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The dream isn't so dreamy

Emmarose47

Senior Member
Messages
2,127
Location
UK
Hi
So I went through all that difficulty and so many processes to get out of a difficult shared housing situation last Yr..
Then was given an apartment with the council in an over 50s scheme. I chose it here because I felt it would be better than regular housing re troubles.. And maybe that is still true.
Generally is an upbeat community, some addiction stuff going on alcohol and some mental and physical health stuff.
The outdoor spaces are a court yard /car park type situation and many apartments face inwards. When I open my front door for air outdoor time I'm v often not alone. People want social interaction and being quieter doesn't fit in to well.
I've printed out info for my immediate neigh ours to help them understand. I'm v limited on how much I can chat as been flaring since end May and can get some stability but not the more stable place I can reach, yet anyway.
So, the women who lives opposite me is an ex street drinker, 25 yrs on the street. She is a heavy alcoholic morning to night sits outside and is incredibly loud. What I don't really get is the most people seem to like her possibly just placating her to keep on the good side.
I haven't really built any relationship with her ill say hi if she does. She made a very loud comment when I hadn't been here v long 'I thought she couldn't walk'.
So couple days ago I was peaking out my bedroom window at her /others and they saw me 'she got angry and I'm not sure what she was saying but it didn't seem good. Yesturday they were sat on the bench nr my apartment and she was v loud and got more drunk as the day went on.
Today I heard her say' ye she's thinks shes queen of the place and she knows it that's way she is sitting down there (I moved my chair along so as not to antagonise her any further.
She lays there with her feet up she said.
I realise as I write this it all sounds petty but I got fearful. The neighbour who lived next door to her before had an injunction out on her for physical attack I think it was but it could have been just verbal?

I'm keeping a record of anything that happens and looking for advocacy support incase have to take up a case.
We have a housing officer here and could make her aware if the case gets bigger.

I feel so weighed down with life.. 2 yrs nearly housebound and now this..

Grateful my lounge room is at the back and I can't hear her.. It gets good sun. Also there is a large grass area there and no one really uses it.
It's noisy with traffic but if I climb out the window I can sit with ear defenders when well enough that is..

Gee is this really happening the dream isn't so dreamy anymore..

Also the housing situation here is dire I know in many ways I actually could be worse off.

Any thoughts welcome

Emma
 

sunshine44

Que sera sera
Messages
1,190
Oh Emma… I have no thoughts but I’m so sorry for this rude human polluting your space. If anything, even though limited, know you can vent here to us while you figure it out.

Sending you love dear one. I know you are a sensitive soul and this must be weighing heavily on you. It’s certainly not what you need right now. That being said, it’s what you have right now and you will dance your way through this. This isn’t your forever.

Your feelings are so valid. 💗🙏🦋
 

Emmarose47

Senior Member
Messages
2,127
Location
UK
Oh Emma… I have no thoughts but I’m so sorry for this rude human polluting your space. If anything, even though limited, know you can vent here to us while you figure it out.

Sending you love dear one. I know you are a sensitive soul and this must be weighing heavily on you. It’s certainly not what you need right now. That being said, it’s what you have right now and you will dance your way through this. This isn’t your forever.

Your feelings are so valid. 💗🙏🦋
Thanks sunshine I think I'm what they call 'beaten down by life' what a shit show...
 

Rufous McKinney

Senior Member
Messages
13,467
Gee is this really happening the dream isn't so dreamy anymore..

thats clearly unsettling to have going on outside your front door. Its so hard to be around and near the rest of the world who just do not experience what we do, and then to add every other social ILL to the mix.

Grateful my lounge room is at the back and I can't hear her.. It gets good sun. Also there is a large grass area there and no one really uses it.
thank good ness for this part

Any thoughts welcome
I had the thought that, well there probably is not very much you can do about This Woman, and her Nature and her Attitude.

So I was thinking maybe all your can or should do is send a calm pleasant smile and wave of calm energy in this woman's direction.

Im now trying to imagine everyone else there has been putting up with this? Why doesn't this woman drink in her own apartment? Why can't a house manager inform people that being loud outside is rude and you'll get tossed out.

Gee is this really happening the dream isn't so dreamy anymore..
I just did the BIG THING (move) and I am hoping to recover and then proclaim that my move was a success. But I also know it's going to come with some HARD things.
 

Emmarose47

Senior Member
Messages
2,127
Location
UK
Thanks rufous... I've gone beyond the 'the social wave etc I just don't have it in me... Broken..
Yep re others don't experience what we do.
I am logging any incidents and that's what the advocate will be for speaking to the housing officer, anti social behaviour team etc. I know with these things its not an easy and straight forward process.. I don't have the energy so therefor will need someone to advocate (if it continues..
Getting someone to change their behaviour takes an army in these type of situations. Someone has a case out on man upstairs loud loud music.. Its been to court and he is still here 1yr later. The council are dealing with these situations all the time... The officers become a bit 'ye ye yeah but not particularly any action.


Drunk women is an ex 25 Yr homeless street drinker is in her pattern right now and drinking and anger are increasing. They'll be another blow up hopefully with someone else and she will go away for 2 /3 wks and then come back quieter and the cycle will repeat.

Just for today I'm keeping low profile in my lounge room.
Maybe a little art.

Sending many best wishes for your recovery after the move.. Takes much much time to settle in.. I felt very at sea for a few mths
 

Rufous McKinney

Senior Member
Messages
13,467
Sending many best wishes for your recovery after the move.. Takes much much time to settle in.. I felt very at sea for a few mths

I had to just give up looking for things. Did I pack that? I swear I put it HERE. But it'd not HERE. So where is it?

that got really out of hand. It will get better.

The council are dealing with these situations all the time...

This is one of the reasons that the country I live in decided why not just put all those people on the street.

Because to police all this individual behavior is borderline madness.

At some point, they decided you can have a room to live in, but you must have completed your drug rehab, your alcholod addictions must be over, and your mental state totally managed. So after all that, well give up the Dog you love, they are not allowed.
 

Emmarose47

Senior Member
Messages
2,127
Location
UK
Ha ah yep the endless searching.. Boxes... Itll. Come right in time you'll be OK. I found it surprising what I could actually live without... Stuff.
Wows really... Oh my in the UK if that happened the streets would be heaving.
There would be a good few flats vacant here for starters.
I've decided I'm going to spend time out the back here not the front. It's not 'ideal either due to busy main road but it's a large green space, trees and doesn't get used.. I've cried a lot today and feel flushed out.. Felt better for not going out the front and being in that energy....funny that
 
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