I guess you need to know a little bit about UK newspapers for it to be funny, but, here goes...
"The Daily Express" - unremitting horror - They may as well get rid of all the news every day and just print "DON'T GO OUTSIDE! It's full of gays, blacks and crime! Oh, if only Princess Diana were here..."
"The Daily Mail" - ASBOs, Muslims, Speed cameras, speed cameras, ASBOs, Muslims, Speed cameras...
is an anti-social behaviour order, basically used instead of an old-fashioned clip round the ear or 'common decency', the theory being that Britain's youth are so out-of-control and parenting is so bad that the State has to take over and criminalise petty offences. It's sort of a badge of pride for youngsters...)
"The Sun" - Are you a paedophile? Are you a paedophile? Now look at this page 3 spread, she's 16 today, get a load of that rack. Are you a paedophile?
(This is unsubtly pointing out the hypocrisy of the Sun in that it funds vigilante hunts of paedophiles while encouraging its readers to ogle teenage girls.)
"The Independent" - it's like it's grabbed you by the throat - WHY AREN'T YOU RECYCLING? YOU JUST KILLED A POLAR BEAR!
"The Guardian" - in the corner fanning itself with a wallchart, "You silly little things, tell 'em, Telegraph"
(The Guardian is really quite left-wing... WAY to the left of Obama, for example, and deals in a seasoned brand of intellectual snobbery. And that's coming from me, the bleeding-heart liberal...)
"The Daily Telegraph" - criCKET! criCKET!
(this is done in the style of an old working class Monty Python character. Not quite sure why he chose that for the Telegraph).
One of my staff is from the States and she was utterly horrified by the double standards in the British press when she first came here, so much so that she did an degree project about it...