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After consulting with various doctors in and outside of the UK, I would absolutely respect any guidance on the subject of my current health situation. After being under the care of the NHS for almost 3 years and being no further forward with regards to understanding what I am going through, any kind of direction I could be put in by anyone on here would be greatly appreciated as I honestly am at the end of what I can bare.
The reason I ask if its related to ME/CFS is because the only information I have been able to find that talks about anything near what I experience was in the essay below
http://www.guptaprogramme.com/wp-co...YPOTHESIS-Medical-Hypotheses-article-copy.pdf
These are my symptoms which are now extremely severe and continue throughout all of my waking hours.
-Waking up with feelings of intense dread and fear and the need to escape and get out of the house ASAP
-Pacing around outside all day, constantly avoiding a situation where I have to be calm and relax, as if my brain is in overdrive and doesn't want to relax, ever! I have an unbeleivable high level of nervous energy that feels like Adrenalin, I cant enforce enough just how immense this nervous energy and dread has been at times. I may make conscious attempts to force myself to calm down and try to relax but the nervous energy and feelings of dread and fear just reinstate themselves when faced with the challenge of this.
-Worries and memories hitting my thoughts all day, all related to my state of health and whats happening to me. It's as though I am constantly analysing how I feel in a moment and having vivid recollections as to when I either felt the same way previously or, when I felt better and making a contrast between the two and then worrying about my further deterioration of health from this point in time.
Smells and sounds can play a part in triggering these memories and re-inforcing fear and dread.
Its as if my brain cannot comprehend the most simplest of stressors anymore and its not adrenal, its much more than that, i have broken down in tears most days for the last 2 years.
The trauma began 2 years ago after I was prescribed the steroid prednisolone for my adrenals - his words, by an anti-aging doctor in Belgium, a drug known to have effects on mental health However, I was not warned of any side effects and suffered a great amount of emotional trauma over a period of 7 months as this drug altered my reality making me feel like life itself wasnt real - a major stress that i suffered every second for months without knowing what was happening to me. Continuous pacing around and distress occured on this drug. After weaning myself off prednisolone and back onto Hydrocortisone (which I was doing GREAT on before) the nervous energy, fear and dread components stayed with me asif my brain had been rewired and couldnt deal with even the most minor stressors.
My whole body and mind has changed since I suffered the trauma, I used to have minimal anxiety and certainly didnt have these deep disturbing feelings of dread and the need to escape. I was a very tired, lethargic 21 year old who didnt have the energy to be anything 'but' relaxed but I could deal with it and had a sense of wellbeing. I am still tired but my body and mind feel very different, I feel like a dog chasing its tail over and over again and it never ends.
Where as before this happened I would spend most of my free time in my bedroom enjoying music and computer games (rather than going out because I was so lathargic). The thought of relaxing and enjoying such a thing seems impossible now. Sometimes my tolerance to stress is so weak that in that moment it could feel like the world is ending and I break down.
My world is eerie and disturbing.
I am 23 now and things have changed in other areas of my health since this suffering began. I feel as though I am am deteriorating and this of course reinforces more stress as I worry about these further changes. It is very hard to explain but I now feel very numb, flat or blank all day, the feelings of anxiety, dread and fear feel different although still very profound. I am also experiencing sensitivity to noise, sometimes a conversation can deeply irritate me asif someone is shouting directly into my ear.
After 2 years of being stuck on this never ending rollercoaster ride a lot of feelings that I remember having as part of being human are gone, again, it's a bizzare scenario that I can't explain very well and I worry that things have gone too far and If I could have recovered earlier, I definitely cant now.
Therefore I have to ask you guys in desperation for some kind of direction to understand whats actually happened and can it be helped? Ive been offered anti-depressants and beta blockers but wont take them as I know the Drs I have seen are simpy not understanding/care about how severe what I experience is, they dont seem to beleive/care that Ive been pacing around for 15 hours a day at times, they just label me as 'depressed' or you have 'anxiety'
Sorry if this is in the wrong section - its taken me 18 months to come online and try to find answers to my problems, I was too scared to even do this before, the dread, fear and adrenaline would hit me and make me run out of the door everytime I even thought about going online and possibly finding out my life is over. Today I woke up less fearful so I am taking advantage.
I know lots of people suffer from anxiety disorders but I've never heard of someone constantly on the move and cant stop because of unreal adrenaline responses and feelings of dread that runs 24/7 without stopping. I'm desperately looking for other cases but just can't find anyone
Yours desperately,
Jack
The reason I ask if its related to ME/CFS is because the only information I have been able to find that talks about anything near what I experience was in the essay below
http://www.guptaprogramme.com/wp-co...YPOTHESIS-Medical-Hypotheses-article-copy.pdf
These are my symptoms which are now extremely severe and continue throughout all of my waking hours.
-Waking up with feelings of intense dread and fear and the need to escape and get out of the house ASAP
-Pacing around outside all day, constantly avoiding a situation where I have to be calm and relax, as if my brain is in overdrive and doesn't want to relax, ever! I have an unbeleivable high level of nervous energy that feels like Adrenalin, I cant enforce enough just how immense this nervous energy and dread has been at times. I may make conscious attempts to force myself to calm down and try to relax but the nervous energy and feelings of dread and fear just reinstate themselves when faced with the challenge of this.
-Worries and memories hitting my thoughts all day, all related to my state of health and whats happening to me. It's as though I am constantly analysing how I feel in a moment and having vivid recollections as to when I either felt the same way previously or, when I felt better and making a contrast between the two and then worrying about my further deterioration of health from this point in time.
Smells and sounds can play a part in triggering these memories and re-inforcing fear and dread.
Its as if my brain cannot comprehend the most simplest of stressors anymore and its not adrenal, its much more than that, i have broken down in tears most days for the last 2 years.
The trauma began 2 years ago after I was prescribed the steroid prednisolone for my adrenals - his words, by an anti-aging doctor in Belgium, a drug known to have effects on mental health However, I was not warned of any side effects and suffered a great amount of emotional trauma over a period of 7 months as this drug altered my reality making me feel like life itself wasnt real - a major stress that i suffered every second for months without knowing what was happening to me. Continuous pacing around and distress occured on this drug. After weaning myself off prednisolone and back onto Hydrocortisone (which I was doing GREAT on before) the nervous energy, fear and dread components stayed with me asif my brain had been rewired and couldnt deal with even the most minor stressors.
My whole body and mind has changed since I suffered the trauma, I used to have minimal anxiety and certainly didnt have these deep disturbing feelings of dread and the need to escape. I was a very tired, lethargic 21 year old who didnt have the energy to be anything 'but' relaxed but I could deal with it and had a sense of wellbeing. I am still tired but my body and mind feel very different, I feel like a dog chasing its tail over and over again and it never ends.
Where as before this happened I would spend most of my free time in my bedroom enjoying music and computer games (rather than going out because I was so lathargic). The thought of relaxing and enjoying such a thing seems impossible now. Sometimes my tolerance to stress is so weak that in that moment it could feel like the world is ending and I break down.
My world is eerie and disturbing.
I am 23 now and things have changed in other areas of my health since this suffering began. I feel as though I am am deteriorating and this of course reinforces more stress as I worry about these further changes. It is very hard to explain but I now feel very numb, flat or blank all day, the feelings of anxiety, dread and fear feel different although still very profound. I am also experiencing sensitivity to noise, sometimes a conversation can deeply irritate me asif someone is shouting directly into my ear.
After 2 years of being stuck on this never ending rollercoaster ride a lot of feelings that I remember having as part of being human are gone, again, it's a bizzare scenario that I can't explain very well and I worry that things have gone too far and If I could have recovered earlier, I definitely cant now.
Therefore I have to ask you guys in desperation for some kind of direction to understand whats actually happened and can it be helped? Ive been offered anti-depressants and beta blockers but wont take them as I know the Drs I have seen are simpy not understanding/care about how severe what I experience is, they dont seem to beleive/care that Ive been pacing around for 15 hours a day at times, they just label me as 'depressed' or you have 'anxiety'
Sorry if this is in the wrong section - its taken me 18 months to come online and try to find answers to my problems, I was too scared to even do this before, the dread, fear and adrenaline would hit me and make me run out of the door everytime I even thought about going online and possibly finding out my life is over. Today I woke up less fearful so I am taking advantage.
I know lots of people suffer from anxiety disorders but I've never heard of someone constantly on the move and cant stop because of unreal adrenaline responses and feelings of dread that runs 24/7 without stopping. I'm desperately looking for other cases but just can't find anyone
Yours desperately,
Jack
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