Thank you for your lovely reply. Sorry I've taken a while to reply, I haven't been here recently.That sounds very difficult to be going through that amount of panic, anxiety all the time. Yes it would be wearing you out alot. I can relate to feeling inadequate to be there for others as much as you want to be while having massive torment going on in your mind and body. I am glad that you have such a supportive loving husband and children though around you. That was very good to hear. I hope that you get well asap. Try to not let the depressive feelings although it is understandable how strong they are get you down so much as it's a cycle that doesn't help. I have to constantly tell myself that aswell. I find that if I can stay present in the moment of what needed to do and realise there is times later on I can look forward to (like for you when children go to school or other times to yourself) that my body is better able to handle the stress knowing it won't last forever even if it repeats again later there is breaks and bit by bit one day the healing will be enough to see more ongoing relief. You can get through this and will. I find focusing on love instead of fear very helpful even if I have to constantly bring myself back to it and stay focused by counting or other ways to feel more grounded in a panic attack. I can relate to the panic attacks lasting awhile as one after another happens at times. I am also isolated (single mum with caring for a baby and not able to be around my older two children who live with their dad and grandma-life situation and my health need to reduce stress). Try to find anything that however small you see it as positive that you did in a day. Perhaps you can find other ways to show that you love and care for your family. It doesn't have to be cleaning up after them at this stage in your life. I often feel bad that can not be there for my 11 and 13 year old as much-however others can do the basics. Its your own emotions who you are inside as a person that your children and husband need. Perhaps spend time together talking, write them a thanks note, find a picture that they like just anything however much you can handle doesn't matter how small it seems-its the thought that counts. Your love is what they need and you too. You are still in their lives perhaps not as much as you want but the connection is there. They just want you well. Seems a very beautiful family. I am sorry to hear about the stress and trauma. You can heal and it will get better even if at times there is down times. I have been through various PTSD causing issues in my life and still struggle with it but just want to say there is hope. Try to observe that your body goes through this symptoms that there is times of relief however brief even if it only seconds at a time. Don't feel guilty for self care. Perhaps try positive affirmations too. Yes essential oils are helpful. So is keeping blood sugars stable. Hopefully you also have some positive hobbies or interests of your own you enjoy too. Much good wishes for your health and happiness.
I am blessed with a wonderful husband and children. They accept and support me. They remind me daily how much they love me but I feel such a burden to them since this bad setback. It's really made me feel worse beating myself up.
Luckily the anxiety and panic has calmed a lot but now I physically feel awful and that's raising my anxiety around my heapth worrying it's not cfs etc.. I've just done a post about it actually.
Thank you for being so kind. Your reply was lovely and comforting.
Jem