Hi Sasha,
Hopefully i can offer you some good advice, having been through the ESA nightmare myself.
I have had some sucess (now in the Support group) and some stuff is still outstanding (my complaints are with the Independent Case Examiner and the Parlimentary Ombudsman).
First, your not alone, this is standard. They are treating you badly, but your not the only one, so dont let it upset you, your just a number to them. We (sick people) are much easier to refuse that benefit thiefs who are willing to lie, and have ability to go through the process. That is why we (sick people) have been targetted, not the benefit thiefs. Government only cares about paying out less, and we are the easiest to deny benefit to.
Second, the system is deisgned to tire you the sick person out. It is a long and upsetting road trying to deal with it, but if you go till the end you have a good chance of a good result IMO. Decide now whether its worth it or not. For me, i was so outraged and it was so vital for my support that i decided i would persue it even if killed me. Im not being flippant, the system is hardwork, we have serious illnesses, it may kill you if you want what your entitled to, because they make it so very hard.
Third, the depratments administering ESA are corrupt, and this includes the tribunal service who you would think were indpendant, but they arent. They will screw you the same as the DWP. They will do things like state what the law is, and then do the opposite.
Tips.
1. Keep each letter they send you , in chronological order. Print an additional copy of any letters you send and put the copy in the folder too. If you dont then you will later have to spend a week trying to do this with your ME brain...not easy.
2. Go to your GP, and any other doctors (the more senior the better) that you can and get written statements about your illness. My work sent me for assesment by Occupational Health which i thought would be dreadful, but it was the most useful bit of paper i got, because it gave such a damning prognosis. Effectively, medically speaking, if they reach a different conclusion to you even in an ATOS medical, they need someone more senior, else your consultant trumps theirs. I would even pay privately for this if needs be, its that useful.
3. If they want to do a medical ask for a domesticial one. Your GP will need to write a letter saying you need one.
4. Get your MP involved, copy him (or her) into your letter, go see him and get his support, which he is likely to give you. Get him to chase stuff up when they muck you about.
5. After your medical, request a copy of the medical notes. They often say appauling things that you can easily challenge.
6. Understand that the DWP and their agents (Jobcentre Plus, ATOS) are one organization, and the Tribunal Service is another. This means, if they both do naughty things (and they will), you need a complaint against each seperately.
7. Request a copy of their complaints process early on, and progress through it. They wont find in your favour. But you need to do this before you are allowed to go the ICE and Parlimenary Ombudsman - who might.
8. Tribunals. They should apply the law based on medical evidence, but they rarely do. I recieved a letter saying that my case wouldnt find in my favour unless i went in person (this before the hearing - so the decision was predeterminned before the hearing and based on in person attendance - something the law does not require) so be aware of this. You may have an easier time if you go in person, think about that, but personally, i feel, why should I go make myself more ill?
9. If you refuse to attend work related activity like i did, then be prepared that they will probably cut your benefits off. But still, i woudlnt personally go. Make it difficult by asking questions: How are they going to ensure your welbeing is not put at risk by going, given your illness and the affect activity has on it. What steps are they going to take to ensure the Disibility Discrimination Act (and the more recent one that i cant remember at the moment) is considered before forcing you to do anything as your illness is covered by it. You may ask them to do the Work Focused Interviews (or whatever they call them) by phone instead (hard for them to say no because its a reasonable request). Also refuse to repeat any information that you have already given to any of the DWP departments already - given your illness its unreasonable to expect you to repeat yourself. They will say their computer systems are not joined up. You say, "not my problem", they can use a phone to call whoever they need to, write it out by hand, whatever, not your problem. You have given the information already, its unreasonable to expect you to give it twice.
10. I didnt get help from Citizens Advice, but you might want to consider it. I had alot of support from my family, my father especially, and my wife. I dont think i could ahve managed it on my own, so get help where you can get it.
I hope this helps. I wish you luck with it. I'll try to answer questions if i can, if there are any.
Best