I'm happy to explain, I'm just wary of breaking PR's rules about discussing religion.
I was raised in a family that was very conservative Evangelical Christians in the US who have very strong beliefs about gender roles, "purity" before marriage, and aligning all emotions to what they say you're "supposed" to feel, which requires a pretty extreme amount of self-deception. For example, it was never ever
EVER okay for me to feel or express any form of anger whatsoever, my entire life. This was so well drilled into me that I was literally incapable of detecting when I felt it. I had learn backwards, starting from "I seem to be slamming cupboards and doors, maybe I'm angry? I don't know?" and sit down with myself and strain to tune in, reaching inside myself and feeling nothing there, but knowing there had to be. Gradually, I learned how to sense and identify it. It took a good year or so. And that's just one small example, of at least hundreds.
Being selfish was one of the greatest "sins" of all, and it turned out that mindset was interfering with healing to the extent my body could under this illness. Doing "nothing" wasn't okay, unless it was physically impossible to move. Avoiding things that were stressful wasn't okay. Refusing to help instead of sacrificing your wants/needs for someone else was not okay. Speaking of which, "wants" were considered unimportant and should never be given any weight at all in decision-making. I was taught from babyhood not to trust my own thoughts or feelings on anything.
Anything at all.
I could write a freakin' book on it, and maybe I will someday. It's a lot to grasp for those who have never encountered it. It's an entire subculture, with many cult-like tendencies that make it extremely difficult to leave. The
only reason I considered it is because a friend pointed out that certain beliefs were significantly contributing to exhaustion. And as I was dying at the time, I had to choose between dying or letting go of some of these things. And when I did, I ended up liking the real world a whole lot better.
Not all Christians are like this, in fact I still consider myself one, but I actively reject conservative Christian
culture as very unhealthy.