Bras!

[Calathea]

There we are, that caught your attention.

A few years ago, I realised that I had a major bra problem. Even with the right size, underwired bras were becoming horribly painful and that was just while I was vertical. They were hopeless when I lay down, but if I skipped wearing a bra then I felt a bit uncomfortable (I'm bosomy) plus I didn't feel decently dressed for if I had to answer the door, or just generally looking nice for being about the flat. And nipping out occasionally is quite enough exhaustion without having to strip off my top half to put a bra on first.

I tried softcup bras first but found that they still hurt when I lay down, as if someone had tied a wire around my ribs and pulled. Apparently this is because the diaphragm expands when you lie down. Eventually I discovered maternity sleep bras, the sort which are extremely stretchy both on the cups and on the band. The ones I like are the Bravado Body Silk Seamless and the Fertile Mind Superbra. I hear that some people do well with sports bras too.

Does anyone have any other clothing tips?

 

[hurtingallthetimet]

helllo sorry im not the best person for advice on any kind of clothing but wanted to respond and you probably already know but the most comfortable thing is pjs...i wear pjs all the time..except when going out im too embarassed..i usually wear sweats when out...loose is best...but i have seen others wearing pjs when out and i think nothing of it but im just to hard i guess on myself to do it..

i use to try to dress nice and look good...the more sick i got the less i was able to that and i do miss it...i usally buy the cheapest bras which i know arent the best but im use to them...and i know no matter what i wear i will still be in pain...

i hope that get lots of great advice and tips....

 

[Valentijn]

I go entirely bra-less, and wear loose T-shirts (or sometimes dressy shirts) in dark colours when in public.

 

[Calathea]

I find that the problem with living in PJs is that it's depressing to feel that you're never actually dressed. I did this for years and it really wasn't good for my mood. It's not good now that I'm in a relationship either, come to that. The other thing is that it simply gets too cold in the winter. So I live in comfortable trousers, generally cords in the winter and linen blend in the summer (which isn't so much about the fabric as it is about finding something that fits), and cotton tops. I'm a big fan of big warm cardis which are easy to shrug off when my temperature is hopping up and down, although the ones I use at the moment are so long that I have to tie them around my waist when I go to the loo.

I would love to be able to go braless comfortably! I'm unlikely to get smaller than a D cup unless I end up significantly underweight, and a DD is more likely, so not much chance of that happening. Hurt, are you finding that you're in pain specifically from wearing a bra? If so, what sort?

 

[sianrecovery]

I went to a Donna eden training, and she was scathing about underwired bras, saying that from a subtle energy point of view they were a disaster because they stopped the flow of energy through key meridians . Before anyone else posts - yes, I know, no evidence base, entirely opinion. I have the same issues as you mention with bras discomfort, and feel underdressed going out without one - I have found a cotton bra with no underwire the best compromise. Maybe the whole haywire hormones thing in ME makes us more sensitive.

 

[Calathea]

I think the problem with subtle energy approaches and the like is that when you're this severely disabled, following their recommendations can actually make your life worse. Not being able to have anything electrical near my bed would seriously mess up my life, for instance, as I'm reliant on the computer, phone, electric heating pad and so forth and have to spend most of my life in bed. Plus the usual problems with lack of proof, dubious underlying theories etc.

A friend of mine has said she's going to try out a type of stretchy bra which comes in cotton, so I'll be interested to hear how it works out for her. It's called the Magic Bra from Eden House, as I recall, and it's the first one which I've seen in the UK which isn't sold as a maternity bra. (You get used to ringing up maternity bra shops and saying, "Let me begin by explaining that I'm not pregnant...") I also forgot to mention that when I get premenstrual breast pain (which right now is having a party - it tends to go with a higher chance of a PMDD anxiety attack, as my GP correctly pointed out, so this could be an interesting week of it) my stretchy bras are an absolute lifesaver. Plus they are very forgiving of breasts which can go up a size for a week or two every month.

Do you think it's the haywire hormones making us more sensitive to underwires? I'd have thought it was more to do with pain perception in general, including skin pain. I go through phases when the elasticated bit at the top of my socks hurts, as a random example, and I have to be much more careful about fabric choices these days. Although is skin pain affected by hormones? Muscular tension certainly is, I've been getting menstrual migraines since I was 15, and off the top of my head I can't remember whether my joint/tendon pain follows a cyclical pattern. I honestly can't pinpoint exactly when my usual bras became too uncomfortable to wear, and there's been so much that varies over the years, including my weight. It was a few years after I started getting PMDD and cyclical breast pain, though, so I don't think it's the same as that. I recently tried on some of my old underwired bras to see if I could wear them for special occasions, and despite being careful to get the right size (I had bras in four sizes by that point), they were surprisingly unpleasant to wear.

 

[L'engle]

I find anything binding like underwire or tight socks fairly uncomfortable. A sports bra or stretchy camisole is more comfortable for me and the camisole gives you an extra layer of warmth in winter. I often cut the ankle bands off of socks to avoid having them bind on my legs, too.

 

[WillowJ]

I used to think I didn't like underwires until I got one that actually fit. Now I get mostly just one brand and style. Then I discovered sports bras, which I like a lot; some days even my good-fit normal (non-sports) ones hurt.

And under my pj's, those camisoles with shelf bras (not the expensive outerwear kind, but the multi-pack ones you can sometimes find, say at Costco, with the pj's), or a no-foam (cheap) sports bra. The camisole is a particularly nice option because, like L'engle said it gives you another layer of warmth, but also you can tuck it into your waistband to keep that off your skin (some of my pj's have elastic waist, not so comfy).

 

[justy]

Calathea - i hear you! bras are driving me mad too. Cant live with em, cant live without em!

 

[hurtingallthetimet]

I find that the problem with living in PJs is that it's depressing to feel that you're never actually dressed. I did this for years and it really wasn't good for my mood. It's not good now that I'm in a relationship either, come to that. "

i can see how you feel about that...it is kinda depressing to me also living in pjs..but im at a point im so ill its the most comfortable for me and works best for me at the time...it doesnt bother me unless one of kids friends come over etc. i always tell them to let me know before hand though so i can change...im sure they wouldnt notice at all but i feel better not letting people see me in my pjs all the time..i use to like to dress nice so thats a bummer...its funny though as i said sometimes i see others out shopping in pjs and houseshoes...i dont know if its a new fashion thing for teens but see it alot and they are bouncy and lively like they are proud of it lol....

 

[Merry]

its funny though as i said sometimes i see others out shopping in pjs and houseshoes...i dont know if its a new fashion thing for teens but see it alot and they are bouncy and lively like they are proud of it lol....

Thanks, HATT, for your report on the latest "bouncy and lively" fashion trend. I want to keep up! Just a few weeks ago I was surprised to find out (read the news online) that women no longer wear pantyhose. When did this happen that women stopped wearing pantyhose? Where have I been? I can't decide if this is good news or bad news.

 

[Sallysblooms]

I see teens in pj's too. Not sure why. Just as easy to dress in a blouse and jeans.

Merry, few people wear panty hose now. I like to wear tights and boots though. No hose at all unless really dressed up.

 

[Calathea]

I had no idea either. Evidently this trend vanished while I was feeling smug about wearing corduroy trousers to lounge about in instead of PJs. I feel faintly embarrassed about occasionally going out in the one pair of tracksuit bottoms I own, to be honest, but that's partly because I look awful in pale grey, partly because I have mentally flagged them up as nightwear (for me, I mean, along with various retired cotton tops and old dresses - this confuses my support workers no end), partly because I'm not used to showing the lines of my backside quite that clearly, and partly because I've never been sporty and feel dead silly in something that has a big white stripe down the sides. I am thinking of being very daring and picking up some plain black jogging bottoms in the sales, though.

I can't remember seeing people out in public in their jammies, however, and I live in a student district. There was an article about it in the BBC a while back, where they were talking about people who go to the supermarket in their PJs as exceptionally rare. I think the supermarket in question had been asking people to leave if they turned up in their nightwear.

 

[Merry]

What year was this, Sally, when women stopped wearing pantyhose?

When last did I attend a social event? Any time within the last decade? I have a vague memory of wearing men's support knee socks under a tartan skirt in a church basement. Maybe that was a bad dream.

 

[Sallysblooms]

I don't know the year, just slowly went away. Too hot in summer for sure. Open toe shoes, sandles, etc. made them be worn less and less.

 

[L'engle]

Merry, I remember people still wearing them when I was a kid in the 80s. I wore them sometimes in high school but they were always uncomfortable to me. The thick material tights now without feet in them are much easier to fit and more comfortable (not that I own any). Though generally I wear trousers/pants (pants means underwear in the UK?). Once you go into yoga pants (trousers) and such nothing else seems comfortable , except loose cords, etc.

Thanks for the vivid image Merry, it does sound like some kind of nightmare

 

[Dainty]

Of course first thing is make sure you have a proper fit. This page has some good notes on that. A lot of women wear an incorrect size because department stores are rather limited in the range of sizes stocked and don't carry what that woman needs.

Any place that will make inbetween sizes or do alterations is worth looking into. Decent Exposures is a good one that I know of. All bras are made to order and fully customizable, with after sale adjustments free of charge within 60 days of purchase.

Another possibility you might look into is corsets. Many women find them surprisingly comfortable as the pressure, while tight, is distributed evenly to the torso (some say it's like a hug). It also provides back support. The main downsides are the cost and temporary breathing constriction.

 

[Calathea]

I've heard good things about Decent Exposures too, although I haven't tried them.

Nice link there. Bravissimo, while I don't buy there as they're at least twice the price of other bra shops, also have an excellent website section on bra fitting. I spent ages trying to find a comfortable strapless bra in a 32DD years ago, and by the time I'd been into every store lingerie department and bra shop in town, I knew exactly how to fit myself for a bra. I just don't find them comfortable any longer unless they're the ultra-stretchy sort. It's all very well for people to write guides saying that underwires aren't uncomfortable unless you are wearing the wrong size - while I'm sure that's usually the reason for such problems, some of us do genuinely have pain syndromes which make an underwired bra uncomfortable even if it's a beautiful fit. Like those of us who get attacked by the elasticated bit at the top of socks! (Incidentally, does anyone else here have dermographism?)

I am also possibly the only known person to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show and comment that Susan Sarandon was wearing an incredibly badly-fitting bra. It was riding way up at the back. Scandalous.

 

[Merry]

Yes, Calathea, you are the only person to make such a comment while watching Rocky Horror Picture Show.

 

[sianrecovery]

all this talk of bras has had an advertising type effect on me, I dragged myself out today and bought a cotton non-underwired one from M&S. Its not bad. They are kind of like a tie would be for a guy for me, I wear them when I have too...I think the skin sensitivity is like the sensitivity to light, to sound etc so many of us report - our dial is set high, and we experience sensation more intensely.