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Saw a thread here today about those who think they have recovered or partly recovered. But through testing, showed marked impairment compared to controls. indeed even though i often feel im better, even during those times, i dont really acknowledge the muscle symptoms, headachs, dizzyness, weakness, that is just there always now. One forgets that before i didnt have those things as persistent as i did after the illness started. And i just dont acknowledge this unless i really think about it. Maybe one just gets too used to it.
Of interest to me, the studys of those who stated they had recovered or partly recovered, but through careful testing this appears to be defianatly only a partial recovery.
As after 15 years i alternate in thinking ive recovered, to only partly recovered, depending on the periods of good health. Which occassionaly can be for long periods of time LEADING TO CONFUSION ? . leading to a feeling of recovery, only to suddenly feel quite poisened again for 24 to 48 hours, sometimes after excercise and sometimes for no apparent reason.
I recently as of the last year, had long periods of good health lasting many weeks. Then as has been the pattern for so long, 4 steps foward, then one back again. I recently had a mild temperature of 99 F With ME symptoms, and just had two crashes in the last two weeks without temperature. I have no idea why im getting more symptoms of late but its very worrying and confusing.
Ive noticed ( wonder if others have noticed this pattern too) that the more severe a relapse, the longer i seem to get between the next relapse. As after the tempetaure crash, i was fine for quite a few weeks, then had two more weaker crashes there after, just this last couple of weeks. the last one lasting 48 hours
Another thing ive noticed over the years ( again wondering if others have this too ) is often i will sleep and always wake feeling very rotton, ( that poisened feeling ) it takes me a while to shake this feeling. each and every waking time. But as the morning progresses i do indeed feel less poisened.
I know one feels groggy when they wake up, but this is different, much more poisened and sluggish than just sleep still in my system.
The mind games this illness plays are very cruel. I do belive mild crashes i have learned to ignore. or forget in a way like they never happened.
So when the longer periods of good health arrive i mistakenly think im cured. ( maybe the mind does this like denial or something ? ) Only to learn once again i am not cured at all. Im just doing much better.
I hate this illness and all its mind games. No wonder we are disbelived. It even tricks me. just when i realize no your still in the grip of this stupid illness, ill have another lengthy time where i feel ok again.
As i said NO WONDER OTHERS THINK WE ARE CRAZY
i question my sanity also. Relaspse remission relaspse remission ahhhhhhhhhh what gives with this messed up mind wreck, damm stupid illness. I hate it. and it leaves me hateing myself, and doubting my sanity, even though i know im not crazy. and would defend myself to a disbeliving doctor, Pointing out my medical history of constant high temperature flu like attacks 102 F that lead to 15 years of this mind wrecking game called ME
Do others feel the same here, suppose i just want reaasurance im not losing it. even though i know i am not ???????????????????????
Please tell me this mind game is what you get too
Of interest to me, the studys of those who stated they had recovered or partly recovered, but through careful testing this appears to be defianatly only a partial recovery.
As after 15 years i alternate in thinking ive recovered, to only partly recovered, depending on the periods of good health. Which occassionaly can be for long periods of time LEADING TO CONFUSION ? . leading to a feeling of recovery, only to suddenly feel quite poisened again for 24 to 48 hours, sometimes after excercise and sometimes for no apparent reason.
I recently as of the last year, had long periods of good health lasting many weeks. Then as has been the pattern for so long, 4 steps foward, then one back again. I recently had a mild temperature of 99 F With ME symptoms, and just had two crashes in the last two weeks without temperature. I have no idea why im getting more symptoms of late but its very worrying and confusing.
Ive noticed ( wonder if others have noticed this pattern too) that the more severe a relapse, the longer i seem to get between the next relapse. As after the tempetaure crash, i was fine for quite a few weeks, then had two more weaker crashes there after, just this last couple of weeks. the last one lasting 48 hours
Another thing ive noticed over the years ( again wondering if others have this too ) is often i will sleep and always wake feeling very rotton, ( that poisened feeling ) it takes me a while to shake this feeling. each and every waking time. But as the morning progresses i do indeed feel less poisened.
I know one feels groggy when they wake up, but this is different, much more poisened and sluggish than just sleep still in my system.
The mind games this illness plays are very cruel. I do belive mild crashes i have learned to ignore. or forget in a way like they never happened.
So when the longer periods of good health arrive i mistakenly think im cured. ( maybe the mind does this like denial or something ? ) Only to learn once again i am not cured at all. Im just doing much better.
I hate this illness and all its mind games. No wonder we are disbelived. It even tricks me. just when i realize no your still in the grip of this stupid illness, ill have another lengthy time where i feel ok again.
As i said NO WONDER OTHERS THINK WE ARE CRAZY
i question my sanity also. Relaspse remission relaspse remission ahhhhhhhhhh what gives with this messed up mind wreck, damm stupid illness. I hate it. and it leaves me hateing myself, and doubting my sanity, even though i know im not crazy. and would defend myself to a disbeliving doctor, Pointing out my medical history of constant high temperature flu like attacks 102 F that lead to 15 years of this mind wrecking game called ME
Do others feel the same here, suppose i just want reaasurance im not losing it. even though i know i am not ???????????????????????
Please tell me this mind game is what you get too