Yeah, I lived life like that & all it did was ruin it. Grateful to be more introspective, listen to my body, know my limits, let go of some control issues like my moronic perfectionism. I have no interest in forcing nor pushing myself through anything anymore. Those who lived like that often hit a wall when enough years go by & they get deeply humbled. An event comes along like an accident, an injury, an illness, a divorce, or death. They reevaluate who they've been trying to prove their toughness or worth to all those years. I was trying to prove something to myself by being a typical Type A. Wasting my time hurting myself is no way to live.
I say this as someone who just finished a four year project on the Civil War, a topic I had absolutely zero interest in but felt obligated to do for reasons I won't go into. I'm glad I did it, but once again, I went WAY overboard on research & writing. 75% that made it to my pages didn't need to be there.
Time & again I do this 💩 to myself, both psychologically & physically. I have PERMANENT injuries from my 20s because I pushed through pain. I pushed through pain because I bought into the American Rugged Man myth. The independent Make My Day b.s. As a woman, I needed to prove I wasn't like all the others. If you know, you know.
Learning from my mistakes by 🛌 looking over my shoulder is a strength & a sound response if I want to maintain the health I tried to crawl my way back to when I thought my life was over those two horrific years. It can't even be called an illness, really, because it's indescribably bad & soul-destroying. Like it has for others, it can return at any time, & I stay walking through the years *in reality* with that knowledge. So between now & the grave, still learning late in life, I'll do what's in the interests of my health & well-being.
This is a long way around saying I didn't find your post on my thread helpful. And I don't see the reason for it being here. And I hope you do not, in your future, learn the hard way to REST like so many of us have been forced to, down on hands & knees, crawling to the bathroom. Not to mention the bed-bound, who would pay for the opportunity to do so. Best of luck.