Soundtrack of your CFS life…

SB_1108

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I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread of songs that you feel relate to your CFS life. Maybe this could be ongoing thread and could serve as inspiration for future CFS documentaries? Or just those that need music they can identify with...

I have three songs that I will post but I would love for others to add their CFS songs!

I’ll do sad ones first and end with a more upbeat one! ;)

First one: Adele - "Million Years Ago”
(I had a difficult time finding audio for this one on YouTube - so I don’t know how long this link will work):

Lyrics

I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young
Deep down I must have always known
That this would be inevitable
To earn my stripes I'd have to pay
And bare my soul

I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes I just feel it's only me
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air I miss my friends
I miss my mother I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago

When I walk around all of the streets
Were I grew up and found my feet
They can't look me in the eye
It's like they're scared of me
I try to think of things to say
Like a joke or a memory
But they don't recognise me now
In the light of day

I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes I just feel it's only me
Who never became who they thought they'd be
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air I miss my friends
I miss my mother I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
A million years ago

Second Song: Sia - "I’m in Here"

Lyrics

I'm in here, can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?
I'm in here, a prisoner of history
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I can not, living inside of me

I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something
Can anybody help?
I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I can not, living inside of me

I'm crying out, I'm breaking down
I am fearing it all, stuck inside these walls
Tell me there is hope for me
Is anybody out there listening?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I can not, living inside of me

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me
I need you to hold
All of the sadness I can not, living inside of me

I'm in here, can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

Third Song: Florence & the Machine - “Shake it Out"
Maybe not quite as relevant but it gives me motivation.

Lyrics

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

What are your CFS songs?
 

Effi

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A lot of the words of this song really capture the feeling of being isolated from any kind of social life, indefinitely. Especially the chorus was a part that I used to sing in my head when friends would ask me when when when I was gonna hang out with them again:

If I ever feel better
remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

(warning - thick accent)
 

msf

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I don´t have any ME songs per se, as I still listen to all the types of music I listened to before I fell ill, but it´s funny how a song can remind you of your state of mind (PACE idiots please note, this was largely a result of my state of bodily health) when you first listened to it. When I discover some new music I like I listen to it over and over, which really reinforces this association. When I first fell ill with ME, and my state of mind (see above) was more depressed than it is now, I listened to Dillon´s first album a lot. When I hear it now I feel as ill as I did last year! I still like the album, but it doesn´t go with my mood at the moment. I had the same thing with Arcade Fire´s Funeral, which I happened to discover whilst I had a particularly bad cold/earache thing, and now when I listen to it I am transported back to sitting in my apartment in Taiwan and listening to the album whilst taking Chinese medicine which made my headache worse!

It´s funny also how hearing a song again can make you realise you were depressed when you first listened to it. I had this experience with Sparklehorse. When I first discovered them, I just thought it was really good music, which I still do, but now when I listen to it it also makes me think that I must have been really depressed back then!

Just to show I´m not a total downer, and to show that my state of mind has improved since last year, I listened to Public Enemy´s Harder Than You Think on repeat for about a week, and the title seems kind of appropriate for ME.
 
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  1. River
    Joni Mitchell
    It's coming on Christmas
    They're cutting down trees
    They're putting up reindeer
    And singing songs of joy and peace
    Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

    But it don't snow here
    It stays pretty green
    I'm going to make a lot of money
    Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
    Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

    I wish I had a river so long
    I would teach my feet to fly
    I wish I had a river I could skate away on
    I made my baby cry

    He tried hard to help me
    You know, he put me at ease
    And he loved me so naughty
    Made me weak in the knees
    Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

    I'm so hard to handle
    I'm selfish and I'm sad
    Now I've gone and lost the best baby
    That I ever had
    I wish I had a river I could skate away on

    Oh, I wish I had a river so long
    I would teach my feet to fly
    I wish I had a river
    I could skate away on
    I made my baby say goodbye

    It's coming on Christmas
    They're cutting down trees
    They're putting up reindeer
    And singing songs of joy and peace
    I wish I had a river I could skate away on

Jewel
i'm sensitive
i was thinking that i might fly today / just to disprove all the things that you say / it doesn't take a talent to be mean / your words can crush things that are unseen

so please be careful with me, i'm sensitive / and i'd like to stay that way

you always tell me that it's impossible / to be respected and be a girl / why's it gotta be so complicated? / why you gotta tell me if i'm hated?

so please be careful with me, i'm sensitive / and i'd like to stay that way

i was thinking that it might do some good / if we robbed the cynics and took all their food / that way what they believe will have taken place / and we can give it to people who have some faith

so please be careful with me, i'm sensitive / and i'd like to stay that way

i have this theory that if we're told we're bad / then that's the only idea we'll ever have / but maybe if we are surrounded in beauty / someday we will become what we see / 'cause anyone can start a conflict / it's harder yet to disregard it / i'd rather see the world from another angle / we are everyday angels / be careful with me 'cause i'd like to stay that way

 
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aaron_c

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I mostly have songs that are about ME/CFS if you squint. I tried to include the lyrics that seem pertinent.

First, two from Bruce Springsteen, the king of the down-but-not-out.

The River
Now those memories come back to haunt me
they haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse
that sends me down to the river
though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight
Actually, I always thought it was "is a dream still alive if it don't come true / or is it something worse." You know, like Harlem by Langston Hughes:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
One Step Up
Woke up this morning my house was cold
Checked out the furnace she wasn't burnin'
Went out and hopped in my old Ford
Hit the engine but she ain't turnin'
We've given each other some hard lessons lately
But we ain't learnin'
We're the same sad story that's a fact
One step up and two steps back
On a lighter note (if you watch the music video, anyhow). I definitely identify with the chorus of this song.

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well, I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain

Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away, this ball and chain
Finally, A Thousand Kisses Deep. I love this song, so maybe I was just looking for an excuse to include it. But as far as it is a song about finding meaning after "your little winning streak" is done, I think it fits.

The ponies run, the girls are young,
The odds are there to beat.
You play for a while, and then it’s done –
Your little winning streak.
And summoned now to deal
With your invincible defeat,
You live your life as if it’s real,
A Thousand Kisses Deep.
 
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This one if perfect for a ME movie soundtrack.

Don't let the sun go down on ME


I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

It's much to late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although i search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find oh, the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have, oh they need love to help them heal

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me
 
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Great idea for a thread!!! Here is mine- I find this an enigmatic song that I can come back to again and again..to me it is about hanging on to hope in the middle of not really having it ( if you see what I mean.,,)
Sometimes it is as if it is only memories keeping me held together.


The The -This is the Day

Well you didn't wake up this morning 'cause you didn't go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar on your wall was ticking the days off
You've been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you've changed
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days

[Chorus]
You pull back the curtain
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day, your life will surely change
This is the day, when things fall into place

You could have done anything, if you wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with your memories
That hold your life together, like glue
 
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This thread is a great idea! I hope @SOnset joins it, I find his use of music in his videos so well done.

The following would be my pick. Sorry if it is a bit on the heavy side (Wagner…) - the mesmerizing prologue to the movie "Melancholia".

No lyrics, just music and images, but some are great metaphors of what coming down with this illness is (not the least of which is the cosmic crash…)

And above all, it's as sloooooooooow as can be... Time nearly stops…

 

CFS_for_19_years

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On 9 December 2009, Portishead released the song "Chase the Tear" for Human Rights Day to raise money for Amnesty International UK.
International human rights day (10 December) marks the anniversary of the United Nations historic Universal Declaration Of Human Rights on 10 December 1948. The UDHR set out for the first time in a single document the fundamental rights to which everyone, everywhere is entitled - including the right to life, liberty, security, the freedoms of opinion, association and expression, and the right not to be subjected to torture or cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment.

Looking out Looking in
Going where Never been
Running round Hiding in stairs

Unafraid Felt the grain
Open doorways full of shame
My own life I resented

Winter sigh Summer's gone
Holding off tomorrow's sorrow

Brushing out Brushing in
Losing out Losing thee
Didn't take My heart

Didn't fold Chase the tear
Never let go Now I'm there
It's over It's over

Winter sigh Summer's gone
Holding off tomorrow's sorrow
So I don't want anymore
 
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If I can be permitted another song: Reasons to Be Cheerful Part 3. By Ian Dury
Guaranteed cheer up music....and I particularly like the line 'Why don't you get back into bed?' - Often how I feel!!!



Reasons to be Cheerful - Part 3

Why don't you get back into bed
Why don't you get back into bed
Why don't you get back into bed
Why don't you get back into bed...

Reasons to be cheerful part 3
1 2 3

Summer, Buddy Holly, the working folly
Good golly Miss Molly and boats

Hammersmith Palais, the Bolshoi Ballet
Jump back in the alley and nanny goats

18 wheeler Scammels, dominica camels
All other mammals plus equal votes

Seeing Piccadilly, Fanny sniffin' Willie
Being rather silly and porridge oats

A bit of grin and bear it, a bit of come and share it
Your welcome we can spare it, yellow socks

Too short to be haughty, too nutty to be naughty
Going on forty no electric shocks

The juice of a carrot, the smile of a parrot
A little drop of claret, anything that rocks

Elvis and Scotty, the days when I ain't spotty
Sitting on a potty, curing smallpox

Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful - 1 2 3

Reasons to be cheerful part 3

Health service glasses, gigolos and brasses
Round or skinny bottoms

Take your mum to Paris, lighting up a chalice
Wee Willie Harris

Bantu Steven Biko, listening to Reko
Harpo Groucho Chico

Cheddar cheese and pickle, a Vincent motorcycle
Slap and tickle

Woody Allan, Dali, Domitrie and Pascale
Balla balla balla and Volare

Something nice to study, phoning up a buddy
Being in my nuddy

Saying okeydokey, sing-a-long a Smokie
Coming out a chokie

John Coltrane's soprano, Adie Celentano
Beuno Colino

Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful - 1 2 3

Yes, yes - dear, dear
Perhaps next year
Or maybe even never
In which case

Woody Allan, Dali, Domitrie and Pascale
Balla balla balla and Volare

Something nice to study, phoning up a buddy
Being in my nuddy

Saying okeydokey, sing-a-long a Smokie
Coming out a chokie

John Coltrane's soprano, Adie Celentano
Beuno Colino

Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful part 3
Reasons to be cheerful 1, 2, 3

 
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meandthecat

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Ahh... Ian Dury... introduced to me by John who used to screech like a chimpanzee as he swung around the 2 storey rackwork in the bend room of the oil company we both worked for......reasons to be cheerful
 

Forbin

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For all the people working to raise awareness: Put the Message in the Box by World Party (1991)

Chorus:
Put the message in the box.
Put the box into the car.
Drive the car around the world,
Until you get heard.


[WARNING: Pretty much a collage of video effects.]

 
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