I have been thinking about this and remembered that even as a very healthy child I could not run, swim, bike as far as other kids my age--I would just poop out. This is making me wonder if there is a genetic component that affects the production of aerobic energy (or glycolysis) that predisposes us to later develop ME/CFS. (
@Rose49 )
Looking back, there was never I time when I could run any distance, jog, take an aerobics class etc. Of course this was greatly exacerbated when I developed ME/CFS.
Do any others have this history?
Yeeess.
I was talking with my middle sister, AnthroPhD, when she said, "but you know... you've always been tired."
I was surprised by the comment and said something neutral like, "do you think so?" But the comment kept rising to my mind again and again.
I wasn't always tired, was I? Well...
Actually...
Hmm.
Definitely better and worse at certain points in my little life, but at adrenarche (8 or 9 yo) and at puberty (12 or 13) there were especial dips / crashes. And now that I think about it, between ages 9 and 12, it was my mother's concerted efforts that kept me healthy: over the summer, she fed us a preponderance of veggies and practically chased us through the outdoors. I was the only 10 year old I knew on a summer diet, and my sisters and I always came home from summer vacation slender, strong, and glowing with health.
But by my early teens I was exhausted again -- so exhausted that I talked to my doctor about it a few times. Heard: "you're just out of shape". (I was a totally normal weight / height). "It's normal to be out of breath after exertion... don't think about it so much." They wouldn't believe me that I had trouble breathing. ("Are you
sure it isn't just when you're running? And walking up the stairs? Haven't you ever been out of breath after exercise?" "Well -- then, too,
sometimes, but --" "See? You're just out of shape.")
[Edit: just remembered my mom telling me: "you sigh a lot, have you noticed?" at high-school age. "Are you sad?" I turned to stare at her in surprise: I wasn't sad in the slightest, so I wasn't sure what she was talking about. Then I caught myself taking a really, really, really deep breath and whooshing it out. Once she pointed it out, I couldn't 'un-feel' it. I was doing it all the time!
Oxygenation problems seem to be present ever since early adolescence...]
I was very 'sporty' in my 20s, but looking back, that was because it was the only way I could maintain what other people thought of as a healthy energy level. More active from age 16 or 17 onward. From age 19 on, I was definitively 'health-conscious': ate organic, gave up gluten, didn't drink soft drinks, exercised several times a week, and was a paragon of healthy virtue... it was how I kept hanging on. I wondered why everyone didn't just live this way, when you felt so much better! I thought people who ate junk food and claimed to feel okay were just lying to themselves. I didn't realize how many patches I was slapping over the problem.
I wonder how many others were exercising so much and taking such careful care of ourselves "at onset" because it was the only way to feel all right. Perhaps we were 'at onset' awhile before that... and what we mean when we say 'at onset' is actually 'at the crisis point' or 'at the point of no return'.
By my late 20s, nothing I could do could stem the tide anymore. One health crisis after another and I was eventually knocked flat. A superficial look makes it seem as though I was fine and then I wasn't, but a more cautious examination shows minor warning flares my whole life. I know, I know, recall bias... but.
So,
@Sushi , yep -- "insidious onset" is an accurate medical term, probablies.
Maybe this is the difference between the endocrine system being a big player versus only immune dysfunction being the predisposing factor.