Sorry to hear about your struggle, a couple of things. I've been there and I'm still very ill, but my life has improved.
I've tried most everything ever suggested on this site with little of it helping. Pacing and diet have helped, the perfect health diet is a good place to start. It's really important to alter the mental negative stuff- it can deplete the hell out of you. Pacing is crucial. Journalling can help determine patterns, and treatments, I've often gone back and benefited from reading entries made previously. If you truly have suicidal thoughts you must deal with that, I speak from experience. Working on my gut, I believe has help my feelings of despair. I also take Lamictal, (lamotrigine),
I've never seen it posted here on P.R. but it's been a constant for me for about 10 years. It's used for bipolar but at much a higher dose than what I take, I break a 25mg in half so 12.5.
Last, if you don't meditate, learn.