quit my benzo? is that even possible?
I'm afraid that without it, I suffer from paralysing anxiety, although I'll never know at this point if it is a withdrawal symptom or a ME symptom, since wen I started taking it, my anxiety issues were much more moderate
It's possible - I'm tapering off lorazepam after using it for 10 years for sleep. Benzo buddies is a really good website with extremely useful information on how to do it. You have to go very slowly so that your body can adapt.
Severe insomnia was my worst symptom when I started tapering, but have a found of combination of non-drug supplements which are making sleep possible: niacin (it stimulates GABA receptors, which is the calming neurotransmitter) or niacinamide, inositol (enhances effect of GABA), l-theanine (helps brain produce GABA), Theanine Serene (a product by Source Naturals which has calming stuff in it), melatonin, 5-htp - helps the brain produce serotonin.
Also, Relora is very good for calming down.
The problem with staying on a benzo as I'm sure you know is that you develop a tolerance for it, and thus need more and more and in the long run it creates more problems than it solves.