southwestforests
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A lot of us have already seen and suffered effects of this.
The doctors are not OK.
Shame, medical training, gaslighting, and cycles of abuse.
K. Johnstone
Jun 03, 2025
https://mecfs.substack.com/p/the-doctors-are-not-ok
The doctors are not OK.
Shame, medical training, gaslighting, and cycles of abuse.
K. Johnstone
Jun 03, 2025
https://mecfs.substack.com/p/the-doctors-are-not-ok
A few days ago I listened to a wonderful podcast, Long Covid MD podcast #50: Ask The Patient - Why Medicine Still Doesn't Listen, with Dr Zed Zha. In it, Dr Zha told a story about her time as a medical student working in a hospital. A senior doctor asked a question and the student replied honestly: "I don't know". The senior doctor responded by humiliating the student, and later wrote in the student’s assessment that she was not fit to work in that particular area of medicine.
Dr Zha recalled feeling intensely ashamed in that moment. The feelings of being shamed were deeply upsetting, even traumatic, and it seems that this experience of being shamed was a common one in medical training. It was even noted that medical training is based on shame.
I was struck by how unfair it was that the student was punished for saying "I don't know". It's not just that she was shamed; a possible avenue for her future medical career was cut off. The other students may not have known the answer either, but they kept quiet about it; by hiding the gap in their knowledge, they gained an advantage over the honest student.
I think this story explains a great deal about the way doctors behave.
For one thing, this story shows that medical training is deeply dysfunctional. The student who spoke up and said "I don't know" was behaving correctly. She was taking responsibility for her own learning by acknowledging a gap in her knowledge and inviting the senior doctor to teach her what she needed to know. This is how people behave in a system that is working well.
By shaming the student for not knowing, the senior doctor taught the students to hide gaps in their knowledge. In the future, if these students didn't know the answer to a question, they would do anything to avoid admitting it; they would avoid the question, change the subject, or pretend they thought they'd been asked a different question and answer that one instead - anything to avoid saying "I don't know." By hiding gaps in their knowledge, they would close off opportunities to learn.
Apart from being a terrible way to train people, I think this dysfunctional style of teaching may explain why so many doctors, whenever they encounter a patient whose symptoms they don't understand, immediately and confidently declare that the patient is simply "anxious," or lying, or exaggerating, or crazy.
On the surface, this behaviour makes no sense. It’s bizarre. It’s actually very childish. These doctors behave as if anything they don’t understand simply doesn’t exist, like a child who covers her head with a blanket and thinks the world is no longer there because she can’t see it.
It's obvious that no doctor can know all there is to know about medicine; medical knowledge is far too vast for that. And it's not just the rare conditions where doctors lack knowledge. The list of common and serious conditions that are barely mentioned in medical training - for instance: long Covid, ME/CFS, Sjogren's syndrome, Ehlers Danlos syndrome, POTS, mast cell activation syndrome and chronic lyme disease - goes on and on.
But the bizarre assumption doctors make - that any medical condition they don't understand simply doesn't exist - does make sense when you consider that in medical school they were taught that it's really unacceptable not to know something. They spent years being forced to behave as if they knew everything. If you repeat the same lie over and over, it begins to sound true. Maybe some doctors have pretended to know everything for so long that they actually believe it.
And, whether a doctor truly believes they know everything or not, it's easy to see how an inability to say "I don't know" can lead directly to medical gaslighting. A doctor who is faced with a patient whose symptoms they don't understand, and who has been psychologically brutalized into having a pathological inability to say "I don't know", might really feel they have no choice other than to dismiss and gaslight the patient.
The doctors are really not OK.
You could see medical gaslighting as a cycle of abuse, a case of victims of abuse becoming abusers themselves. Medical students are held to impossible standards, shamed, and gaslit into believing that they can and should know everything there is to know about medicine. Once they become doctors they abuse their patients in turn: they dismiss the patients, tell them their lived experiences are not real, and behave as if patients are liars and fools whose testimony about their own lives and their own bodies cannot be trusted. It's a case of the biggest monkey hitting a smaller one, who then hits an even an smaller monkey, and so on.
I have no idea what patients can do about all this. My favourite moment in the podcast was when Dr Zha was asked what patients can do to better advocate for themselves, and she replied that patients already advocate as hard as they can - it's up to doctors to stop putting up so many barriers. I loved this. Patients really can't do anything about the profound dysfunction in medical training, doctors are the only ones who have any power to change this. By talking about these issues, which I think are rarely discussed, Dr Khan and Dr Zha did take a small step toward addressing these problems.
While I can't really do anything about systemic problems in the medical training system, I found that thinking about the reasons why doctors gaslight their patients did help me deal with my own medical trauma. For me, one thing that has made it very hard to recover from medical gaslighting is that in the past I had a tremendous respect for the medical profession (and to some extent I still do). I believed that doctors were highly trained professionals whose clinical practice was based on rigorous science. (I now know that this is sometimes true, but often very much not the case - medical practice is often driven by prejudice, ingrained bad habits, bad science, and propaganda from governments, pharmaceutical corporations, or insurance companies.) My misguided respect for the medical profession made it hard for me to shake off the idea that the repeated medical gaslighting I endured was somehow “my fault”.
It helps me to realise that when doctors gaslight their patients, the doctors are themselves survivors of psychological abuse who are having a knee-jerk reaction to their own trauma. Their behaviour has nothing to do with medical science, and it has nothing to do with good medical practice. These doctors are not OK. They need help, although they’re unlikely to get it. The doctors who dismissed and gaslit me over and over do not deserve my respect. They deserve sympathy. They deserve pity. But not respect.