3 years : 1st positive post
by
Feanor » Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:00 pm
Hi everyone, this is a long due, first positive post
It's been 3 years since i started to follow Dr Amy's guidelines.
I had very positive throught those years, however it’s the first time I go through the whole process of writing a positive post.
I've give up on writing the "perfect" positive Dr Amy deserves and that i postponed for several years.
I can’t thank enough for the whole protocol of Dr Amy.
History
When I was young, I had only a discret version of Asperger syndrome, mostly difficulties to establish relationship (except with a few people).
Talking was excellent (except during high stress situations), and academically I had much ease.
I have schizophrenia. I almost can say I had schizophrenia, however residual aspect have reemerged with the daily stress.
I was not diagnosed, however it's plainly obvious for me now.
Schizophrenia came gradually from my 16’s, and then suddenly in 2003 after some major stress and a dtp vaccine.
Some paranoia, but mostly delusions (seeing anythings as a part of a big plan). After the DTP shot, tremendous motor/langage difficulty. I could spend hours doing nothing, or doing barely nothing in a video game.
The harder was the almost full loss of my logical thinking, which back then was like going through a rope bridge, swinging around, going really slow just to elaborate a rightful sentence.
Reading, saying meaningful sentences became hugely hard.
The way all of this set up in my youth, I thought at first getting back my previous life was impossible.
I could spend a day to read a page on a book, no matter it was a TV program or the book of Dr Deth.
To sum up, i've been completely disorganised for several years, a real mess.
By that time i tried to grab informations about vitamins that could help me.
Healing
At first I tried to grab information about vitamins here and there, to help me finish the master I was doing (a year of cognitive science after 4 years of computer science).
This forum was the first where i saw a comprehensive view of how various pathways tie together, and i've been charmed by how beautiful and subtile the approach and the whole theory were.
I needed some time to get into the philosophy.
I remember the genetic test results have been at first a schock, and slowly the pieces tied better together, as my reactions to random vitamins before.
The best improvements I had are with anything that tie to the gut, anti-microbial, B12 of course as can be deduced by my genetics.
I also have impressive results with NADH/niacinamide, other energy related compound, and again gut support for motor difficulties.
Now it seems like those years from 2003 were all a strange and long dream, not really a nightmare as things have seemed unreal, fake, like a very slow paced movie, spotted with scarce "high"-experience time during which i could "live" each note of a music or scenery.
The recall of my Childhood was such a different perception that I even doubted it ever existed several times.
My worries were not to see the remaining of my essence not to be completely dissolved.
The fact that i now worry about how to be daily in adequacy with the world is indeed a positive.
There have been many positives, and all supplements I kept for several months made a difference.
If I have to select a few memories, my first strong impression have been with MB12 shots in 2007, backed up by other step 1&2 supplements.
There is a movie, called “Equilibrium”, where people in are almost all "drugged" to supress their emotions and make a "peaceful" world.
I remember a scene where the main character awakes after he weaned of the med.
He see a window, with rain on it, it is the same window he see everyday, however the
delicate shapes of rain running over the translucent glass, the sunset color that give a lovely glow to the overall, now made him cry.
I had this kind of experience, as my perception of 3D, whole feeling in response of scenery were back.
Yet all the sensory informations were just the same.
I hope I’ll be able to translate the journey of those dark years into something useful for others.
Back to life
The impulse for completing the post is an excellent news : I started in september 2009 a master of biology - i'm back to "school" at 26
I choosed mainly molecular and cellular biology courses, with a special focus on neurobiology, pharmacology and immunity.
Yes, this is not the fastest way to pay forward
This is all thanks to you Dr. Amy and members of this forum.
The degree is very selective, only about 25 from ~65 students will go in the 2nd year of the master.
The master is composed of 6 month of internship each year.
I’m still very slow so I need more time that would another student to do things and learn. I do about 42H of work per week.
It’s a miracle I can handle so much work, information overload, with minimal trouble.
Yet I even found time to go to swimming pool...
I always loved swimming, I’m really glad I found time and the energy to do it.
I receive a small fee monthly for the internship, with which I will do testing. A CSA and UEE is on its way, and I’ll try to do more testing, more often.
Overall, autism is still there, specially since I cut back methyl, even if I now see clearly when there is a communication discordance between me and people. It’s very frustrating seeing the problems and not being able to solve it in real time, for example finding the good words to express ideas without hurting people feelings, while not losing focus on the work I have to do daily.
I've been down a long road, but this is only the start of the path, thank you Dr Amy for having provided us enough tools and guidance to go forward.
It's actually a relief as i write it down : no matter what happen for the master, my life have already been saved.
It’s not just a hope, it’s a fact I can build on.
