Okay folks, this is exactly why I don't think FeLV is the best model for comparison to XMRV. FeLV
is strongly contagious through saliva and a group of cats (say in a shelter) can spread it among themselves fairly rapidly. We have NO evidence XMRV is transmitted this way and the pattern of illness suggests it is not highly contagious through saliva. If it were, we'd have a much larger infected group and much bigger outbreaks. All I had to do was mention FeLV is transmitted through saliva and WE, of all people, are starting to go off the rails.
We don't know, yet, how XMRV is transmitted, but it does not appear to be highly contagious. HIV is not highly contagious except through certain very specific routes. Blood to blood is very bad. Sexual transmission is somewhere about 1 in 10 exposures to an infected person. We could be contagious in the same way, although I'd expect to see more long-term sexual partners who both have ME/CFS. We'll know more when more people are tested for XMRV, though.
Also, I believe the incubation period, as in HIV, is fairly long. That means if you know you got something from a specific kiss, it isn't a retrovirus. You don't get sick within a few hours after exposure to a retrovirus. Even mono (in it's various forms -- EBV, HHV6, etc) has a 4-7 week incubation period, meaning you won't get sick until a month or two after exposure.
Some of the docs are talking about a double-whammy -- maybe you need XMRV plus something else to get ME/CFS. For example, herpesviruses (HSV, VZV, EBV, CMV, HHV6, etc) are known to reactivate each other an may have a similar effect on XMRV.
Or it may be as simple (hah!) as a genetic predisposition. Something in our immune systems doesn't deal as effectively with XMRV as other people's do, so they extinguish it immediately and we don't. If that's the case, we may be highly contagious, but it only matters if you're one of the 5% of the population who can't extinguish it.
As difficult as it is, we need to wait for the research. In the meantime, don't give blood, use safe sex, and maybe avoid spitting on or tongue-kissing babies, the elderly and others with weak immune systems.