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Crashed. Stress, screen time and pushing myself.

Jemima37

Senior Member
Messages
407
Location
UK
I started in a crash last Tuesday. Very dizzy and weak first 3 days then the dizziness eased and now I just feel so drained, like I’ve zero energy. When I’m upright it’s an overwhelming feeling I need to lie down again quick I feel so woozy and just drained head to toe.
I’m not sure what caused it other than stress and screens.

Last weekend my mum pooped round to see my son to collect some cake we offered her from his birthday earlier that week. I don’t have much of a relationship with my mum since my brother assaulted me in 2012, and my mother and sisters cut ties with me when they hurled abuse at me and resented me for not forgiving and accepting him back into my life. My mum wanted me back, was sorry and so we started to text eachother last year and the occasional phone call, but it’s never felt ok again after what happened. I’m trying.

She arrived, ignored the social distancing and kept getting closer and closer to my son in the garden and at one point held his phone to look at some photos. Really stressful as my husband didn’t speak up and ask her to stand back 2 metres. I didn’t go outside as I’m still not ready to see my mum for valid reasons. So after she left it resulted in me feeling so stressed that she may have put us at risk as we’ve isolated for 12 weeks and she’s been mixing with my brother and sisters despite lockdown rules. I felt super stressed and it broke back to the surface my mum doesn’t care about my wellbeing as she’s not once supported me through my health issues despite knowing about them she never reached out to support me.

I have also been on my phone a lot, on Instagram, chatting this friends, scrolling etc and just generally overdoing it on my screens. I think possibly this also has caused me to crash as I find screens a huge trigger if I go on them too long. Anyone else?

I tried to go downstairs yesterday and this morning to just polish the surfaces and see my dogs etc but each time I just get this overwhelming feeling I need to lie down. My whole body feels heavy and drained. Like on a hot day when you feel you’re dragging your tired heavy body round, similar to that. Just drained and like I’m heavy. As soon as I sit up off my bed to go to the bathroom, I take 2 steps and there’s that feeling I need to lie down, like being upright is something I can’t do right now. I don’t feel light headed, it’s just a foggy head and very heavy drained body.

It’s so frustrating because I crashed for a year 2 years ago and I didn’t go downstairs for months on end. I’d got all that back, I could do light chores, cook a few times a week, pop in my garden to see my rabbits etc so to lose it all again recently has worried me.

Im still showering and washing my hair in the mornings but then resting all day as my crash just isn’t lifting. I’m trying to surrender and say it’s ok to not go downstairs, it’s no big deal as hubby and the kids take all the jobs on and tell me it’s fine. My husband is used to doing most of the housework since I fell ill a couple of years ago, but I hate it as I was doing 50% share again in the last year but in the last 3 months I have been feeling more fatigued again and doing about 30% and mainly keeping upstairs all tidy, hoovered and polished upstairs and downstairs. Hubby and kids keep downstairs rooms tidy, hubby does the cooking and laundry. Team work but it’s hard as I was doing all the laundry again and I enjoyed that. I think because everyone’s been home these 3 months I’ve not had adequate rest and it’s been a stressful, worrying time for everyone. Then since I crashed a week ago I can barely help at all not been my 30%, I’m managing to spray and wipe the bathroom sink, toilet etc down each day but that’s all I can manage this last week and that’s hard. I tried to hoover upstairs and felt terrible so had to stop.

My husbands told me to do nothing but after how ill I was in 2018 and how I did nothing during that time, I like to keep momentum going so that I never fall back to that woman I was that awful year. So crashes and losing my achievements each day is hard mentally for me. Doing nothing just triggers thoughts about that bad year. All the guilt and shame I felt etc

Does anyone else crash from stress? From screens? Anyone else not able to go downstairs for prolonged periods of time? I keep making myself go downstairs just once a day to polish the surfaces as a reason to go down, once I achieve it I rest all day but I don’t find it easy, I feel terrible the whole time. I just don’t want to become ‘bedroom girl’ again, as my lovely step father used to call me when my CFS issues began 4 years ago, another reason I have very little to do with my extended family. I used to still let mum and step dad visit for a while after the assault, just to see the kids and I’d stay out the way but 3 years ago I stopped their visits and they met my kids at their home instead, as he used to say such awful things about me and my mum allowed. I just worry everyone must think that when I become upstairs bound, what must my kids think of me, I’m not a normal mum around the house, sitting in the living room as a family. I get frustrated at myself and remember those words my step dad called me.

Sorry this got so long. I’ve had an up and down 3 months battling this in my mind and since I crashed hard a week ago those worried and negative thoughts about myself, I’m letting my family down, ruining my children’s childhood resting a lot and not being like to be like other well mums busy around the house etc, the thoughts and guilt get louder in my head.

On a plus, my first born turned 18 this month. I can’t believe it. I’ll attach a photo of me and my son that evening after we did his cake and candles. We had a nice dav celebrating at home together, even in lockdown 💖

I hope you’re all doing well and keeping safe 🌸💖
 

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Rebeccare

Moose Enthusiast
Messages
9,066
Location
Massachusetts
I’m not sure what caused it other than stress and screens.
I'm too tired to say much, but stress and screens are causing even healthy people to become exhausted right now. So it makes sense that they would be making you crash, too!

All you can do is your best, nothing more.

You've made so much progress in the last year or two, and I think that progress will continue. But it's important to be kind to yourself and also to listen to your body.

I'm glad that you took the time to celebrate your son's birthday!

I wonder if it making a list of the household chores that is ranked by how easy they are for you to do physically might help you make good decisions about what you're able to do. You might even try breaking down those tasks and seeing if there are pieces of the task that you could do (so even if you didn't have the energy to do the laundry, maybe someone could bring you the laundry once it's clean and dry and you could fold it?). I think that vacuuming (that's what we call 'hoovering' here in the States) is very difficult! No wonder you had to stop! But if you stick with chores that take less energy, you could still help with the housework without as much exertion.
 

Likaloha

Senior Member
Messages
343
Location
Midwest usa
RebeccaRe had a great suggestion...breaking down tasks and doing small pieces as you are able! My hubby takes laundry downstairs and washed and dried it, but he it up to me and I told and sort as much as I am able. For dinner sometimes I just get out the condiments or maybe cut up tomatoes for salad. Glad you could celebrate your son's birthday!
 

Tammy

Senior Member
Messages
2,187
Location
New Mexico
That heavy feeling like you are being pulled down is rated as one of my top 3 worst symptoms. I think I hated that one the most. I rarely experience that symptom anymore and if I do it is not as intense as it used to be. Anyway...............sending hugs your way. The only thing I can suggest is to take it as easy as possible and not push the envelope even a little bit if you can help it. Try not to let a lot of time go by between getting some kind of food in you.
 

Rufous McKinney

Senior Member
Messages
13,390
I’m not sure what caused it other than stress and screens.

Whatever it is causes our crashes, its important to rest in order to feel better. I find it simply never works to keep at things when I'm cycling downward.:yuck:

Stress and screens: nearly killed me working, the last few years almost all on the computer.

We are fighting against gravity. Feeling Gravity's Pull (REM song). I notice how inviting, simply collapsing where-ever, might be. Any log, boulder, step, bench, chair- anywhere- I will gaze longingly at it.

I am finally a bit more functional on a day to day basis after literally being dysfunctional for 5 straight months- just one crash after another, dental stuff, flu stuff, ME stuff. I had to do vast amounts of nearly nothing, in order to get a bit of energy back.

:hug:
 

Likaloha

Senior Member
Messages
343
Location
Midwest usa
That heavy feeling like you are being pulled down is rated as one of my top 3 worst symptoms. I think I hated that one the most. I rarely experience that symptom anymore and if I do it is not as intense as it used to be. Anyway...............sending hugs your way. The only thing I can suggest is to take it as easy as possible and not push the envelope even a little bit if you can help it. Try not to let a lot of time go by between getting some kind of food in you.
You described exactly the feeling I get....the heavy feeling like I am being pulled down! It is everyday and takes all I have to often just get up!