arewenearlythereyet
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I've always been of the opinion that the more you raise your heart rate the closer you are to death. I think this was after I heard that a mouses heart has the same number of beats as an elephant during its lifetime. The mouse has a shorter life since its always on the go. I'm not sure if that is total bollocks but my lecturer at uni was of this belief.Gosh, reading this thread, it just strikes me how indoctrinated we are into the idea that physical fitness is some kind of moral good. It is nice when you body looks "good" (according to our social mores). But keeping fit is considered a moral good too (the "right thing to do"). These things have been risen to the level of major sources of self-esteem for many people.
Of course, some people also need to be reasonably fit to enjoy doing their favourite things - but since we all have ME and can't do these things anyway, this part of the issue doesn't seem relevant to us here.
The OP's terrible fear of deconditioning really brings to the fore how much our self-esteem can be tied up with physical fitness. Keeping fit is not a good health practice for ME sufferers - its the opposite. But still we feel somehow less worthy because we aren't fit - that's how powerful these social standards are!
Not trying to put myself "above" all this. I also struggle with my ghastly fat body (I was a fitness instructor before I got ill). We're all vulnerable. But maybe it helps if we all occasionally take a step back and see it for what it is.
In any case I think I would rather be an elephant. Judging by my increasing waistline I'm nearly there!