I had to go to the DMV and apply to renew my DL even tho I hardly drive any more. And the entire experience was hallucinagenic.
Maybe it wasn't horribly loud, but still very overstimulating with the ME stress of (after having to read and study the stupid manual, and actually get there)
1) nobody at the handicap appointment booth
2) I cannot stand in lines, so the one chair made me: OUT OF LINE ORDER.
3) a near civil war broke out as Screener One abused me, in front of the 22 people waiting in the official line.
4) now in tears.
5) now barely passing the vision check.
6) now not triggering the finger print machine...that triggers go to the next station.
7)Now taking a test with a pencil, I have also somehow broken the computer taking test.
8) I passed, somehow.
No way, will I have a license should they ask me to take a Drive Test....next time.
Hi Rufous....that may be part of the problem. Too much stimuli coming in at one time, although a trip to a large store will and always has done me in, also.
There is a lot of quiet in nature for the most part, and you're obviously in needing that mode in your life. An anti-anxiety med taken on a regular basis should help control these feelings, although too much stimuli is in an added category. Is it getting worse or staying about the same? Yours, Lenora.
It's true crowded city centres in the 90s before modern architecture and reduced numbers came in felt frightening and bloody scary. Still I was right to be scared one of the worst British child kidnappings occured in that very street. I dread to think! But I never felt safe with my Dad. Which is probably quite and odd thing for a boy to say about his dad but it's true.
So yeah never liked them. However these days I don't mind. But due to not going out much partly due to symptoms partly due to covid I've probably got a little social anxiety.
I don't live in NYC, but in Dallas, TX. In comparison to the UK it's almost quiet here. My husband is from Bath and my mother was from London.
You can't even walk on the sidewalks in Bath any longer....so many people. That gives me a feeling of wanting to get away from it as soon as possible. So I can understand your feeling.
Was the kidnapping the one where boys took a little child and he ended up dead? I remember that case and it would scare a child. Why you were frightened of your father is hard to understand.
Perhaps you saw him at his worst once or a few times and it scared you. A lot of us now have far more social anxiety than we used to. COVID certainly hasn't helped. We'll get back to our new normal at some point. A cabin in the woods is all very nice....as long as someone fills the fridge and pantry! Yours, Lenora.
Darn, this thread seems to have triggered a recurrent dream/nightmare I haven't had for a decade or two. It involves trying to go somewhere in a big city and the sidewalk leads to a mall entrance, with no other options. The mall is huge, crowded, confusing (the main corridor leads to a dead end). My annoyance and panic levels rise until it wakes me up. Bah!
This time I realized that all the stores carried women's clothing, but I vaguely remember a previous recurrence included some useless dustables. Not worth wandering through!
I do read before bed, not that it helps. I've always been slow to fall asleep. I just thought it was odd to have that specific dream maybe 20 years since its last appearance. This thread seems like the only reasonable trigger for it. It's weird how such a detailed dream can persist for so long ... yet I can't remember where I put my <latest thing to lose track of>.