saying you were using your marriage to cover your pain, to fulfill you in some way, and it can't do that. It's the same message to the person who begins to doubt their religion after, for instance, a near death experience.
That message the pain is communicating to us is meant to help and guide. However, there is another voice that we hear after our intuitive message. This voice IS emotional and based in fear, deceit, and over-protection. This voice is risk averse and rationalizes our past decisions to avoid change and uncertainty.
So, you have someone who gets fired, begins to doubt their religion, but then decides that if they just pray more and keep the faith, then everything will be okay. Can you see how this works? Or you have someone who thinks that money will make them happy, and then when they experience a loss and doubt their path, they rationalize and then double down on making even more money.
Now, let's relate this to dealing with chronic illness. We all have our hopes in something, our ways of coping. We also constantly experience rough periods where we face upheaval and feel like giving up. We can choose to be drawn into our pain, where the guidance of our intuition is, or we can get caught up in the emotional reaction, clinging to our preferred coping methods.
If you can see some potential truth in what I've laid out, then here is my advice. When dealing with the day-to-day pains of chronic illness, use those moments as opportunities to build resilience. Choose to transcend the pain and emotional reaction by practicing mindfulness. Train yourself in this way and then prime yourself to be prepared when facing the eventual crisis time. Constantly remind yourself that when you face that doubt and upheaval that you are going to take advantage of it by facing the pain and connecting to your intuition. Build resilience, be prepared, and then execute in the moment. This entire thing is a struggle. Chronic illness allows us to take risks and be courageous since opportunity cost is low and we have motivation for change.