I avoid them as much as I can even if Im forced to deal with them eg horrible disability service. I have to deal with them but I get others to be my go between and wont usually speak directly to the phone to them. Im also doing this with a hard to deal with advocate..and asked for him to hand me over to another instead of him so his boss is being the middle man and phoning me instead today.
You really need to learn to create some space between you and these types even if you need to deal with them. (others I will only see if certain situations eg if its someone who at times gives me a hard time I make sure i only see them with another present this usually then has the other not being so bad though that isnt always the case.
Others consider going to "letters" only type of communicaton
You can also protect your energy with "psychic vampires" by really owning your own space and disallowing certain things to come into it eg if its someone who constantly complains and whines about everything and all the little things in life, you can just break off contact whenever they start up. eg if they are at your home, just choose to go to the loo or something at that time. Just walk off every time they start up.
Keep doing that till they get the message that you dont want to hear about it. (Ive actually had to tell some that I dont want to hear of their negativity as Im too sick to take it on). My mother was a real drainer but doesnt now dump on me so much as Ive directly told her many times now not to do this. I still though limit contact (even phone) with her.
My mother though she's stopped her constant whining (she was going on about things which happened to her by others over 30 years ago every time we spoke eg someone who is actually now deceased, not returning some baby clothes 30 years ago..just constantly dumping a life time of negative stuff at me long in the past). Cause i got to the point where I will not allow her to go on like that, she seems to have changed tact now and seems to be going for sudden shock tactic now.
I havent as yet got my head around this new thing which she may be doing for past 4 weeks to gain attention/energy eg telling me she feels like shooting my advocate and that she feels like ringing and abusing him (which she could well do), telling me she wont be coming to xmas as she's annoyed about something and if she does she will punch my father in the face etc, telling me she will kill herself (that was a good one, I told her I'd join her in that!!! and meant it when I said that.. so she then quickly stopped saying that). She's now hitting on purpose the things she knows will hurt or stir me up.
id be able to switch off if I knew my mother better but I really do not know what she's capable as she's done some very bad things in the past so the shit she says is very concerning to me. so she can drain my energy with her shock tactic words. (i may have to go back to having hardly no contact with her again. I'd been trying to communicate with my mother well for the first time in my life but in reaching out with my issues I just made myself vulnerable to her.. and then she started doing that).
I should just completely accept she's an energy vampire and is no good to turn to at all, she responds very badly to that. She needs the energy to be always flowing her way.
On energetic levels Ive heard that crossing ones the arms and legs can help too and avoid eye contact with them can help too.
