What do you do when family are unwell?

[Jemima37]

Am I a terrible mother for trying to minimise my risk of not catching my daughters nasty cold virus by not sitting in her room for too long or having her in with me for too long? It's so hard. Shes 14 and I feel a bad mum for trying to avoid catching something else on top of the cfs so close to Christmas.

I'm spraying door handles, hand washing bur as it's also airborne I'm worried. Colds or any virus can wipe us out so I get anxious this time of year if my family pick anything up but then I feel an awful mum for abusing them a little to avoid the virus arghh this cfs and mum lark is hard. Haha. My daughter understands and says it's fine mum but today shes been home unwell and asked to sit with me for the day and it made me worry I'd pick it up. I feel I cant say no.

What do you do when family are unwell to protect yourself?

 

[Likaloha]

Am I a terrible mother for trying to minimise my risk of not catching my daughters nasty cold virus by not sitting in her room for too long or having her in with me for too long? It's so hard. Shes 14 and I feel a bad mum for trying to avoid catching something else on top of the cfs so close to Christmas.

I'm spraying door handles, hand washing bur as it's also airborne I'm worried. Colds or any virus can wipe us out so I get anxious this time of year if my family pick anything up but then I feel an awful mum for abusing them a little to avoid the virus arghh this cfs and mum lark is hard. Haha. My daughter understands and says it's fine mum but today shes been home unwell and asked to sit with me for the day and it made me worry I'd pick it up. I feel I cant say no.

What do you do when family are unwell to protect yourself?

Try wearing one of those disposable paper masks when around your daughter when sick....It may seem funny at first, but maybe better than getting sick or not having contact....most of the doctor waiting rooms have them now too. Hope your daughter feels better soon!

 

[Jemima37]

Try wearing one of those disposable paper masks when around your daughter when sick....It may seem funny at first, but maybe better than getting sick or not having contact....most of the doctor waiting rooms have them now too. Hope your daughter feels better soon!

Thank you.

I keep seeing her but not for long periods. Its so frustrating isnt it when they're unwell and you are trying to minimise the risk to yourself. You feel torn..

 

[Jyoti]

I totally understand @Jemima37. One does feel so torn.

My daughter is especially prone to virulent upper respiratory infections and I have found myself being kind of brutal about protecting my own health. I want to comfort her and nurse her and be a mom, but I have to draw the line in various places including close snuggling. I wash my hands constantly when she is sick and I keep an eye on when she is looking to sneeze so I can dodge any flying particulates! In the meantime, I try to bring tea, and make toast and set up movies, get the heating pad and such---some of the caregiving that does not require such intimate contact.

The key thing, I think, is that she knows that you are doing all you can do safely. I am sure she wouldn't want you to get sick from her and then be down for months. That would be harder on her, I suspect, than not having you constantly at her side. As the grown-up you have to think ahead to that possibility which she might not and protect her from it as well as yourself.

There is a lot of faith I have to put in the future, in my daughter growing up and realizing how hard I have worked despite my illness to be there for her. It does not ameliorate the losses but I am trusting that it will make them more understandable, that my intent and my efforts will be seen alongside my actions, which often fall far short of what I envisioned I could offer her.

Your kids seem so wise; I am sure they already do see how much you love them and how hard you work to show up everyday as well as on the special days like Christmas and sick days....

 

[Rebeccare]

I wonder if you might video call each other from your respective rooms, or text back and forth. Thanks to technology there's plenty of ways to connect even if you can't share space.

You know that you are not a bad mother--you're just trying to protect your health. It's something that's necessary, even though it can be a little painful sometimes.

 

[Rufous McKinney]

You know that you are not a bad mother--you're just trying to protect your health. It's something that's necessary, even though it can be a little painful sometimes.

This is a tough thing, and your all doing your best in challenging circumstances... when you get really sick from stuff that often does not phase other people, its really hard to just willingly sign up for: exposure. From around Nov thru Feb- I avoid avoid avoid.

So soon enough, I'll be having to avoid my grandaughter's germ conveyance. And I don't yet know how I will do that....but all the ideas here are good ones. Now wondering about adding- eye goggles.

 

[Judee]

I don't have children but used to take care of my both my sister's kids as daycare through the years. When they got sick, I would usually wear a mask and wash my hands constantly. Those things mostly didn't help. Maybe because I was exposed before we realized they were sick so I usually caught what they had. It worked that way when I worked in a office too.

Two things: First, it helps to "spike" their juice with vitamin c powder and have them drink it throughout the day.

My nieces would get better faster that way and lessen the chances of it being passed around as much. I didn't put in a lot (maybe 1/8 tsp) since they were little but it really did seem to shorten their infection duration.

Secondly, when working in the office, I found it best to have a back up survival plan. At the first sign that I had caught the bug, I would use one or more of the methods in this post to get rid of it asap. https://forums.phoenixrising.me/thr...ged-due-to-reduced-energy.62724/#post-1021979

The reason I cautioned not to just gulp the garlic water down undiluted is because once when I came home from work with the flu, I was desperate to head it off and did just that. The next day I got stomach sick (sorry tmi) which I hardly ever do. Since it is so rare for me, I found myself asking what made that happened and then remembered, "Oh you had the flu yesterday." I felt so much better (flu-wise) that I forgot I was so sick the night before. However, the alternative was difficult to go through too so I don't recommending anyone taking so much at once.

Of course, if you have allergies to any of these foods please avoid them. I'm sure there are other back up solutions that will work for you.

I'm not a mother so I can't put myself in your shoes exactly but I don't think you should feel guilty for being cautious. After all you need to stay well yourself. They need you around and with this disease it is so easy to become very sick, very quickly.

 

[jesse's mom]

I really know this feeling @Jemima37 , I have a 16 year old and do avoid close contact when she is sick. The child that I caught the flu and ended up in the hospital for 11 days in 2017 came from my grandaughter when she was too sick to go to school, and we kept her and took her to the DR.

Now my husband keeps her at her house so I do not get sick. I did feel horrible about all this, but now I know that they do not take this personally. I have to have some boundaries around the children's winter sniffles that can really take me down.

I hope your daughter is feeling better and that you are not going to catch that cold!

All the Best

 

[Jemima37]

Thank you all so much.

I spoke to my daughter and she fully understood which was lovely. My son ended up with a bad cough and my daughter was full of cold ans coughing for a week. I was taking her warm drinks, medicine and food thay required minimal contact. Changing her diffuser essential oils to clean the air and her virus. She appreciated it all. I was spraying door handles with antibacterial spray and washing my hands a lot.

Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I really appreciate it.

Jem

 

[Rufous McKinney]

I do swear by these chinese Don't Get Sick Pills. They aren't very expensive....should simply obtain and have on the shelf at all times.

Yin Chiao.....for early stage of cold/flu.....take for around 36 hours, tend to get less sick or not sick.....Take before going to airports, malls, exposure events you anticipate, the grandchild appearance.

https://drshen.com/yin-chiao-early-stage-cold-support/

(this is just one brand, there are many, I prefer the brand Plum Flower....check that the brand is tested)

Huo Xang Zheng Qi teapills....for nausea...mild or around the edges...work quite well and quickly.

Coptic....tea pills...for the flu....once you can keep them down. And of course I had none when I got the flu last month. (and little or no warning..it Kaboomed).