Hi Chick pea - Its a difficult and emotive subject to discuss. I have 4 children and now a granddaughter. I had my first two children before I had(knew I had) M.E and the second two while in a long remission, and later relapsed very severely and had 4 children at home aged 4 - 15 to care for.
I may have had pre M.E type illness before I had any of my children. My eldest son has dyspraxia and dyslexia and now at 23 all his teeth are falling out, despite good oral hygiene. My eldest daughter at 21 has been ill on and off for 7 years with a possible M.E diagnosis. My youngest two are so far healthy, but I have just discovered I have EDS III and my youngest son has joint pain and fatigue.
I also was better during pregnancy and then had severe hormonal depression issues after each one that made it doubly hard. I was first sick when my youngest two where 3 and 15 month old and it was a hellish journey. Eventually I went into remission and had two more children - I was very well for me at that point but still had postnatal depression.
7 years ago I had a severe relapse after catching measles from my kids who were unvaccinated. My eldest daughter also became ill and I was functioning at 30% and caring full time for a bedbound teenager and toddlers, my husband was working away from home - it was very hard for me and the kids.
My youngest daughter doesn't remember me ever being well so she has missed out on the most. I cant ever take any of my children anywhere on my own - we always have to have a carer to take us, push the wheelchair, look after me etc. I cant just take her shopping for clothes like all the other mums do and she finds this hard.
There are often times when I have to ask the children not ot talk to me as I cant cope with it. I don't see my eldest children or granddaughter very often as they live a 6 hour drive away and I cant get there on my own.
I now know I have EDSIII - undiagnosed for the past twenty years of me being ill that is genetic and I can pass to my children. I also now have a diagnosis of Bartonella and possible Lyme - which I may have had before I had the children and could have passed to them all. I would want ot make damn sure I didn't have any intracellular bacterial infections before having children - and the testing and politics around this are difficult to say the least. I have met many families on line who have passed Lyme to their children and their children have subsequently become ill - many of these people were misdiagnosed with M.E.
There have been so many times when having a family and children has been the only thing that has kept me going and saved my ;life. But equally I can never fully rest in the way I need and I am always pushing myself to do more than I should so that they have a slightly more normal life. Small children are very hard work, but so are teenagers who never seem to go to bed and have endless problems that seem to need discussing late at night when I am too exhausted to even speak.
My children are fantastic people - kind considerate and helpful. Not overly noisy or hard work, but it is utterly draining and exhausting for me every day. At one point I even considered leaving my family and going to live alone so I could heal.
I would also like to talk about adoption and will do so in another post below
I may have had pre M.E type illness before I had any of my children. My eldest son has dyspraxia and dyslexia and now at 23 all his teeth are falling out, despite good oral hygiene. My eldest daughter at 21 has been ill on and off for 7 years with a possible M.E diagnosis. My youngest two are so far healthy, but I have just discovered I have EDS III and my youngest son has joint pain and fatigue.
I also was better during pregnancy and then had severe hormonal depression issues after each one that made it doubly hard. I was first sick when my youngest two where 3 and 15 month old and it was a hellish journey. Eventually I went into remission and had two more children - I was very well for me at that point but still had postnatal depression.
7 years ago I had a severe relapse after catching measles from my kids who were unvaccinated. My eldest daughter also became ill and I was functioning at 30% and caring full time for a bedbound teenager and toddlers, my husband was working away from home - it was very hard for me and the kids.
My youngest daughter doesn't remember me ever being well so she has missed out on the most. I cant ever take any of my children anywhere on my own - we always have to have a carer to take us, push the wheelchair, look after me etc. I cant just take her shopping for clothes like all the other mums do and she finds this hard.
There are often times when I have to ask the children not ot talk to me as I cant cope with it. I don't see my eldest children or granddaughter very often as they live a 6 hour drive away and I cant get there on my own.
I now know I have EDSIII - undiagnosed for the past twenty years of me being ill that is genetic and I can pass to my children. I also now have a diagnosis of Bartonella and possible Lyme - which I may have had before I had the children and could have passed to them all. I would want ot make damn sure I didn't have any intracellular bacterial infections before having children - and the testing and politics around this are difficult to say the least. I have met many families on line who have passed Lyme to their children and their children have subsequently become ill - many of these people were misdiagnosed with M.E.
There have been so many times when having a family and children has been the only thing that has kept me going and saved my ;life. But equally I can never fully rest in the way I need and I am always pushing myself to do more than I should so that they have a slightly more normal life. Small children are very hard work, but so are teenagers who never seem to go to bed and have endless problems that seem to need discussing late at night when I am too exhausted to even speak.
My children are fantastic people - kind considerate and helpful. Not overly noisy or hard work, but it is utterly draining and exhausting for me every day. At one point I even considered leaving my family and going to live alone so I could heal.
I would also like to talk about adoption and will do so in another post below