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Are emotions really that important?

Messages
53
I’ve done all therapies for cfs

Mickel Therapy, reverse therapy, lightning process etc

They all get you in touch with your emotions and bring them up but is it really worth it?

For example I was in my teens when I first started them and I’d say something like ‘when I’m near my mum I feel like really negative emotions’ the therapist sits there and nods their head or says something like ‘that must be tough for you ‘

Then you leave the therapy and you have all this negative emotion brought to the surface and I’d sometimes collapse or be sick in the street and obviously it made me worse


Their beliefs seem to be well you bring the emotion up and then release it and you’re less stressed

But how do you do that?

For example I have the diary from 15 years ago when I started it and I wrote in ‘seen my mum and I was sick’ they don’t tell you how to deal with that

And today my mum phoned me up and I needed to sleep for five hours

I guess knowing what makes you ill they see as important but is there a way to deal with this negative emotions


I know I should maybe ask them but they’re not approachable and they play mind games so it’s not easy


What do you think
 

lafarfelue

Senior Member
Messages
433
Location
Australia
I’ve done all therapies for cfs

Mickel Therapy, reverse therapy, lightning process etc

They all get you in touch with your emotions and bring them up but is it really worth it?

For example I was in my teens when I first started them and I’d say something like ‘when I’m near my mum I feel like really negative emotions’ the therapist sits there and nods their head or says something like ‘that must be tough for you ‘

Then you leave the therapy and you have all this negative emotion brought to the surface and I’d sometimes collapse or be sick in the street and obviously it made me worse


Their beliefs seem to be well you bring the emotion up and then release it and you’re less stressed

But how do you do that?

For example I have the diary from 15 years ago when I started it and I wrote in ‘seen my mum and I was sick’ they don’t tell you how to deal with that

And today my mum phoned me up and I needed to sleep for five hours

I guess knowing what makes you ill they see as important but is there a way to deal with this negative emotions


I know I should maybe ask them but they’re not approachable and they play mind games so it’s not easy


What do you think


Have you tried EMDR therapy? I get similar things to you when I interact with my mother. And since undertaking EMDR, my 'reactivity' to interactions with my mother has reduced significantly.

It requires a few sessions but essentially retrains your brain to engage with certain emotions/triggers differently. With EMDR, there is little to no need to keep talking through and reliving bad experiences.

It's a good therapy for trauma, including interpersonal interactions, and may help with what you're experiencing.

Also, there are different kinds of therapy and therapists... it might also be worth shopping around for a therapy and therapist who works with you better. Discussing why interactions with your mother make you worse and what kinds of mechanisms you can use to reduce the issues you experience. For me, if they don't do that kind of work with you, they aren't doing their job and should be fired. Nothing is worth continually reliving bad experiences and getting sick(er) again and again.

Ps. What I'm suggesting isn't for a 'cure' for ME/CFS, but for everyday living without/with less stress and trauma, which can in turn help with managing ME/CFS thing much much better.
 

Judee

Psalm 46:1-3
Messages
4,404
Location
Great Lakes
I know I should maybe ask them but they’re not approachable and they play mind games so it’s not easy

Unfortunately, not everyone who becomes a mental health professional should have. (I guess that goes for doctors too.)

I tend to think the profession attracts people who want to feel superior to others. That is not to say everyone is a bad fit for that line of work. There are good doctors and good mental health professionals. I think some have a real calling. However, I have to say that I think a large number of them go into it just to have a license to judge others.

I could tell so many stories from my work life--one "professional" who moved his office location across town but forgot to inform his patients he was moving..."Um, I'm here for my appointment but the office seems...gone!!?? Like, can you tell me where I'm suppose to go for my appointment." :jaw-drop:

Another "professional" who called our company in a complete panic because "someone is trying to break into my office right now!!!" Then getting another call on another line from a patient saying, "Um, I'm here for my appointment but the door is locked." So first worker tells "professional," "Ah, that's your two o'clock appointment, Sir."

(And these two guys are not related in any way.) :wide-eyed: :eek:

For a personal experience, I have a great relationship with my mom and one of my therapists that I only went to about 2 times, was perpetually angry at hers so she hated it that I was close to mine. She thought there was something wrong with that and with me. :bang-head:

(I could tell soooo many more stories; they all have people of that profession in common.)

I'm saying all that because you seem to have a sense of what is going on in your situation. And I don't know the particulars, I know it can be very difficult if agencies or family members are compelling you to go to this lady, but you have to trust yourself too.

If this therapist isn't helpful to you, makes you more stressed afterward, or tends to project things onto you by playing "mind games," maybe you should seek another person to talk to. If she is just having you regurgitate the bad stuff but not giving you tools and thoughts to help you deal with those feelings in a way that is helpful to you (like relief valves) then it may really be the right time to look for someone else.

I'll pray for you to get some peace in your situations. I think you have more wisdom then these other people are giving you credit for.
 
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taniaaust1

Senior Member
Messages
13,054
Location
Sth Australia
And today my mum phoned me up and I needed to sleep for five hours

I guess knowing what makes you ill they see as important but is there a way to deal with this negative emotions

The only good thing about knowing your ME triggers is making sure you then can avoid them. If something makes you sick, maybe you should stop doing it! Many people here have had to cut off family members cause they make them ill due to the peoples negativity. Or it could be being on the phone is just too draining with your level of ME and nothing to do with negativity.. the answer then is just to cut back.

If you have been in therapy for years and it hasnt helped, seriously consider that the therapy is the wrong one for what you are trying to treat. Some "cfs" has been treated by talk therapies but ME certainly isnt treatable like that.

If your therapy isnt helping and making you worst.. Let your therapists know this! and if they cant be open with you, get rid of them and make sure you let them know they didnt help (so they dont think you have stopped therapy due to feeling better.. that happened to me when I stopped seeing a dr cause he wasnt helping.. he told other drs then I'd stopped seeing him as I was better so i strongly suggest to let them know the therapy didnt work)
 
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percyval577

nucleus caudatus et al
Messages
1,302
Location
Ik waak up
I tend to think the profession attracts people who want to feel superior to others. That is not to say everyone is a bad fit for that line of work. There are good doctors and good mental health professionals. I think some have a real calling. However, I have to say that I think a large number of them go into it just to have a license to judge others.
I can only agree. If you don´t come with a halfway typical problem or, maybe, have surprisingly luck to meet a person you understand very well with, you may nothing gain. In my experience you even get harmed. You can be lucky if it is only psychlogical.
It´s like kindergarden.